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[RAM]

The thread gets moving. It moves all the way to TVtropes...

I wish to be corrosive to reality.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Where ever you are doesn't exist. So you stop existing, as you are no where.

I wish for a weaponized spoon/fork hybrid that I control.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, though the table knife still makes a better weapon.

I wish for motivation.

[RAM]

You are motivated, to walk. You walk for the rest of your life. You walk while talking, you walk while eating, you walk while sleeping, you walk while driving, you walk while swimming, you walk when you are riding an elevator, you walk while you are flying in a plane, you walk while you are skydiving, you walk while you are trying to get a better view down into the grand canyon...

I wish to be a perpetual energy device.

[wer6]

Granted, however, it is connected to A Device that eats infiante energy to make Small amounts of candy, if you disconnect it, you stop the energy machine, enjoy!

[CyberUrist]

I wish, I wish for a fish. I wish for a fish on a fish-wish dish. That lets me wish for more fish on fish-wish dishes.

[SOLDIER First]

and then, the fish was soooooooooooo ugly, everyone died.
I wish dwarves weren't such goddamned idiots.

[wer6]

Granted, Elves are now the playable species, and there dumber then Dwarfs,before there smart upgrade

I wish for A burger in A can

EDIT: wishy.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Instead of Burger A in Can A you find Burger A in Can B and an Elder-God within Can A's confines.

I wish for Anti-Kaiju Missiles

[SOLDIER First]

Instead you get anti-Jukai missiles.
I wish for a pony.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You get a pony. It can fit in the palm of your hand and it's made of plastic.

I wish for a (Real) turtle.

[flame99]

You get a custom, turtle-shaped sex doll in the mail, with "RealTurtle" emblazoned on the packaging.

I wish for a better keyboard.

[SOLDIER First]

You get a keyboard in the shape of an ocarina.
Good luck trying to play it.

I wish for a kitty.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. However, it only eats human flesh.

I wish my DF Cephalopods would work properly.

[SOLDIER First]

Granted.
And then they use crossbows to reenact Squidward's Suicide.
I wish my kitty didn't eat human flesh.