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[Corai]

You fail so badly that the teacher just lets you pass.

I wish that the letter 'y' was replaced with 'i'

[P(ony)SI]

Wish granted.
With a largeli-used letter no longer in the English language, it falls apart because grammar nazis all over the world (in other words, America) have no clue whi everibodi insists on replacing i with i. The grammar nazis thus eventualli start the Third Rich and declare war against everi countri in the world with English as its primari language. The other nations in the world get caught up in the struggle, and the war turns into WWIII. Nuclear weapons are used, and everibodi dies.
All because iou wanted to kill a letter.

I wish that it was impossible to corrupt this wish and that there wouldn't be any paradoxes accompanying this wish due to the nature of players corrupting wishes.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Fortunately, genies don't operate within the bounds of 'possible' and instead of getting an incorruptible wish, you get a poodle who poofs into existence just in time for it to piddle all over your head. You then cease to exist because the genie retroactively makes you into that poodle and your paradoxical print upon space-time is expunged forever. Your self-piddling & subsequent expunging is the last entry in the 'you' record of the 10th-dimensional time-keepers, to exist forever, bound into the fabric of the unending universe.

I wish for everyone to understand my plethora inside jokes.

[intelligentmoron]

Granted, everyone understands them and finds them universally unfunny.

I wish for some whiskey.

[RAM]

It gives you whiskers! They are floating in it! They mysteriously appear in your mouth randomly for the rest of your life!

I wish for a pet comet.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You don't even get to name him before he piddles all over the earth runs away.

I wish for eagle-vision.

[Vgray]

Granted. Enjoy life as an eagle.

I wish for an FTL capable spaceplane.

[RAM]

It is composed of F.T.L. substance. You are composed of S.T.L. substance and therefore cannot catch it, or indeed interact with it in any other meaningful way that you would want...

I wish for the power to summon giant feet to step on people.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. The heel is centered over you so it crushes you as well.

I wish that I didn't have to obey the laws of physics.

[Komra]

Granted. In addition to forever/currently/always have been/being pursued by the Time Police, your violations of entropy, gravity, and conservation of energy all contribute to potentially cataclysmic fluctuations in the Sun's core. You are relegated to maintaining the nuclear reaction's integrity for the rest of your unnatural life.

I wish that I was much better at translating Latin into English and vice versa.

[Carzak]

Granted, too bad your a parlized mute who cant read and is stuck in an old time russian hosbital for life where both are rarely if ever spoken, but hey if some one speaks latin you'll be able to tanslate it to english!

I wish i could think clear enough to be able to write a descriptive story, and not a bunch of words that only i can understand.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, but anyone who attempts to read the book goes insane from clarity.

I wish that I had the ability to become a dragon.

[Inithis]

Granted, but due to a dragon's compressed brain size you lose all your memories and go completely insane. The government hunts you down shortly after, kills you, and puts you in the Smithsonian.

[Komra]

(On the bright side, you get to be an exhibit in the Smithsonian- a rare honor!)

I wish for cake.

[Remuthra]

It's pineapple with coconut frosting.

I wish the decimal system was manipulated by changing its basic function from y=x to y=x-1, but everyone and everything instantly converted to the new system, and nobody noticed.