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[Puppyguard]

Granted, you're included. A Feebas war soon follows and humanity is enslaved by their Feebas overlords.
Ninja'd!

Granted, you now make wishes that involve me getting cookies with negative ivs and a horrible nature.

I wish for psionic powers with no negative effects on me.

[pikachu17]

Granted, but the Psionic powers have "positive" effects on you, like making smile all the time. Instead of eating, or drinking. You die of thirst.

I wish for a Macarena & Cheese.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it also includes macerated pichu parts. You can't seem to find yours either.

I wish for someone else than pikachu17 to grant this wish.

[Lenglon]

Granted, but:

I wish for pikachu17 to grant this wish.

[Stirk]

Granted, but he has to skip me to do it.

I wish Pikachu17 wouldn't skip me.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted; pikachu17 doesn't skip you, I do instead. Then pikachu17's pichu sneaks up behind you — oh, hey, there it is! see, it was fine the whole time — and shocks you to death.

I wish pikachu17 was a pachirisu.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, however, those Pikachus had to go somewhere and they have now leaked into the real world causing widespread havoc for a few hours before they dematerialize.

I wish that I could take peoples misery away, thus causing happiness to spread at a cost to myself.

[Maximum Spin]

You are transformed into a large quantity of heroin. Everyone agrees this makes you a hero. Also, technically, a religion.

I wish to know what is the cannabinoid of the masses.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. The universe twists and turns and the information comes to you in a lightning bolt:
YOUR FLESH!!!

You are eaten alive for 'happiness'.

I wish for a regular cookie.

[Dunamisdeos]

You receive one cookie. It is as regular as possible, with no flavor or sugar. It is neither crispy nor soft. Indeed, it is the most generic of all baked objects.

I wish for the most unusual cookie.

[Puppyguard]

You receive a cookie made out of Maximum spin's flesh. It is most unusual.

I wish for superpowers.

[Maximum Spin]

You get a twisted, writhing, hate-filled infernal hellcookie made of flesh and souls. It is the only cookie in the world like it, and aren't we all lucky for that. You have to eat it now, you know. Don't worry, its screams are merely performative.
Never mind, you get the power of making cookies exactly like the one described above, from every orifice. Constantly.

I wish for something pleasant.

[TalonisWolf]

You enjoy a pleasant death. It's surprisingly relaxing, actually.

I wish for an immunity to corrupted wishes.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but only once, and only if you sing the entire alphabet backwards while screaming AAA_aaaaaaaaaaa at the top of your lungs in public.

I wish for the power to stop time without being frozen myself, but still be able to reactivate it

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You gain this power, but, whenever you use it, time is passing for you, so you die of old age after using the power too much. Didn't Nickelodeon do this already?

I wish for the power to travel through time arbitrarily.