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[Remuthra]

Granted. You are diagnosed with arcanaphobia, and are frequently haunted by nightmares of wishing wells. It gets so bad you avoid the outside world entirely, for fear of Lucky Charms.

I wish I no longer had the ability to corrupt wishes.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You are banned from the forums.

I wish to control the fourth dimension.

[SoHowAreYou]

Congrats you can only move it forward, for yourself, and you can't slow down.

I wish for a monkeys paw

[squiddwarf16]

Granted. Its cursed and you slowly turn into a monkey without any paws.

I wish for peas on earth.

[Devling]

The Portable Easy Asskicker revolutionizes war.

I wish for more wishes. Which are pure.

[Remuthra]

Granted. All your future wishes are pure nonsense.

I wish for the Necronomicon.

[SoHowAreYou]

Cthulu lies on his weight so he can have you for a snack

I wish for a world without bad movies

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. The government establishes a harsh new agency whose sole purpose is the rating of movies. 'Bad' movies are punished with DEATH. 'Good' movies are rewarded with government contracts to make MOAR 'Good' movies.

I wish the genie who grants my wish would immediately stop being such a douche.

[Agent of Avarice]

Granted! The genie decides to be an ass instead. Thanks for ruining my wish -_-

I wish Team Sonic would get their act together and make a 3d Sonic Game worth playing.

[RAM]

It is the best Frisbee ever! But you have nobody to throw it to...

I wish to go to sleep and wake up a thousand years in much the same condition that I was in when I went to sleep.

[SoHowAreYou]

Granted, you wake up not at all acclimated to the Fallout like conditions.

I wish to know why bad movies are made

[RAM]

Because bad people watch them. How do you know that they are bad...

I wish to know the name, rank, and serial number of whomever replies to this.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Sir!
Bay Watcher GrizzlyAdamz!
Serial Number 7222010111832!

I wish for a roast leg of bear.

[RAM]

A boar from a bar bares a bear for your beer then bears for the bar. The bear boasts of the toast from the coast with most of the stoats in coats(your hosts) and their roasts. You beg for an eeg from one you peg as a Meg but the egg's not to regs so you're fed with a leg from the bear that's now dead...

I wish for a 'colourful' expression.

[Gentlefish]

Imagination!

I wish I pass my calculus test tomorrow without cheating.