Since everyone wants to play with Puff puff, I'll do this one first...
Now then...
Me: Recruit rappers to join my cult!
90 cultists: Repair base!
50 trained cultists and 3 veterans: guard base.
100 cultists: If a certain someone fires a nuke at me, power swap them with carp. Otherwise recruit generics to join my cult.
8 cultists in high places: Do political stuff to help my PR!
100 cultists: Research the location of artifacts that may be useful.
10 cultists who used to be wealthy: invest in businesses with any remaining money you have, become wealthy again.
Journalist hirelings: Write articles about my plans to restore rain to California.
recruit: [2] They find nobody who will help you.
repair: [1] Out with the old and in with the- coffee break! (base destroyed)
guard: [4] They take up defensive positions and get ready to attack invaders. (guarding)
power swap (because your choice of swappers is too hilarious to pass up): [6] You swap the powers of DF carp and Rabe. Now Rabe has the ability to drown people and detect beards and alcohol, and CARP has the ability to never age and talent with psychic power... No, those ARE useful powers, shut up! (powers swapped in Rabe's favor)
PR: [1] Wait, no, raining for 40 days and 40 nights isn't what you meant to say- (hated by humanity)
research: [2] They can't find anything about magic artifacts, just references to old stuff that's in museums. These museum brochures clearly aren't what you're looking for...
invest: [3] They manage to get some investments done, but they don't get their money back yet. (investments made)
Puff puff: reform[6] He pulls himself together and rushes back to your base. Some of your guards get covered in hallucinogenic dust. (guards hallucinating)
Normal Inquisitors: attack Unescargot[4] They rush your guards and slaughter them through superior numbers. You cultists are helpless to fend them off since they are hallucinating to all hell. Your veterans flee, discretion is the better part of valor after all. (-all guards, -50 inquisitors)
Inquisitors in high places: get a contract for weapons for the rest of these shlubs[3] They get Kitten inc. to sell them metal bars and pipes for cheap prices. Apparently it pays to know your enemy's enemies, and to have access to cheap materials. (inquisitors lightly armed)
Revised turn 13 actions:
51 hallucinating cultists: wash away the dust.
200 heavily armed cultists: repair our defenses. Then guard our base.
101 cultists and 80 empowered cultists: improve our PR.
Koshu: if Puff-Puff is back together, telepathically compel Puff-Puff to spread dust around Unescargot's base. If not, assist with PR.
washy washy dust: [4] They ignore the sharks in the water long enough to wash off the dust. Hooray for cleanliness! (no more hallucianting)
repair: [3] They manage to patch up the defenses fairly quickly but decide to get some pizza instead of guarding. They don't even bring any back for you! (defenses repaired)
PR: [4] They improve your reputation a bit. You weren't paying attention when they said what they promised you would do but it was probably nothing you weren't going to do anyway. (Now have good PR)
Say hi to puff puff: [6] Puff puff tells you to fuck off, he isn't turning on Unescargot for nothing.
Inquisitors: Tear down your walls, Koshu!
[4] They blast another big hole in your defensive wall. Accursed inquisitors. Your cultists manage to pick some of them off as they run away. (-50 inquisitors, defenses damaged)
have i posted my action yet?
I don't know, find it if you have, it'll simplify things a bit later...
I assume Evonix has enough people that those 49 guys aren't going to make or break him...
49 Old cultists: Kill GORT(I thought he died)
1 old cultist: find puff and wave at him.
500 Cultists: Fix and upgrade the base (Add some lightning rods... and landmines).
100 Cultists and lightly armed cultists: Kill the inquisitors then guard the base when you are done.
100 Cultists: Fix the smelter and make some guns if you have time after, give the guns to the guards.
10 Hallucinating cultists: Make a toy for puff-puff.("and will probably never have anything" is just so depressing)
The rest: Finish the paperwork and fire the nuke at Unescargot.
Anthaju you are lucky I didn't tell my hallucinating cultists that your pyramid is a really nice toilet to use.
Kill Gort: [1] He's dead, they just run up and kick the dusty, desiccated corpse around until his mummies arrive and turn them all into mummies as well. (49 old cultists turned into mummies)
Say hi to puff puff: [2] He can't find puff puff, where did he go?
Fix/upgrade base: [2] Every time they try to fix a part of the base, another part falls over. Dammit, these were supposed to be easy repairs! How can ALL of you be failing at this?
attack inquisitors: [4] They attack the inquisitors and it's a massacre on both sides, the inquisitors with their guns pick off most of the cultists sent after them, but the cultists manage to break through and get them. (-45 inquisitors, -60 cultists, -30 lightly armed cultists)
fix smelter: [5] They fix the smeltery perfectly and manage to get guns for about half the people working (50 cultists armed, smeltery fixed)
Make a toy for puff puff: [4] They stitch together a small plush toy in the shape of Puff puff. It's adorable and huggable. They run past the flying elephants and dead guards before leaving the toy on the sandbox Puff puff uses as a bed and fleeing into the night. (Puff puff now has a plush toy)
fire nuke: [3] They manage to get access to a supply of gunpowder, so they can finally make explosives again, but no nukes for you. (gunpowder access regained)
Inquisitors: be dead
[irrelevant] They succeed in being dead.
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Topic: RTD horrors (Read 232782 times)