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[UltraMagnus]

I recognized a dwarf of mine is a dipshit, so now "Dipshit" is his job title. Dipshit just tried to cross the water feeding into my artificial waterfall and fell into a 7/7 lake below.
Dipshit is lucky to be alive.

[TheFlame52]

Mummy ate my dwarves.

You're not going to get away with just that. Tell the whole story.

[Edmus]

My liason showed up with the queen and is demanding their own room and such. How will I get news of the outside now?

[Untelligent]

My fortress was ambushed by some of the elves we're at war with. One spearbearer ran like hell inside the palisade before the drawbridges were raised and stabbed the hell out of a lumberjack and some other dwarves. Then the captain of the axedwarves arrived on the scene, fought a bit, and got a good whack on the elf's right hand, severing a nerve and making him drop the spear. The elf had enough of this bullshit and ran around the courtyard in a circle, then went up the ramp to the top of the palisade.


Before I move the camera up a level to see what's going on up there, I see a recruit, the broker, and an elf head falling down off the palisade into the river canyon that seperates my fort from the north half of the map. They landed in a school of carp, who were overcome with terror.

[Robsoie]

Very happy, not because it's some amazing artifact description as unfortunately it's not that great, but happy because this is the first artifact weapon my "moody" dwarves forged in DF2014 after so many of useless ones.



it's worth is 68400 apparently (it doubled my whole fortress "value" , i guess this will hopefully start to attract things from the outside world)
I hope to get some piece of armor next, as so far my DF2014 "moody" dwarves never forged a single piece of artifact armor

Now if only sieges were coming so one of my dwarves could test it in battle, but i guess i ran into the "lack of invaders" bug because there's none since years.

[pisskop]

Mummy ate my dwarves.

You're not going to get away with just that. Tell the whole story.

Not much story, actually.  I embarked on a tomb.  I sent them inside to make it a proper home, and it turns out that mummies operate the same way as they do in adventurer.  Did not know.  Of course he appeared behind them and raised everything, and they were all chased down.  One of my shortest forts yet.  :/

So of course I am going to do it again.  Theres a nearby tower and that should make it more interesting.  Also kobolds stealing mummy loot.

[Larix]

Just thought up another silly variant of one-cart-multiple-bit minecart memory:
http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-2676-omgfastmemory1

It's a very "dynamic" type of memory because it's based on corner derailing of a cart going at maximum rampable speed. Cycle time through the four-bit array is 25 steps. It takes "on" input signals and turns them into a pressure plate output, which is kept active after the inputs turn off (because the plate activates and thus "latches" another door). Active bits could be switched off by sending a "flip" cycle (on-off signal pair) to the latched door; since the cart never seems to occupy the squares of the doors themselves, wedging the cart in a closing door should be impossible. The speed gained in the southern acceleration rail is enough for four bit-cells, but the pattern is likely to fail on significantly longer bit chains - cart loses 2000-4000 speed per bit.

[caknuck]

After three years, I was pretty sure there were no land animals in this biome. That was up until I saw one of my hunters struggling to drag in a "E" corpse. I thought it was a giant eagle, as one of those bastards busted up one of my O.G. miners (broken hand, fully recovered now). Then I had a look at the Butcher's Workshop...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have to start reading the combat reports more often...

==Update==

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And of course it went rotten, because my stupid cooks would rather make roasts with four single unit stacks of tallow than a 129-unit stack of high value meat. Assholes.

Welp, into the volcano it goes. Sorry, Stompy.

[sculleywr]

After about 5 years of no goblin sightings of any sort except for a very early 5 Goblin ambush that got scared away by a wild Honey Badger, and even the liaison only telling me that the world stays the same, I decided to make a backup and check legends mode to see what was up.

Apparently over these last few years the Goblin civ that my previously destroyed civ was at war with has been cut down to only 6 Goblins...

I guess it's time to start digging deeper and find something for my military to actually fight.

Perhaps that's what's wrong with my current fortress. I have a ton of value and no attacks from anything worse than a wild boar. I'm thinking of wiping the elves that come out for fun

[flabort]

Well, reading that, at first I was like, way to go, that's awesome caknuck!
But, uh... well, I'm sorry man, that's a dissapointing update. All that meat... You need to set up more kitchens, maybe?

[TacoSundae84]

I just had a dwarf, who now has the profession 'Baby Factory', give birth to her fifth child in three years. The remarkable thing about this one is that it popped out while she was sleeping. Apparently she's given birth so many times, it doesn't even wake her up. It escaped out of the room and ran down the hall of the living quarters for a few minutes before the baby factory woke up and finally grabbed it. I can only imagine the scene she woke up to, blood and baby juices all over the room and the infant she was already holding. She looks down and sees an umbilical cord trailing out of the room "Oh, must have popped out another one".

[ZzarkLinux]

So "Sleep" means no "Seeking Infant" pickup? I guess is the same thing for "Rest" too. Maybe that's why I had a dehydrated baby in my dining room.

[Chevaleresse]

I had a dwarf continually cancel all tasks because she was seeking a dead and buried infant. She proceeded to go beserk and remove one of the engraver's arms.

[caknuck]

Well, reading that, at first I was like, way to go, that's awesome caknuck!
But, uh... well, I'm sorry man, that's a dissapointing update. All that meat... You need to set up more kitchens, maybe?

I built an emergency kitchen right beside the butchery, placing the meatstacks 4 tiles away from the new kitchen (no other food items were closer). The friggin' dwarfs would path THROUGH the kitchen, past heaps of elephant meat, and over to the storeroom beyond to fetch a single-unit stack of tallow. Idiots.

[Chevaleresse]

Oh come on.