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[Elephant Parade]

Summon UFO.  Use it to blast away my enemies.

(4-1)You summon a UFO. It blasts you with a laser. You die.

Leave the city, figure out what my mutant powers are.

(5-1)You manage to leave the city without being killed by zombies. [5]You have the power to breathe fire.

Looks for a crew that will hunt the Kraken with me!

Radiation sickness has worn off!
(5)You gain a crew of three: a one-armed, one-eyed former pirate; a Navy officer who lost his first ship to the Kraken, and a parrot.

Spawn and drink an invulnerability potion

(6)The potion grants you invincibility against life. You die.

Grab a weapon (e.g. a bonesaw) and cut through the horde to get out of here.

(1)A zombie grabs the bonesaw and kills you with it.

Re-respawn as a zombie.

(4)You succeed! However, you have a -1 to any action that a zombie wouldn't do. You also have a -1 to all actions because of GM hatred anti-zombie magnetic fields.

well, since we're doing nothing, cut myself with paper, might give me emo poem ideas

(2-1)Cut myself open
I bleed into the ground
Oops that's too much blood

You die.

Respawn as the crater.

(5)What. That doesn't even make sense. Fine, you're the crater. Somehow.

>Find and follow Kingbodz for protection!

CONDITIONAL ACTION: Should the GM consider killing me at any point, make sad puppy-dog eyes in my defence!

(5-1)You manage to follow Kingbodz. [6-1puppyeyes]A zombie strikes you! You are decapitated. You die.

Squirt the fools around me with squirt gun. This'll be funny.

(3-1)Your squirt gun is broken.

Stab more people with mechanical pencils.

(3-1)Your pencils are destroyed by a mysterious anti-pencil ray.

[Lightningfalcon]

Respawn.  Kill crater, then absorb the crater's powers.

[Tawa]

>Remove the random -1 I never even earned.

[SaberToothTiger]

Do what craters do in the evening -- read a fine book, sing a sea shantie or two, watch a movie with friends.

[Elephant Parade]

>Remove the random -1 I never even earned.

If you don't say something about respawning in your post, I may think that you've already been exposed to the radiation.

[Nidilap]

Throw squirt gun at crater. SABRETOOTH Tiger's gonna get wrecked.

[SaberToothTiger]

Oh god, I WILL use my crater powers to annihilate you for that insult.

[Beirus]

Go on adventures. Defend self from threats with fire breath.

[Tawa]

Stab more people with mechanical pencils.

(3-1)Your pencils are destroyed by a mysterious anti-pencil ray.

There isn't anything in here about me getting a -1. Or dying.

[SaberToothTiger]

If I die, let me explode, spawn killing everyone in the future. Take that, everyone!

[Elephant Parade]

Stab more people with mechanical pencils.

(3-1)Your pencils are destroyed by a mysterious anti-pencil ray.

There isn't anything in here about me getting a -1. Or dying.

What? Are you not aware of the radiation sickness penalty?

[tuypo1]

develop a sex addiction

[Tawa]

Stab more people with mechanical pencils.

(3-1)Your pencils are destroyed by a mysterious anti-pencil ray.

There isn't anything in here about me getting a -1. Or dying.

What? Are you not aware of the radiation sickness penalty?

Bah, fine.

>Cast a spell to remove radiation sickness.

[Yoink]

Hey now, I got a five! How did I die?

[Elephant Parade]

Hey now, I got a five! How did I die?

Actually, that was a 4. And it was for following Kingbodz, not for puppy eyes. I did apply puppyeyes to the zombie attack, but it wasn't enough to tip the scales.