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[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. Snakes turn out to be serially treacherous.

I wish everyone was eternally happy, healthy, and so forth.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. We get bored. Time to fetch the suicide axe!

I wish for a velociraptor to ride around like a horse. No, it cannot eat me.

[Sirus]

It does not eat you. However, it turns out that Velociraptors are sentient, and your "pet" murders you for enslaving it.

I wish that everyone in the world had clean water to drink.

[pisskop]

Granted, Water can be purified with a modified rain dance.  However you must sacrifice a leg of goat to the god(s) in order to do so, exasperating the food crisis many face.

I wish to learn about the 4th and 5th dimensions, how they work, and the dynamics of it; including any 'life' present.

[Vorthon]

Granted. You can now perceive time as a physical thing, and some heretofore unknown component of the universe. Your puny mortal mind is overloaded by the utterly alien sensory data. Have fun being a babbling loony!

I wish I could shapeshift.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. You can't really control it however, and at the first scare you get you shapeshift into someone who's not a shapeshifter.

...You also wet your pants a bit from shapeshifting, but that's beside the point.

I wish mankind would hurry up and develop more effective methods of space travel and get on with colonizing other planets already.

[Hanslanda]

Granted it only takes us three hundred years instead of a thousand to develop FTL.

I wish I was a shapeshifter that had full control over their powers.

[kaijyuu]

Granted, but you can only shapeshift into various Persian rugs.


I wish. Not for anything; just wishing to wish.

[Hanslanda]

Granted. You get something. A small poodle... With stage three cancer.

I wish I had stage three cancer. Pancreatic.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Uh, granted.

I wish I did not have cancer. (FYI, this is just a joke--i don't have cancer IRL)

[Hanslanda]

Granted. You have AIDS.

I wish GWG understood why I wanted cancer.

[pisskop]

Granted, now he knows the dark truth to your self-destructive tendencies.

I wish I could see behind me without looking.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, your eyes are moved to the back of your head and multiply.

I wish for Toady One to rule the universe AFTER DF 1.0 comes out in 20 years.  (Let's see you corrupt that)

[wer6]

granted however the universe is now a bunch of armless dwarfs screaming eternally and your are one of those dwarfs also off a bit there is no stone just elfs.

i wish i wasnt sick 

[Audioworm333]

Granted. You have now died from the illness. A corpse cannot catch illness. Therefore you are technically not sick.

I wish my adolescent hormones would stop acting up.