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[ThatAussieGuy]

Fighting on top of my trade depot will teach me not to build with white stone . This one is covered with blood and vomit.

Sounds like a pretty damn dwarven trading depot to me.

"What's this we're standing in?"

"The elven caravan.  They disagreed with our logging policies"

[CaptainBadwheel]

This latest fortress is hilarious, the Depot House only has a single gag weapon trap guarding it (Training Weapons and a single wooden bow I found on a dead elf caravan). So I keep getting ambushes inside this tiny little building. This last group got eight goblins in before they were spotted.  Naturally everything gets splattered with blood and its hard to tell what I'm trying to trade and if the Traders actually survived.

[CaptainBadwheel]

I just had a Book Keeper bite a FB's head off! I hope he survives the syndrome!

[Kipi]

Experiencing interesting phenomenon in my current fortress; I have two doctors, both have same first name Cog, and they are married. The fun fact is those two have been swapping the position of mayor between each other early, eleven years by now. Every year the other one gets elected to the position, next year is spouse's turn.

The only way I noticed this was because I had to reassign the office to new mayor each year, otherwise they can use the same rooms...

[Hybrid]

I had embarked in a new place and things seem to be going well, save for a few deaths.

One of my 4 cage traps managed to catch a goblin snatcher. Not really knowing much about transfering occupied cages (and being too lazy to look it up), I set up a room next to my military's training grounds and put a restraint there along with a door. Then I ordered one of my dwarves to tie up the goblin. I could have waited to see if he would starve/dehydrate to death, but instead something inside me made me tell my 5 dwarf squad, equiped with just mere training axes and themselves being quite green, to kill the now prisoned goblin. Obviously things were gonna go bad for them, and they did. One dwarf was killed real soon (the goblin actually managed to make the dwarf's head fly away with 1 blow). Anther one fell too; the captain sustained not-so-nice injuries and retreated. I called off the attack and forbid everything in the room to stop all the dwarves crowding up on the door while being instantly interrupted by the snatcher when entering the room.

But I wasn't done with my stupid squad ideas yet.

This time it was a small archer squad, also with crappy epuipment. Ofcourse another dwarf died, while all the damage that goblin sustained was a bruised eyelid. This squad was called off, too. For a while I let the remaining corpses and the like generate miasma (and it was a damn good idea to atleast put a door there). I got bored to wait already and put 20 dwarves into 2 squads and ordered them to group up on that goblin. Hell, if something would go terribly wrong, atleast it would be quite entertaining. Now the dwarves easily disposed of him and I disbanded them from the squads, then grabbed all that was avaiable. One of the corpses had vanished into a cloud of miasma, while the other 2 found their resting place in coffins.

Currently the ex-squad leader is laying in his bed while being pissed-off. He even threw a tantrum, but, not being able to move, settled down. My chief medical dwarf isn't paying attention to him now. On the other hand, that coffin will finally have a use.

[Greiger]

First artifact in a new fort and it seems to already be pissing off the gods.

The Spread Mirror, an acacia casket

This is an acacia casket. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality.  It is decorated with palm. 
On the item is an image of Arurik the Flame of Fires, the diety of fire, depicted as a male blue dracon in acacia. Arurik the Flame of Fire looks offended.
On the item is an image of a naked mole dog in palm.

If I was a god and some lowly mortal implied that I was a naked mole dog with some obtuse mirror reference I would look offended too.  And the whole thing is made of very burnable wood.  This carpenter is clearly BEGGING to die horribly in a fire.

[the woods]

First artifact in a new fort and it seems to already be pissing off the gods.

The Spread Mirror, an acacia casket

This is an acacia casket. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality.  It is decorated with palm. 
On the item is an image of Arurik the Flame of Fires, the diety of fire, depicted as a male blue dracon in acacia. Arurik the Flame of Fire looks offended.
On the item is an image of a naked mole dog in palm.

If I was a god and some lowly mortal implied that I was a naked mole dog with some obtuse mirror reference I would look offended too.  And the whole thing is made of very burnable wood.  This carpenter is clearly BEGGING to die horribly in a fire.

It may be a burial practice for Arurik worshipers to burn the casket. The dog picture is ... just a dog picture.

[Greiger]

Hmm, that does make sense...I did have an old tradition of flooding my soldiers' burial chambers with magma, but I stopped doing that after ghosts were implemented because I wasn't sure if that would piss them off.

It must be a sign.  The god of fire is angry with me.   I must continue the tradition!  Ghosts are what engraved slabs are for!  To the magma quarter!

As for the naked mole dog...hmm....odd....maybe it is just a naked mole dog picture....

[MasterMorality]

New fort.
Attacked my a minotaur, migrant wave killed it.
Great Savage was claimed by a mad mood, didn't have what he wanted. He walked into the nursery and killed a child, and then attacked an acid mephit which promptly kicked his arse.
Lulz.

[empfan]

Badgers...so many...badgers...fucking everywhere...killed half my millitary, had to lock my noble in his room...they ain't normal...i'm going to die...

MEANWHILE IN MY NEW FORT...trying to rebuild the nights watch from the Song of Ice and Fire series.  So far, my dwarf named "Lord Commander Mormont", has started a party...during a siege...god dammit.

[bukitodinos]

dude nobles are useless kill them... with velotoraptors id gladly help you

menwhile in atuin we found CANDY SO MUCH CANDY iv decked out my army with CAndy armor and 2h swords
and i have not found the gap yet nevermine all hell has broken loose (literaly) my legendary swordsmaster is in a mood (mason) and there are dead baybies EVEYWHERE miasma is comeing into my fort and everyone too busy fighting to clear out the corpses FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- well il have to use

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAGGGGGGMMMMMAAAAA

crap.. goodbye atuin you were my fist and best fort

[terkiey]

Oops, didn't see that ramp into my base, there goes all dwarves... dead.

[Niccolo]

There's no difference between the 3x1 (which I'm using) and the 3x2 layout from what I've seen on the magmawiki and forums.  Besides, wouldn't a larger surface area increase the CPU workload due to the processor having to check more tiles for magma?

I'm pretty sure this was scienced a way back... as soon as I find the thread I'll tell you.

But, no - it's why having a volcano isn't insta-framekill. If the magma isn't moving, it doesn't recheck the temperature. As long as only the one unbounded square fills and drops, there should be less framerate murder. It takes a bit of experimentation to ensure you get a good flow going, though.

I'll see if I can't find the thread for you.

EDIT: Found it! It looks like your design should work, fellow Aussie, but... well, read this thread. It features a design very similar to yours, but he makes the point that you should allow each reservoir to fill before activating the next level of pumps. The two squares of 7/7 magma on either side of the square that is sucked up by the next pump up should work to keep all squares hot.

Oh, and:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Tharwen]

A carpenter just died from thirst a couple of metres away from the drink he was running to pick up...

[ThatAussieGuy]

There's no difference between the 3x1 (which I'm using) and the 3x2 layout from what I've seen on the magmawiki and forums.  Besides, wouldn't a larger surface area increase the CPU workload due to the processor having to check more tiles for magma?

I'm pretty sure this was scienced a way back... as soon as I find the thread I'll tell you.

But, no - it's why having a volcano isn't insta-framekill. If the magma isn't moving, it doesn't recheck the temperature. As long as only the one unbounded square fills and drops, there should be less framerate murder. It takes a bit of experimentation to ensure you get a good flow going, though.

I'll see if I can't find the thread for you.

EDIT: Found it! It looks like your design should work, fellow Aussie, but... well, read this thread. It features a design very similar to yours, but he makes the point that you should allow each reservoir to fill before activating the next level of pumps. The two squares of 7/7 magma on either side of the square that is sucked up by the next pump up should work to keep all squares hot.

Oh, and:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fixed the problem.  I was right, surprisingly.  I had them laid out in 3x1 chambers as xrx where r was a ramp (x was an empty tile) so the dwarves couldn't get stuck.  Turns out the ramps are what caused the FPS to kill itself.  I removed them all, sealed the chambers back up and I'm getting a steady 30 FPS, down from 40.

edit:  Before anyone asks, yes I turned the temperature back on before I tested this.