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[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it causes you to die the pleasant death of dying in your sleep.

I wish I could change size at will without negative effects to myself, and being invincible when small.

[Greatness942]

Granted! You are, however, not invincible when big. New York City, thinking you are a Kaiju, pulls a Gulliver's Travels on your ass by tying you up, then presenting you as a target for the fat child in charge of North Korea to vent his frustrations.

I wish I could take over Ireland like I always joke I will.

[pikachu17]

You are capable of this. Like everyone else on the planet. But nobody, including you, WANTS to do this.

I wish I had a puppy.

[Maximum Spin]

wait I want to take over Ireland (also everywhere else)

Granted. You now own a Puppyguard. It can change size at will without negative effects to itself, and is invincible when small, but not when big, so eventually it gets killed by a North Korean nuclear warhead and falls over onto you, crushing you.

I wish to rule the galaxy with an iron fist.

[pikachu17]

You rule the galaxy with your co-ruler An Iron Fist. He betrays you.

I wish more quotes from here would end up on The Out of Context thread.

[GigaGiant]

Granted. People are not that impressed though.

I wish I could have the last 30 minutes of my life back.

[Pearofclubs]

Granted!
Thirty minutes of your life immediately prior to making the wish is refunded, causing you to grow thirty minutes younger.
And then it begins to repeat, since the offending thirty minutes no longer exist. You rapidly deage as your family and friends watch on in horror, until you disappear from sight, having become an ovum again. And then nothing.

I wish I didn't have to do the dishes.

Also:

I wish I'd get a satisfactory answer to the question of "What would constitute a pleasant death?"

Imagine being spoon fed advocaat custard, and being massaged gently by an attractive member of whatever sex you're into in a hot tub until you fall asleep and gently fade away.

[pikachu17]

You don't have to wash the dishes, because you are now dead, so people wouldn't ask you to wash dishes. Also, dishes no longer exist, anyway.

I wish I was awesome.

[MoonyTheHuman]

You are awesome. You are so awesome the moon wanted to meet you in person. RIP Earth, mmm?

[Paxiecrunchle]

Moony you have made a grave error, by failing to to wish for anything you have allocated the opportunity of of granting the prior wish to me and your response and future responses are henceforth invalid, have a nice day.

Pikachu17; You are now the most amazzing and poular being in the world soon a crowd of about 2 milion huans congregates around you, they push and shove to get closer and within minutes you have suffocated under tons of human flesh and caused many casualities as more people attempt to ''rescue'' your corpse.

From that day forward your memory is seared in infamy.

I wish I had the best job in the world.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you become my personal servant. you receive the job of 'tv watcher'. You sit there watching channels. you are paid millions for every show you watch, but only if you never take your eyes off the screen. You are pumped full of nutrients and sit there, growing fatter and fatter wondering why you got this job.
(by best I assumed you meant 'best paying'?)

I wish for paxie to get a free cookie.

[pikachu17]

There is now only one job in the world, and you have it. It is pole dancing.

I wish I was in a better world than one in which the only job is pole dancing. Ninja'd!

Paxie gets a free cookie. On the playground, from a creepy guy in a van. He is kidnapped.

I wish that I hadn't been Ninja'd.

[Greatness942]

Granted! You get Samurai'd instead. Bright side, you got killed by a Samurai, so it's all good.

I wish I could become Supreme Shogunate of the Samurai who killed pikachu17.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but you are slain by an assassin days later, sent by a rival clan.

I wish for paxie to be rescued from the creepy guy in the van.

[AzyWng]

Granted, but the kidnapper happened to cross borders into another country, where his kidnapping ring is set up.

The operation to destroy the ring and rescue the victims winds up causing an international incident involving what is or isn't a valid cause to send armed SWAT units into another nation.

Also, in the rescue operation itself, several of the victims are killed in the fighting, including paxie.

I wish international politics was easier to understand.