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Author Topic: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - Revenge of the meta  (Read 46548 times)

poketwo

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #210 on: April 07, 2015, 04:06:42 pm »

TAKE THE INQUISITOR TO WHERE THE PAUL CULTISTS ARE AT AND GET PAUL TO SPEAK, WE BOTH HAVE MIND-CONTROL PREVENTING STUFF ON US
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #211 on: April 07, 2015, 04:27:52 pm »

Eat all 2000 pineapples
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Cryxis, Prince of Doom

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #212 on: April 07, 2015, 05:15:09 pm »

help Paul defend himself
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Fueled by caffeine, nicotine, and a surprisingly low will to live.
Cryxis makes the best typos.

Nidilap

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #213 on: April 07, 2015, 05:18:13 pm »

I have returned. After so long being away, I have learned to Sword. As seen by my pic. This worlds in chaos, I must consult Paul.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2015, 05:42:16 pm by Nidilap »
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Ama

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #214 on: April 07, 2015, 05:26:11 pm »

Unite the Berry people and lead them to their new god, Paul the Godly Pineapple
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Sl4cker

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #215 on: April 07, 2015, 09:27:11 pm »

Switch my POV to my next of kin!
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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

Aslandus

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #216 on: April 07, 2015, 11:06:00 pm »

Shove Poketwo's living-ghostself into a jar.
This shall be his new prison.

[4] You shove his ghosty-self into a jar and put him on a shelf, where he will remain for all eternity or until something gets him out, whichever comes first.

TAKE THE INQUISITOR TO WHERE THE PAUL CULTISTS ARE AT AND GET PAUL TO SPEAK, WE BOTH HAVE MIND-CONTROL PREVENTING STUFF ON US
[6] You get him to take your hand and fly the two of you off to see Paul. Unfortunately you approach from the wrong side and Paul is sleeping so he looks completely inanimate. The Inquisitor isn't impressed and executes you on the spot for wasting his time with this nonsense. You are dead, and now have two ghosty selves, one in a jar and one here. Seems he's a little hasty on the draw when it comes to killing his fellow inquisitors, it's almost suspicious :O.

Eat all 2000 pineapples
[6] OM NOM NOM SO TASTY OH GOD MY MOUTH IT HURTS WHY DID I DO THIS WHY PAUL WHY!?!!?

help Paul defend himself
[6] You defend Paul so good that you would take a bullet for him. You prove it by shooting at Paul then diving in the way of your own bullet. You are now even more ghostly than before. Ironically that bullet you shot wouldn't have hurt Paul anyway, but logic holds no ground in this land!

I have returned. After so long being away, I have learned to Sword. As seen by my pic. This worlds in chaos, I must consult Paul.
Welcome back!
[2] You decide Paul's probably super busy and wouldn't want to see you anyway, so you don't consult him.

Unite the Berry people and lead them to their new god, Paul the Godly Pineapple
[1] "No! The Strawberry Queen Isabel is the true savior of the berry people! Begone hedonist!" Then they banish you from their village. Well, that could've gone better.

Switch my POV to my next of kin!
[6] You find the son you never knew you had! And he's batshit crazy! And he's Poketwo! And he just got shot! Well, that was anticlimactic...

Cryxis, Prince of Doom

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #217 on: April 07, 2015, 11:07:38 pm »

I become Paul's guardian spirit.
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Fueled by caffeine, nicotine, and a surprisingly low will to live.
Cryxis makes the best typos.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #218 on: April 07, 2015, 11:10:15 pm »

Lock this thread
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Sl4cker

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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

Yoink

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #220 on: April 07, 2015, 11:27:13 pm »

Jump on a convenient motorcycle and go to consult the Oracle!
[5] You ride off in style and ask the oracle for directions, she says:

"To solve this problem and fix space-time, you must go back to the place it began and do what must be done: finish eating that pineapple before it got turned into a stitched up monster"

GASP
"But... but... but Paul's a cool guy! He's actually really nice! None of this stuff was his fault! Well... not directly... kinda..."
>Ask the Oracle just how, if I were to hypothetically try and travel through time to complete this plan, would I do so?
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.
Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #221 on: April 08, 2015, 04:26:17 am »

Increase the happiness of the berry people since the strawberry queen seems to be anti-utilitarianism.
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poketwo

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #222 on: April 08, 2015, 05:21:23 am »

GO BACK IN TIME EVEN FUTHER TO INVESTIGATE THE OTHER INQUISITOR'S POSSIBLE HERESY
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Nidilap

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #223 on: April 08, 2015, 07:37:06 am »

Fine, Paul! If you don't wanna see me, I'll just go see another pineapple! With Blackjack and Hookers!
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

Ama

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - everyone dies edition
« Reply #224 on: April 08, 2015, 03:01:54 pm »

"Oh Great Paul! The Berry People doubt your divinity! Rain fire on these heretics! Purge the unbelievers!"
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