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[flame99]

Nothing is a concept, and therefore nothing is something. You are now nothing.

I wish to destroy the entire world.

[wer6]

Granted, coincidentally, you teleported into space, and you destroy the entirety of the world of you!

I wish to be one of the most bad ass Cthulhu gods there is.

[RAM]

?You are the god of bad asses, many an investigator has been knocked by a pack animal and plummeted to their early demise while trekking to a remote location on account of your machinations. But really, most folk find the concept of you to be sort of humorous...

I wish for life to be a zero-sum equation.

[flame99]

Granted. Food and housing prices skyrocket, so all but the most wealthy die of starvation. Those that are wealthy enough then lose their money due to none of the poorer employees existing. This leads to them being unable to afford food and housing, causing them to die off. Those that run the food and housing companies stop making money because there aren't many customers, and it's too expensive to buy off of one another, leading to the collapse of the companies, and the starvation of the humans who don't know how to forage, hunt, or farm, and eventually even they will die out in the world. This leads to no humans, no money, and therefore, no profit or loss, making the world a zero-sum equation.

I wish that nothing bad would happen as a result from this wish.

[wer6]

Granted, however the word "bad" definition is changed into the word "good", you melt.

I wish to be A Cthulhu god

[flame99]

You have become the god of Cthulu. However, you only have one subject, and he's asleep, so you fade into nothing.

I wish that I could shoot fireballs from my hands without hurting myself, and be immune to fire.

[wer6]

Granted, however you were teleported to Antarctica, and theres A angry polar bear with A +10 fire resistance coming at you....

I wish to have A Holy ghiant spectral spider to ride on.

[flame99]

Granted. In order to ride spectral things, you must be a ghost, so you have been killed and stopped from reaching the Afterlife.

I wish that polar bear lost fire resistance.

[Aseaheru]

GraNted. You have received a magical robot who keeps asking you why you want that. However, it has no cold resistance.

I wish for foodstuffs.

[flame99]

I...Wait, what? Why a magical robot?

[Aseaheru]

I was trying to think of a way to ask "Please state reason".

[wer6]

Granted, you get the most delicate, irresistible  food ever, as you eat mounds and mounds of it, you gain hundred of pounds after you ate the thousands of food stuffs, until eventually A starving assassin kills you and steals all of your delicious food!

I wish for A giant holy spider that is my pet, and is ridable, and also breathes fire.

[Aseaheru]

Granted. However, it also only eats humans.

I wish for my scalp to stop itching without killing me somehow.

[flame99]

Granted. Your scalp continues itching and is now eating your brains.

I wish I had a wish that was incorruptable.

[wer6]

Granted, however you can only wish one thing, and that is to become insane by A man painted orange saying pumpkin over and over.

I wish for Flameboy99 to become insane by A man painted orange saying pumpkin over and over.