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[absynthe7]

Hey, a kobold thief! I'll send my fledgeling military of a half-dozen dwarves after him, get some practice, y'know?

Oh. Kobold ambush. Two full squads of archers. Trapavoid archers.

The battle's going poorly, so I draft a few haulers and... wait, what? A goblin ambush? At the same time? Hey, the more the merrier, right?

"THE FORGOTTEN BEAST WHATSISNAME HAS ARRIVED. Also, please note the gap in the wall around your farms."

Um... okay, this might be getting a little out of ha-"Winter is upon you! AUTOSAVE!"

What.

[Shurikane]

Hey, a kobold thief! I'll send my fledgeling military of a half-dozen dwarves after him, get some practice, y'know?

Oh. Kobold ambush. Two full squads of archers. Trapavoid archers.

The battle's going poorly, so I draft a few haulers and... wait, what? A goblin ambush? At the same time? Hey, the more the merrier, right?

"THE FORGOTTEN BEAST WHATSISNAME HAS ARRIVED. Also, please note the gap in the wall around your farms."

Um... okay, this might be getting a little out of ha-"Winter is upon you! AUTOSAVE!"

What.

The English language cannot accurately describe how hard I LOLed. 

[TherosPherae]

Hey, a kobold thief! I'll send my fledgeling military of a half-dozen dwarves after him, get some practice, y'know?

Oh. Kobold ambush. Two full squads of archers. Trapavoid archers.

The battle's going poorly, so I draft a few haulers and... wait, what? A goblin ambush? At the same time? Hey, the more the merrier, right?

"THE FORGOTTEN BEAST WHATSISNAME HAS ARRIVED. Also, please note the gap in the wall around your farms."

Um... okay, this might be getting a little out of ha-"Winter is upon you! AUTOSAVE!"

What.

Sounds like you get to have Fun.

The fort on the computer I'm currently on has died due to FPS issues. I knew I shouldn't have breached that aquifer, then drained it into the cavern.... New fort time, though.

[Herbiie]

Hey, a kobold thief! I'll send my fledgeling military of a half-dozen dwarves after him, get some practice, y'know?

Oh. Kobold ambush. Two full squads of archers. Trapavoid archers.

The battle's going poorly, so I draft a few haulers and... wait, what? A goblin ambush? At the same time? Hey, the more the merrier, right?

"THE FORGOTTEN BEAST WHATSISNAME HAS ARRIVED. Also, please note the gap in the wall around your farms."

Um... okay, this might be getting a little out of ha-"Winter is upon you! AUTOSAVE!"

What.

Time to batten down the hatches & hide mebbe?

[Uzu Bash]

Obsidian production is salvageable, with time and effort, time and effort that will yield more obsidian. I really need more quantity controls on those magma and water outputs; the shaft was built to contain 10 levels of fluids but I didn't expect it to be fully filled this time.

Meanwhile, a fire man got loose while I was distracted. Found his head separated from his body in the magma channel, so that's taken care of. One war dog and a giant leopard dead, and a long trail of smoke leads to an elephant on fire. Spraying blood and burning. I couldn't pick him out of the pit list; I guess killing a fire man doesn't rate you a name; so I had all war elephants thrown into the indoor pool. A nurse burned up trying to lead him to water, along with her baby. O hell.

So all I can do is watch and hope he enters a room I can forbid the door on. No other flaming screaming deaths for now, but all it takes is for him to wander across the more crowded pathways and someone will eventually share a tile with him and become a walking torch.

EDIT: Huh. I guess I should expect that alcohol is combustible. I just saw a barrel of sunshine explode out of the still this elephant was hanging around, and amazingly no one was injured.

[kardwill]

Hey, a kobold thief! I'll send my fledgeling military of a half-dozen dwarves after him, get some practice, y'know?

Oh. Kobold ambush. Two full squads of archers. Trapavoid archers.

The battle's going poorly, so I draft a few haulers and... wait, what? A goblin ambush? At the same time? Hey, the more the merrier, right?

"THE FORGOTTEN BEAST WHATSISNAME HAS ARRIVED. Also, please note the gap in the wall around your farms."

Um... okay, this might be getting a little out of ha-"Winter is upon you! AUTOSAVE!"

What.

Crouched near the campfire, the goblin drew a crude map in the muddy soil, then looked at his guest. « If we charge in, the traps here will butcher us. So, d’ya ‘bolds have any way to draw them out ?
- Traps ? Feh ! » scoffed the kobold shaman, his crest clicking as he shaked his head. « Traps are no trouble for kobold ! Ichilzikkys here enter any fortress, trap or not. He enters, he stabs a dwarf, he runs. Not run too fast, so even the steelskins can follow.
- And then you guys pincushion them from here, and... here. If they run, you follow them while firing in their backs, and you open the doors for us. If they charge, My swordgoblins will leap from cover to engage them and protect yah scaly hides.
- Steelskin warriors will not flee. They not know how to. They not right in head. But if they close doors while we ... pin-caution the warriors, what we do ? Steel armor and weapons is good, but the shiny stuff and the food are inside. And the stout ones can build more steelskins if we not kill them all. If we not kill them all, we never take back the land they stole. »
The goblin bandit leader grinned, and looked at a clay idol above the campfire. An eldritch horror from times past, that the goblins did worship since the Dawn. If you knew the right sacrifices, the right rituals, at the right time, even the gods could becom weapon of war. « I have already a... plan for this. The dwarves will regret that there are no more exits to their fortress. Just make sure that your ‘bolds are ready to strike during winter solstice night... So do we have an alliance with you lizards, or not ? »

[Uzu Bash]

I wonder at what point of total immolation the lack of oxygen becomes a problem. The elephant suffocated with no futher deaths, though the loss of two barrels of sunshine is a shame. I forbid the corpse, though it's probably good eating, and every door leading to it until the flames die down.

[Herbiie]

forbid the corpse, though it's probably good eating,

Ready cooked Elephant? Yum!

[pixl97]

Pesor Nod arrvies at Oddomsubil. He surveys what once was a beautiful bluff by the river. Now it is a scene of wreckage and ruin. A narrow path filled with boulders covered in the blue blood of trolls marks the way. What comes next is more more disturbing. Arms, legs, head, guts, random piles of unidentifiable goo. A torso is hanging on the edge of a wall a few stories high. As if the ghastly sight wasn't enough a trolls body explodes in a cloud of purple gas, splattering the pack animals in putrid pus. Thoughts of turning around and leaving this forsaken place crossed his mind, but it was the kings mandate that he must go on. The king did not take kindly to his mandates being broken except under the most dire circumstances.

From the mist he spotted his first dwarf, then another, and even more! Fifty dwarves labored away, picking up body parts and singing

"Oh yo, oh yo, over the cliff the filth must go"
"We watch them burn in the magma flow"

As He passed the work crew the cliff sang about came in to view. A heart stopping drop beside the road. Far below a huge cloud of smoke and steam roiled. In between the bursts the red glow of molten rock shown through. Just then a scream fills the air, echoing on the canyon walls. A fat dwarf kicks a goblin bowman off the cliff. He screams all the way down to the cloud of smoke, then and errie silence fills the air. He walks on, tempered in his willpower. His course is set.

The Great Bismuth of Oddomsubil lay before him. So bright pink in color it was hard to look at. After all the terror he had past, he had to laugh, only the dwarves would build something so bold and silly. The worst was behind him. Now all he had to do was wrap up a little diplomacy. The entire earth shook. A great horn blew. The bridge he had just crossed recoiled in to the ground at lightning speed. Dwarves grabbed swords, axes, and hammers, running toward the entrance of the mountain home.

"A great beast has invaded the caverns!, blood boils all it touches!"

Pesor knew it had to be a Monday.
   

[Quantum Toast]

Some hunter got killed by a fire man. Fortunately, some diligent dwarf thought to fetch his still-burning corpse and leave it in my barracks for the soldiers to admire.

Most of the smoke is gone now, though the world's still on fire up above.

[Megaman3321]

I struck GOLD, BABY! I'll have plenty of sarcophagi for the next ambush. And colden splints. And tables. Made by the legendary blacksmith who made an artifact platinum hatch cover worth over 100,000 dorfbucks. I also have acess to marble, a FLUX stone, but pig iron doesn't show up to be made! Until I figure out what's wrong, my militia will still be armed with iron.

[absynthe7]

Okay.

So, my poorly-trained militia killed enough kobolds to scare them off before the goblins killed them all. The goblins then charged into my poorly-trapped entryway and suffered just enough casualties to be forced to retreat (hooray for cage traps), and as they fled the map they were promptly slaughtered by the skeletal camels that have terrorized my fort from day 1.

Meanwhile, the Forgotten Beast wanders around the caverns while my one able-bodied speardwarf guards the farms. My other dwarves are scrambling to get weapons from their fallen comrades before joining him. I've dropped from 26 dwarves to 15.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a Forgotten Beast to kill.

It. Is. On.

[Haspen]

I struck GOLD, BABY! I'll have plenty of sarcophagi for the next ambush. And colden splints. And tables. Made by the legendary blacksmith who made an artifact platinum hatch cover worth over 100,000 dorfbucks. I also have acess to marble, a FLUX stone, but pig iron doesn't show up to be made! Until I figure out what's wrong, my militia will still be armed with iron.

Lack of coal? That's everything I think can be wrong with pig iron not showing up.

[Lord Shonus]

I struck GOLD, BABY! I'll have plenty of sarcophagi for the next ambush. And cgolden splints. And tables.

You strike gold, and the FIRST thing you think of to make with it is coffins? Only in DF.

[Musashi]

Hey, don't laugh, I'm running out of coffins because the damn dorfs won't pop 'em faster than they die! All they do fast is making engravings of goblins and humans killing dwarves.