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[Lyeos]

Granted. Everything is schoolwork now, and must be finished before you are allowed to go home.

I wish Kevak was online so I could bug him.

[TamerVirus]

Granted, but you are accelerated into adulthood and must do the much worse officework.

Granted, but now you have no internet

I wish for the ability to manipulate time

[Varee]

Granted but you can only go to the worst moment of your life.
I wish that the sun isnt so hot

[JackOSpades]

 Granted the sun goes out, congratulations do you even know how expensive a replacement bulb for that is? 

I wish I were the very model of a modern major General...

[Lyeos]

Granted. You are now a mannequin dressed like a modern day version of some major general from WWI.

I wish this was more of a crapsack world.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. We now live on a giant sack filled with random crap.

I wish I knew everything about RPG Maker that there is to know.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You use this knowledge to make uninspired Pokemon and Final Fantasy clones.

I wish I had RPG maker.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You have an old, crappy version of it.

I wish I would be burned alive.

[TD1]

Granted. No need to corrupt this. Enjoy. Oh, also, the burning will go on for the rest of your natural life, which as a bonus I'm not allowing you to end.

I wish the T.V. never screened ads.

[TamerVirus]

Granted, but now there are ads everywhere else, including whenever you close your eyes

I wish for the courage of a lion

[~Neri]

Granted. Everything is schoolwork now, and must be finished before you are allowed to go home.

I wish Kevak was online so I could bug him.

Granted, he is on an hour later then you wanted. He also points at the link under his name as an easier way to contact him when he is on his computer (Aka not for an hour or two cause phone/grocery shopping. Should be someone to talk to on there though, probably several.)

Granted, you have the courage of the cowardly lion.

I wish for Doge.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Wow. Such nobility. Many antiquated title.

I wish for SPECIAL EYES.

[TD1]

Granted. Descan virus is now leaking out of your eyes again. Very special.

I wish I were a super hero.

[Lyeos]

Granted! Your only power is to summon two moths to help distract your foes. They don't work well against anything but kittens.

I wish I had HugoLuman's eyes in a jar.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You were a superhero, but now you're not and you still have many enemies.

Granted. The jar burst from the amount of Descans, and the glass gets in your eyes.

I wish I had a lawyer.