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[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, International politics become much easier to understand once Kazakhstan conquers one half of the world and the other becomes controlled extraterrestrial invaders who helped Kazakhstan with the last bit.


I wish I had self-repairing and cleaning clothing, that is not sentient and does not devour its wearer or anything similar.

[pikachu17]

Granted. It just sets itself on fire, thus "cleaning" any contaminants, then repairs the fire damage.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Pikachu, why on earth did you not make a wish? I cannot grant my own wish, you know.

[Puppyguard]

I wish that if someone forgets to make a wish something hilarious happens to them.

[pikachu17]

I am hit by an anvil.

I wish I didn't keep forgetting to make a wish.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. Every time we see you do that, we send you this as shock therapy:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The therapy was successful.

I wish I had the PAWOAR!!

[Paxiecrunchle]

Error; Wish ungrantable, Under section c of page 207 of the Rent-a-Genie code of conduct, y'now the one that says that wishes the require the altering of biology to function that doesn't actually mention altering biology cannot be granted as is.

I wish the worlds human population was more genetically diverse and 50 percent less racist, via altering biology.

Granted, you are now named Pawoar Pawoar, thus giving you more ''Pawoar''.

My wish remains the same.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but in a humorous twist of fate we are wiped out by racist aliens.

I wish to be a rubber ducky.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, You are a completely normal rubber ducky however none of your friends or family know what happened to you, and they suffer horribly being unable to fix thins in anyway aside from assuming that you were murdered rather than you having committed suicide by becoming an inanimate, and thus non-living,non-sapient object for no discernable reason. This gives several police departments headaches.

I wish that my more diverse, less racist humanity was undetectable by extraterrestrial life.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, they're detected by terrestrial life that have come from another reality looking for slaves.

I wish I possessed my Rubber Ducky and haunted bathrooms for eternity.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, but your haunted duck can only function on an active level when people are fourteen or more feet away from it. thus you only can only haunt particularly large bathrooms or those already abandoned additionally for the purposes of this wish bathrooms are defined as rooms where people actually bathe, thus making many public rooms called ''bathrooms'' unavailable to you.

I wish that benevolent extraterrestrials visit humanity and help out as best they can.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, they intend to help Humanity but in their attempts to help us theirBizarre and uncomprehensible values end up causing more harm than good. It doesn't help that they are electrovores and can't understand why humans die when they try to feed us.

On an totally unrelated note, I wish I could consume electrical energy.

[TheDarkStar]

Spoiler: my way to grant Paxie's last wish that I didn't have time to post (click to show/hide)

Granted. The extraterrestrials are very benevolent and do their best. Unfortunately they're also completely incompetent at this. Their solution to world hunger, crime, and war is to render every living human unconscious and put them on IV drips while they try to figure out how to resolve longer-term issues like all the unconscious humans dying of old age/health issues associated with not moving.

On an totally unrelated note, I wish I could consume electrical energy.

Granted. Unfortunately this also applies to the electrostatic interactions that occur during chemical reactions, so you immediately stop breathing (muscles stop), your cells stop respiring (those reactions stop), and you stop thinking (the energy from neurons transmitting signals is absorbed).

I wish for ice cream.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted. You milked an ice cube for ice milk which you then turn to ice cream, which goes well with ice tea.

I wish I was less sadistic in my wish granting.

[CABL]

Granted. You're not-so sadistic anymore. In fact, you're so "not sadistic", that the other genies like me laugh at you, and call you "The Soft One".

I wish to have something completely stupid and ridiculous, but completely awesome. Like, "Super Strong Death Metal Ninja Space Pirate Dolphins".