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[Dunamisdeos]

You arbitrarily travel through time at intervals that are not of your own choosing. Also, I arbitrarily choose to make it to that you can only travel to points and places in the life of Bobby Flay.

I wish to be able to travel through time in a completely non-arbitrary fashion.

[Maximum Spin]

You may now travel through time in the very specific and regular fashion of travelling forward at a rate of one second per second.
If that sounds like a bad deal, just be glad you're not the guy who travels forward at the rate of two seconds per second.

I wish for the power to travel through space.

[Stirk]

Granted! That power was in you all along! That is to say, you can move through space normally as a normal person does.

I wish to be able to bottle motivation.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted! You bottle all your motivation. You are no longer motivated to do anything. You could easily drink (?) the bottled motivation to regain it, but you just don't feel motivated to. You asphyxiate within seconds.

I wish for pennies from heaven TO FALL AND KILL MY FOES.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, but they also hit you and severely cripple you additionally, the tons of falling copper has killed many people near your enemies, that is there was quite a bit of collateral damage, and now because of your wish as overheard, you have many new enemies. Have fun.

I wish people stopped being afraid of clowns.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. Now clowns have the utmost form of power in the world. They gain magical powers and the ability to enslave others simply by looking at them. Because no one can fear them, they easily make their way to conquer the earth.

I wish the clowns would be scary again.

[Greatness942]

Granted! They are now cannibalistic ax murderers obsessed with killing everyone you love until you are all that's left. And then they either kill you, or force you to file your taxes. Whichever's scarier.

I wish the Overwatch community would stop being so toxic.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Everyone in the Overwatch community is converted into Guaranteed Nontoxic 100% Polymer Ooze. Also, everyone outside the Overwatch community. Except me and you. You're only half-converted, but you still have a normal head so I can kick you in the face forever.

I wish for spiky face-kicking boots.

[AzyWng]

You enjoy a pleasant death. It's surprisingly relaxing, actually.

Wait, what would constitute a pleasant death?

Not shitting/pissing yourself?

Anyway, the face-kicking boots one day kick you. You lose your eyes, your good looks, and a pint or two of blood.

I wish people would learn to chill the fuck out.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. Everyone freezes to death! What were you expecting?

I wish to stay warm, but not too warm.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. The world freezes over and you are left alone as the last sentient being on earth.

I wish to be able to speak at fast speeds.

[Stirk]

Granted! You are able to speak at the speed of sound! Somehow, nobody is impressed by how fast your words travel.

I wish for light-speed bullets.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You receive bullets that travel at the speed of light! Unfortunately, they're massless as a necessary corollary, so they don't actually serve much purpose.

I wish for more.

[Puppyguard]

Granted. You get more kicks to the face from spiky boots.

I wish I was giant.

[AzyWng]

You wind up growing huge almost instantly and wind up destroying your own property, your neighbor's property, and your neighbors. You also can't get enough food to eat or water to drink, not to mention the fact that every step you take you wind up breaking more stuff.

I wish I'd get a satisfactory answer to the question of "What would constitute a pleasant death?"