NOTE: only been playing for a few weeks, so I think I have the interface down pretty well, but I still get caught with my pants down occasionally; working on my fourth fortress (abandoning the first three after critical design flaws resulted in the beginnings of tantrum spiral).
The latest, Paddleflickers, is located on the top of a heavily forested grassy plateau rich in clay, limonite, bituminous coal, marble, gold, and platinum (I used the quickstart guide to make a favorable world). Defensive arrangements were easy with the natural plateau (only a small 5-10 tile border around the edge of the map below the plateau level, and a defensive moat all the way around the inside; only way under the moat is a 3-wide entrance tunnel into the depot and (by alternate drawbridge routing) the trapped fortified "murder tunnel". On the down side, migrants and hunters tend to be far from the only way in at all times and have to walk all the way around the plateau to get back to the entrance (problematic if they're in a race with megabeasts or goblin raiders). I also have yet to be visited by goblins on giant bats, which would be a problem because all of my cattle is still topside and my top entrance is only protected by a retractable bridge and a few cage traps.
One specific sequence of events I thought was particularly "narrative"...
* Fortress gets offered the opportunity to become a barony; seeing the wealth of native gold and platinum to make a spectacular bedroom/tomb/etc, I accept, and the baronness.
* Much goldwork later, I have a whole mess of gold cabinets, tables, chests, etc installed in the baronesses quarters in preparation for her eventual promotion.
* Baroness promoted to countess, then meets with liaison again and we're told we will be promoted to a County. Yay!
* As the liaison is walking towards the edge of the map, I get the "Ambush!" notification and check for the location...and apparently the ambush was detected, far from my main entrance, by none other than the countess herself who was half way across the map chasing butterflies. She is promptly chased down and impaled by a goblin pikemaster.
* Strangely enough, a little bit of time later I got the notification that Paddleflickers had been promoted to a County even though the senior official was now a Mayor...odd...
* So now, I'm sitting on a fabulously appointed throne room / dining room / bed room / tomb filled with gold stuff and with no prospect of having a noble to fill it. Of course, I make the appropriate donations to the next dwarven caravan to become the Capital....
* ...which happens in short order. After sorting the legendary retinue dwarves into a nasty close combat squad, I examine my new Monarch. Who is, of course, an ancient Vampire. Yay. Very soon after he takes up residence, he also gets himself elected Mayor (which does, pleasantly, cut down on the Mandates somewhat). Oh, and he's obsessed with Low Boots and Maces.
* After some consideration, I decide to burrow him into his quarters to limit his access to other dwarves' beds while still allowing unhappy dwarves to meet in his throne room and experience his epic level social skills. As an insurance policy (when activating the Danger burrow, for example), I also install a gold drawbridge just outside the throne room to keep him contained.
* ...and then a nasty idea hits me. I have a Vampire King, so why would I not keep him happy by feeding him young dwarves every year (not sure if feeding a vampire actually gives them a happiness boost, but why not?). I pick a Peasant with no family and no useful skills, attach them to the King's burrow, build a bed assigned to them in the King's Dining Room, and wait for nature to take its course.
* For reasons that are not clear to me, the Peasant gets stuck in the alcohol stockpile drinking rum when I assign them to the burrow. Reluctant to serve their lord and master, I imagine.
* To jostle them loose, I assign them to an empty military squad with no uniform and station them in the King's Dining Room.
* In an unexpected turn of events, the chosen dwarf walks to the barracks, executes a "pickup equipment", strips naked (oh, that's right, the no uniform was assigned as "instead of clothing"), and marches into the Vampire's Den.
* And at this point, I look in detail and find that the Chosen dwarf is female. And a teenager. And named "Iton Greatbodice". And now naked and prancing around the King's quarters. I couldn't have figured out how to make that happen on purpose if I had tried.
* To close out this part of the story, the chosen dwarf becomes increasingly unhappy due to nakedness (I do create a couple of stockpiles so dwarves bring in food and drink for her). She petitions the King and they "attend meeting" for awhile, and both of them get happy thoughts for her having cried on his shoulder (and him being a master consoler).
* Mollified, she falls asleep in the provided bed and is immediately drained of all of her blood.
* Disturbingly, the farmer that comes in to remove her body is very tired and jumps into bed *with her bloodless corpse* to take a nap (
). By the time I realize this, the King has already drained him dry as well (fortunately, I have a massive oversupply of farmers). In the future, I'll definitely be deconstructing the bed in the dining room as soon as it has been "used".
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Topic: What's going on in your fort? (Read 6098840 times)