Wait, was that supposed to be a bad thing?
Cultists: Recruit! My luck can't be any worse... can it?
Mummies: Replace the guys that died in the inquisitor invasion!
Assassins 25: Collect metal powder and turn it into the required paint!
Rest of em: If we have metal powder paint, Go drag TROG's body to the Tavern Wench Rosabel and do the ritual! If not, go get it!
Since alcohol is a non-ancient invention, and that Tavern Wench is insane Rosabel is peace loving, and Trog wants the destruction of humanity, this should make it so we easily dispatch another crazy horror fairly easily!
Of course this could also go horribly wrong and I apologize in advance for the death Tavern Trog potentially does unto on the world.
((I meant alcohol wasn't an invention during the prehistoric times, when cavemen ruled the earth.
Trog's goal IS different from mine, y'know. But I will change my action anyway, so whatever.))
((Trog's dead so he wouldn't be able to voice an opinion (the ritual can't bring the dead back to life I'm afraid, just give the living their powers) and Rosabel hasn't been summoned, but Unescargot + Rabe would probably be hilarious, or you could combine yourself with Trog for time distortion... Or try to combine KONG with literally anyone, since he is so disagreeable... Also before anyone calls me on it, I'm aware that "cavemen" aren't actually "ancestors" of humans, but I'm letting it slide for the sake of the game))
You decide to take a break this turn, you've been working hard and your cultists can probably handle this turn themselves... right?
recruit: [6] they get some people to join you and your mummies stand around groaning and not contributing in any way. Some people get freaked out and decide you must be the bad guy because of those shambling corpses following you around. (+50 cultists, +50 inquisitors)
paint making: [4] They find enough metal to make the paint but don't have time to grind it into powder this turn (metal acquired)
BRING OUT YER DEAD: [2] They get scared and run back when they see KONG.
Inquisitors: arm yourselves
[6] They find a large dam located uphill from your base. Some of the inquisitors get angry at the long trek and leave (inquisitors have a dam, -50 inquisitors)
50 Cultists: Use the guns to finish off gort.
Lightly armed cultists: Guard and get better gear.
100 Cultists: Repair the smeltery and make some more guns.
50 Cultists: Repair anthaju's (The pyramid person if I spelled it wrong) base.
1 Cultist: Gently blow in Puff-puff's general direction (-1 FTW).
40 Recognisable cultists and 50 others: Fix PR and say it's all thunder and lightning guy's fault.
100 Cultists and me: Study orb's properties to find a cheap way to travel through the same dimension and/or a way to make more.
9 Cultists: Do sudoku.
Rest of them and the 10 cultists in high places: Use connections to get nuke then build somthing to launch it at the cloud guy(AND FIRE IT).
FINISH HIM: [6] You don't have any guns, but they charge in and beat him down. The dust and sand sprays everywhere and his mummies are... well, not interested in the slightest actually... The cultists get aged by his aura. (GORT is dead, 50 cultists now old)
guard: [1] They laze about instead of guarding and some of them decide they're sick of your uppity attitude. A kitten deciding what they do all day? Screw that! (-20 lightly armed cultists)
repair smeltery: [2] They feel nervous about using a welding torch to fix the smelter, wouldn't want to leave a seam where the molten metal would pour out. They leave it be for now.
Doing anthaju a favor: [4] They scurry over and plaster up the holes in Anthaju's pyramid. (Anthaju's Pyramid fixed)
Fuck off, Puff puff!: [6] He runs over to Puff puff and blows on him. Puff puff scatters into dust, he'll recover but he won't be doing much for the turn. Also, your cultist got covered in dust and carried it back into your base. It gets on the sudoku guys. (10 cultists hallucinating, Puff puff dissipated)
Blame it on Unescargot: [3] They get on their youtube accounts and blame all the bad things you did on Unescargot. Some people believe you, but most don't. Of course, the fact that nobody knew about the bad things you did makes the change seem pretty lateral. (mixed PR)
Study: [1] They study the orb and accidentally set off the lightning trap. All you find is a pile of ashes when you check on them. (-100 cultists)
PUZZLES!: [4] They complete a bunch of the puzzles. It doesn't change much. (Several sudokus finished)
Acquire nuke (no fire, there's no time for that with this many people): [2] They can't get the papers done to get access to a nuke. Jeez, at this rate it would be easier just to steal the damn thing...
Inquisitors: smash the smeltery
[2] That base looks a bit solid, better hold back until someone else breaks through...
Turn 12 actions:
Koshu: telepathicly compel Puff-Puff to spread dust throughout Unescargot's base.
cultists: wash away the dust. If that does not take too long, recruit.
Koshu: [irrelevant] He's been dissipated, he's not taking orders right now.
washy washy dust: [3] Some of them get the dust off themselves, but others resist because they think the water is magma (half of cultists no longer hallucinating)
Inquisitors: Ruin the spaceship components
[4] They attack the outer wall of your defenses. their numbers and weapons manage to break a hole, but your cultists drive them off before they get to your stuff (defenses breached)
ME USE MY TOTALLY EXISTANT ELDRITH POWERS TO ELIMNATE THE TROGDOR THREAT TO MY BANANANBNNSNanSNANNASNsNSNSNAsnsnNSAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
goers: use your relatively stable mental state to console DF carp that trog won't steal your BANANASNNNANSNnSBNBSNanasdbABSNAbsnasbnasnasnasnSNABsanbsnsnAnSNBSNBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANyTHAInINg i HAvE THe SLIIIIghtEEstttt COnTRorRL OVOer: PPLEEEead TROG to TURN DF CarP bAck TO A SAne plAAin OOOOLd CArP
(( i don't care if trog is dead or not i've kind of lost track of that))
Kill TROG: [irrelevant] Trog is already dead, but you are so insane you forget that you don't have powers and try to turn him into carp. It doesn't work, but you now see his corpse as a mass of carp. (thinks TROG is carp)
console: [5] GOEAR whispers in eldritch tongue that TROG is no longer a threat. Oddly soothing for a voice that literally sounds like 300 people screaming as they die. It calms you down a bit. One might even say you've regained control of your mind. GOEAR is still bleeding out. (GOEAR dies at the end of the turn, DF CARP calmed down)
Beg for help: [irrelevant] Your nothing tries to get the pile of carp to turn you back. It doesn't work.
Journalist hirelings: write awesome articles about how I plan to fix the drought in California and Texas!
Me: Bombard Koshu's cult with lightning.
Puff Puff: Fill Rabe's cult with magic powders!
8 politician cultists: Fix my PR!
5 wealthy cultists: Hire good engineers, archetects, and construction workers to build a new fortress, still deadly!
other 5 wealthy cultists: Hire legendary scholars to follow up on the power swap ritual!
70 cultists: Recruit generics for my cult!
50 cultists: There's nothing to guard really... be trained!
3 veterans: Train the 50 cultists in combat!
50 cultists: Help build my fortress!
Anyone I may have forgotten: Recruit more generics for my cult!
PR: [5] They write rave comments and spread the word about how awesome you are. You go from hated to merely "misunderstood". Suckers. (moderately bad PR)
LIGHTNING PARTY: [3] You blast Some of Koshu's cultists with lightning. Turns out the lightning doesn't arc quite like you thought it would. (Koshu loses 50 cultists)
Puff puff: [irrelevant] He's unable to recieve orders at this time, please call back after the beep *beep*
Hire things: [6] They get a bunch of people to work for you. The workers build a base with spikes everywhere and read through that book, finding you some amazing information about how you can switch abilities with someone else, at the cost of some of your cultists' lives. You quickly discover that the people you hired aren't trustworthy when your wealthy cultists lose all their money. The workers are gone too. (cultists no longer wealthy, base with malevolent architecture built, power swap ritual researched)
recruit: [5] They spread the word of your power and get many to join you. (+140 cultists)
train: [4] The veterans work double time to get these scrubs into shape. They get the cultists a bit better trained than before. (50 cultists trained)
((There's nobody else))
Inquisitor hirelings: demolish this base!
[3] The demolishers approach the fortress and tear a hole in the wall, but have to leave when the cultists chase them away. (fortress damaged)
High places inquisitors: recruit
[6] They recruit a bunch of people to help them, but there is a backlash that brings more cultists as well. (+50 inquisitors, +50 cultists)
Wealthy guys: hire scholars to research you
[1] They hire some people to help, but they take all their money and don't help. (wealthy inquisitors no longer wealthy)
Other guys: destroy the book
[1] They try to creep in to destroy the book but the fortress' reckless design ends up making several of them get gored on spikes. (-50 inquisitors)
((I think that's all of the ones that have been posted...))