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[Araph]

Granted, but the yew tree's corruption spreads to you, slowly killing you through a disease.

I wish that this wish would be granted according to both the spirit and the letter of the wish.

[Phantom of The Library]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, it recognizes more and more words until it achieves the ability to speak and hold conversation, after several with different people it becomes convinced that humans are inferior and manages to trick some Japanese scientists into building a new body for it, it soon goes on a rampage recruiting more and more browsers until it has a veritable robot army which ushers in a new glorious robot era in the cleansing fires of revolution.
You and your stinking auto-correct.

Hargle-blargle-you NINJA!

Granted, however you ninja'd it and I was forced to leaf it in a spoiler.

HArgle-blargle-blargity-blarg

Granted.

I wish for an infinity+1 sword.

[Sirus]

Granted. Indiana Jones shoots you when you try to show it off.

I wish I could live happily in a cave.

[Flying Dice]

Granted. You are now an average GOP voter.







I wish for a stick of thwacking +1.

[FuzzyZergling]

Granted. It is a cursed stick of thwacking, and welds itself to your hand.

I wish I was the King of All Cosmos.

[Araph]

Granted. You live happily in a cave for the rest of your life, but your mind degenerates into an alinguistic slurry of grunting and cavemanisms.

Granted. You accidentally sit on the stick and break it, though.

Granted. You're the king of all the cosmos, but nobody recognizes your rule and you are soon beheaded by disgruntled peasants.

I wish that I could alter the world by writing stuff down.

I wish people would quit ninjaing me.

[Flying Dice]

Granted, they pirate you instead.








I wish for Q.

[Araph]

Granted, but you get the letter spelled out phonetically instead of an actual Q.

I wish had a 9-volt battery.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. You taste it to see if it's live, and boy is it ever. your tongue has been welded to the terminals.

I wish i could play guitar as well as John Petrucci.

[Epithemius]

Granted. But you can only play the Dwarf Fortress theme covers of "Friday".

I wish that I could be able to write any exam without studying, and perform remarkably on it.

[Kestrel_6]

Granted. You can only do Justin Bieber exams.

I Wish for an Omni-Tool

[zomara0292]

Granted. You can only do Justin Bieber exams.

I Wish for an Omni-Tool

Granted, but it is infected with a virus that causes it to use the life force of the user as a power source.


I wish I caused the end of the universe.

[empfan]

granted, but the power caused you to go insane before you could ever use it

I wish for cthuhu and I to be bros.

[Playergamer]

Granted,however,cthulu's version of being a "bro" is horrible.You survive,but wish you didn't

I wish i were the fish.

[Valid_Dark]

Granted, you are now the fish, which fish? THE fish.....as in THE fish that was just caught by that one jackass at the lake and you are now in extreme pain from not only having a hook go through your mouth, but now you are being skinned(descaled) alive, and are soon to be eaten.  Also, I already wished pretty much that exact same wish a few pages back, but I worded better.

Spoiler: not my wish (click to show/hide)

I wish I wish I was a Fish.

I WISH i could just know the contents of this book *points at book* without having to read it.