WARNING: THIS GAME IS CANON
It is the Year of our Lord Clispaeth: 2058.
Basketball is illegal.
Years ago, B-Ballers were the champions of society, the spectacular heroes that reached superhuman levels of Strength, Agility, Brain and Attitude. The game of Basketball was the ultimate test of skill and determination, a culmination of the most fantastic feats on the sacred Court.
That is, until the 2043 Nicks-Rockets Championship Game.
With two seconds on the clock and the Rockets down 118-119, Charles Barkley utilized the ultimate verboten slam, the Chaos Dunk. While this instantly won Barkley the game, the raw magnitude of the Dunk was strong enough to destroy both teams, the refs, the announcers, the court, the spectators, Barkley's wife, the stadium, and all of Manhattan while severely damaging the rest of New York City. Consequently, the government outlawed the game of Basketball, labeling it as an illicit activity which would foster death and chaos by the dark art of "Slamming and Jamming". Courts were demolished, street ballers were attacked by mobs, basketballs, jerseys, and Jordans were subject to huge bonfires.
The culiminaiton of anti-basketball was The Purge, the genocide of professional b-ballers.
Most NBA players will killed outright, the rest given lifelong sentences on prison spaceships such as the Necron 5. Some past stars turned coat and became vehement in their anti-basketball campaigns, the most shocking turn being Micheal Jordan, considered to possibly be the greatest b-baller of all time, attained the position of Head Commissioner Against Basketball and B-ball Related Activities. Jordan let Charles Barkley live, not out of pity, but to let Charles suffer as he watched Basketball disappear from the Earth, living the rest of his life in regret of the Chaos Dunk, now residing in Neo New York, rebuilt from the city that Charles had razed.
Then in 2058, Barkley had to flee as a sudden Second Chaos Dunk destroyed Neo-Manhatten, one that he had nothing to do with, but was still framed regardlessly.
A lot of stuff happened after that.
Charles Barkley pursued a series of evidence that led him to Necron 5, where he managed to finally kill Michael Jordon, and subsequently discovered that Shadow Barkley, a manifestation of all of his hatred and vengeance, had been the one who performed the Second Chaos Dunk. Shadow Barkley requested his counterpart join him as one to destroy the Earth and rebuild it as a true Basketball Utopia, but Charles saw through this ploy only as an attempt for the darkness to engulf his heart, brain, soul, and other vestigial organs. After a fight which lasted over 8 minutes, Barkley sacrificed himself to perform the Ultimate Chaos Dunk, obliterating Shadow Barkley and Necron 5. The world was safe once again.
5 Years later, the word of Barkley's tale has spread throughout the land. Several underground radical groups have sprung up, protesting the government's policy of Anti-Basketball. It is also the time that several otherwise regular citizens of United States Region 47NXA, under the reign of Governor-Prince Julian Nitros Obusha were awaken one night by the spirit of LeBron James, telling them all to convene in the basement of Xu Yi Shi's Tavern, a local landmark.
This is where their saga of death and life, tears and laughter, slams and jams, will all begin...
Balling:Hey y'all, it's time to Jam. This revamp of the classic Basketball JRPG will tell the story of a party of otherwise unrelated folk coming together in a meeting of
F.A.T.E., embarking on the
Quest for the 8 Shards of the Miami Heat 2013 Championship Victory Basketball, an open-world journey that will take them all the way from the bustling metropolis of Neo-Atlanta, Neo-Georgia, to the eery desolation of Adamsville, Neo-Georgia, and maybe some other places too. Possibly.
Slamming:The game plays like an open-world RPG; you've got your Inns, Items, Bad Fanart, all of it. You explore, do quests, talk to some freaks, try to find meaning in life, all while on this big-ass quest for the 8 Shards. Y'all know.
First time doing a Forum Roleplaying Game? Well, if you ain't busy learnin', you get busy dyin'.
The Dice Outcomes in this game will be hidden.
Woooo, Secrets. The GM Dice System that will be used for this game includes: D20, D10, D6, D4, D1, D100, D1000, Sunny-D, D12 Feat. Eminem & Doctor Dre, Roulette Simulators, Horse Racing Simulators, Slot Machine Simulators, Simulator Simulators, Rock-Paper-Scissors, Coin Flips, Ouija Boards and Calling a Friend (one use per lifeline.) Of course, such a complex, kid-tested parent-approved system must have its true mechanics and outcomes known to only myself, in addition to my disciples. After all, "A Great GM never explains his tricks."
Battles will be fought in neo-classical optimal JRPG Fashion, with each character, player and enemy, performing an action to be completed in a battle turn-phase.
Health isn't listed in qualitative numbers, but rather general conditions such as "Fine", "Slightly Hurt", "Wounded", "Bleeding Profusely", "About to Die", and "Straight Up Gangsta'." Why this way instead of just numbers? As you can probably already tell, I'm trying to keep this game as realistically lifelike as possible.
Each character can aid themselves by equipping Weapons to extend damage output, Clothes to soften received blows and Bling to show off tacky jewelry.
All characters always have the option to do regular fighting stuff that anyone could perform; punches, kicks, grabs, throws, take-downs, anything a regular bozo off the street would know from watching a few action movies. However, each class has their own unique Techniques and Stratagems which they can use during a battle turn-phase, which will be listed below.
When a battle concludes, player characters will be rewarded with Experience, which levels their character up, and Neo-Shekels, the game's primary currency. Occasional, items may also be dropped as battle loot.
Each character has Attributes dependent on their Level, Class, and Race. These are the Major Attributes, though some lesser used, secret, nuanced Attributes also exist:
Strength - The raw damage potential your character has. Determines the extent to which targeted enemies will
*Oof!* and
*Barf*Vitality - Toughness, willpower; shows off your skill in taking pain and injury without dying and how many Screwballs you can down when cute girls are watching.
Agility - Movement and general physical slickness. Handles turn-phase initiative as well as dodging.
Brains - Smartitude, measured by an objective scale like an IQ Test or a Puzzle Book. Also, overall ability you can do magic, cast spells and other pagan rituals.
Accuracy - Can you hit it sucka'?
BP - Short for Basketball Points, used to perform Stratagems.
Hidden Attributes - Wouldn't be hidden if I told you them right off the bat. They'll come up later.
During fights, certain Ailments can appear that tamper with Attributes. Many different types exist, but only these ones continue to persist post-battle:
Dysentery: Gradually chips away at your Health allowing you to empathize with the billions of settlers that died on the Oregon Trail. Cured by Joints.
Scurvy: Arrr matey, you won't be movin' fast with this 'rusement! Cured by Flintstones Vitamins.
Concussion: Brain damage would be a normal part of life if this were a Football RPG. Cured by Alcohol.
Glaucoma: Accuracy drops, Lil' Weezy gun-puns galore. Cured by Dip.
Polio: Lowers strength, too bad the vaccine was lost in the Cyberpockolypse. Cured by Steroids.
Jamming:Each Occupation has its own varying levels of Attributes, as well as unique Technique and Stratagems. Upon Leveling up with enough Experience, Attributes increase, while new Techniques an Stratagems may be learned and/or old ones could be upgraded to be more powerful and efficient.
Each Occupation, as well as their initial T/S's from Level 1:
Baller: Even after the outlawing of B-Ball and dissolution of the N.B.A., a few brave souls still practice and play the sport regularly in secrecy, honing their skills with slams and jams. They arm themselves with Basketballs, typically donning Jerseys and Sweatbands or Jordans to increase their overall athleticism. Ballers have solid stats all around, but (with minor exceptions), their moves are limited to targeting a single enemy per turn.
Strength - 19
Vitality - 17
Agility - 18
Brains - 14
Accuracy - 16
BP - 20/20
Gumption - ∞
Techniques:
Free Throw - The Baller's only attack which can target multiple enemies, as they launch their ball twice in quick succession. Can target either one enemy twice, or two separate enemies. Low damage, moderate accuracy.
Pass Throw - Launches the basketball forward at maximum velocity. High damage, low accuracy.
Jump Shot - Leap high in the air to deliver an arcing attack. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Forward Jump Shot - Get all up into your foe's grill by moving up. High damage, high accuracy, increases recieved damage by 33% until next turn.
Fadeaway Jump Shot - Move backcourt with a defensive maneuver. Low Damage, high accuracy, decreases received damage by 33% until next turn.
Stratagems:
Pump Up! - Get hyped up for your next game, slightly increasing Strength and Agility. Costs 5 BP.
Doubleteam - Briefly duplicate yourself for a lightning fast flurry of basketball shots on your target. Costs 10 BP.
Zaubermancer: Dedicated, brilliant men and women of sound mind and body study the Art of Zaubers, ancient magical swords which allow them to reach superhuman potential. Zaubermancers wield Zaubers, wearing either Cool Robes or Longcoats, decked out in badass Shades. Zaubermancers are extraordinarily intelligent and notably fast, but are not the toughest of fighters.
Strength - Decent
Vitality - Poor
Agility - Good
Brains - Unfathomable
Accuracy - Average
BP - 32/32
Literacy Level - 1.3 War & Peace(s) Per Minutes
Techniques:
Zauber Strike - Launches an elemental attack according to the type of Zauber wielded. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, elemental properties.
Dash Slice - Slash apart a monster with precision cuts. Low damage, high accuracy.
Zeta Scan - Use tactical knowledge to decipher the patterns of your opponents. Targets all enemies, slightly lowers Agility.
Stratagems:
Fire Zauber - Creates a wall of fire around an enemy, lowering their Strength. Costs 10 BP.
Water Zauber - Showers up to 3 enemies with deadly waters, inflicting either Dysentery or Glaucoma. Costs 15 BP.
Ice Zauber - Freezes an enemy to keep them in place to deliver a sophisticated, powerful strike. Costs 20 BP.
Non-Pacifist Monk: While all monks learn of the nature of nature and potent medicines, not all decide to forgo negative emotions and violence. In fact, some prefer to not turn the other cheek, and instead throw their problems through a window table before giving them a flying elbow drop to the forehead. Non-Pacifist Monks can perform many aspects of Healing, but in combat they prefer to be either Unarmed or equipped with Exotic, Seemingly Impractical Armaments. They are strong, tough, and smart, but quite slow.
Strength - 8/10
Vitality - 9.2/10
Agility - 3/10
Brains - 8/10
Accuracy - 6/10
BP - 30/30
Style - Hardcore Wrasslin'
Combo Meter: Rather than techniques, Non-Pacifist Monks fight with a Combo Meter, performing a chain of several small attacks to deal significant damage, each attack taking up a certain number of Combo Points. At the end of a Combo, a Non-Pacifist Monk can use a Finisher to deliver both damage and to reduce enemy Attributes. Initially, the Combo Meter can contain up to a total of 10 Combo Points.
Attacks:
Jab - A quick straight punch. Low damage, decent accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Low Kick - Straight to the shins. Moderate damage, moderately-low accuracy. 2 Combo Points.
Punch - A powerful hook. Decent damage, moderate accuracy. 3 Combo Points.
Finishers:
Spinning Hook - A hard swing targeting the skull. Lowers Brain. 4 Combo Points
Sweep - A spinning kick to send your target to the ground. Lowers Agility. 6 Combo Points.
Tackle - Send them to the ground. Lowers Strength. 6 Combo Points.
Stratagems:
Holy Touch - Invoke healing powers to erase wounds. Heals a moderate amount. Costs 10 BP.
Medical Knowledge - Recall teachings to eradicate ailments. Stops Ailments. Costs 20 BP.
Guns'braster: Gun's! Who doesn't love Gun's? Certainly not Gun'sbrasters, who employ guns as a means to 'brast their enemies to pieces and fill them full of lead or equivalent metals. Gun'sbrasters carry Gun's into battle, frequently spotted in Rollerblades. Guns'brasters have a wide variety of moves in addition to being deadly, quick and able to hit the side of a barn even if the barn was only measurably on a microscopic scale, but are among the weakest of classes.
Strength - B
Vitality - D
Agility - B+
Brains - C+
Accuracy - SSS+!
BP - 15/15
Hobbies - Shootin', Bladin', Overall Being Totally Rad
Techniques:
Accurate Shot - Line up the shot on your target for an almost guaranteed hit. Fairly-low damage, extremely high accuracy.
Rapid Shot - Gun down multiple targets with rapid gunfire. Targets up to four enemies. Low damage, moderate accuracy.
Mega Shot - Launch a powerful magic bullet designed to take out tough enemies. Very high damage, very low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Gun's Slay - Gracefully light up a foe in slow mo'. Costs 10 BP.
Poison Bullet - If you can't get them with the shot, let the infection take care of the rest. Moderate damage, and gives target Dysentery. Costs 5 BP.
Android: Part living organism, part robot, these cyber creatures dot the landscape, reminders of the tragedy that befell beings that were once 100% flesh. It sounds sad, but hey, lasers! Androids use Lasers. They are great fighters all around, though they lack diversity beyond using Lasers, and have unique weaknesses being demi-robots. But hey, lasers!
Strength - High
Vitality - Good
Agility - Yeah
Brains - Woo
Accuracy - Ayy'
BP - 18/18
Dreams - ?
Techniques:
Laser - Shoots an enemy with a laser. Moderate damage, high accuracy.
Stratagems:
Spread Laser - LASERS. Shoots up to 3 enemies with a laser. Costs 10 BP.
Ghosts: Ghosts are physical embodiments of spirits who died, but can not ascend to the next dimension of reality due to a reason they may or may not know about, usually a regret or a curse by an obnoxious imp. Ghosts can utilize Ghost Weapons while shrouding themselves in Ghost Armor and Ghost Bling. Obviously, Ghosts are very strong and tough due to their ever present Ghost Muscles, and can buff up allies with their use of Ghost Powers. In other areas, they are mediocre.
Strength - GHOST!
Vitality - Ghost!
Agility - Ghost? Not really ghost.
Brains - Ghoul.
Accuracy - Zombambo.
BP - 20/20
Playlist: "Spooky Scary Skeletons", "Somebody's Watching Me", "Back from Tha' Grave", "Every Time We Touch"
Techniques:
Ghost Assault - Attacks an enemy with the strength of Ghosts. Moderately-high damage, moderate accuracy.
Spooky Divekick - A scary aerial maneuver which will rattle the bones of cowardly enemies. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, may inflict 'Spooked!'
Stratagems:
Ghost Muscle - Power up a friend with the enchantment of Ghost Muscles. Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Ghost Speed - Haunt your comrade with a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Swiftness. Increases Agility. Costs 10 BP.
Shinobi Technician: Shinobi Technicians are a modern branch of the Ninja, who seek to revive the lost style by taking a break from flashy, direct methods to return to a time of stealth and espionage. Ninjas carry appropriate weapons and gear. They are physically frail, but make up for it in unparalleled stealth.
Strength: ****
Vitality: **
Agility: ****
Brains: ***
Accuracy: ****
BP: 18/18
Stealth: *****************
Techniques:
Shadow Takedown - The Shinobi silently brings down a target by running up to them and beating the shit out of them with jumping punches and flying dropkicks, possibly throwing a chair or two. Moderate damage, moderate accuracy, high stealth.
Darkness Chainsaw - Pull out a Chainsaw to sneak up on an unsuspecting enemy to stealthy remove their innards. Fairly-high damage, fairly-low accuracy, high stealth.
Stratagems:
Molotov Toss - Light an enemy on fire with a Molotov to distract them from an actual attack. Lowers Agility. Costs 6 BP.
Shotgun Sneak - Assassinate two enemies with a double-barreled shotgun before the rest of their group even knows an attack commenced. Target up to 2 enemies. Costs 10 BP.
Celtic Space Warlord - Angry Celtic Warlords from Space, known for their brutality ferocious fighting styles, and spunky slave spaceships. These Warlords have learned to become bloodthirsty, constantly conquering petty planets and fighting off space police. They carry Oversized Scary Things and wear Manly Man War Clothes. They are the apex of a physical fighter, though they lack cranial power and their unwieldy nature makes them fairly inaccurate.
stroness: gud
healthyness: stron
fastyness: vry fst
smrts: wut
axuracy: hit pesant
BP: 10/10
Literacy: Negligible
Techniques:
Charge! - Run at the target before launching at them with the pointy part of your weapon. Decent damage, fairly low accuracy.
Slice n' Dice - If you swing it around enough, you'll be bound to hit them at some point. High damage, low accuracy.
Stratagems:
Beserker - Let the thirst for death seep through your veins! Increases Strength. Costs 5 BP.
Dance of the Barbarian - Front-flips are an essential part of Warlord culture. Targets up to 2 Enemies. Costs 10 BP.
Ex-Intelligence Agent: [REDACTED]
Strength: ?
Vitality: ?
Agility: ?
Brains: ?
Accuracy: ?
BP: 20/20
[NOTE: BURN AFTER READING]
Techniques:
Incapacitate - ?
Choke - ?
Stratagems:
Eliminate - SERVICES NO LONGER REQUIRED. Costs 15 BP.
Bribe - FORWARD FUNDS TO CAYMAN ISLANDS ACCOUNT. Costs X Amount of Neo Shekels.
Thank you ma'am:You'll find out there's a lot to learn about the world's variety of semi-interesting fauna. Here are the Playable Races:
Human: The most populous and generic species as in every great JRPG every created. We're the best after all, right behind Deities and Nekomimis.
Furries: Technology has finally gotten to the point where all your dreams of being a salamander-wolf-centaur can finally become true. Don't expect everyone to take you seriously at first.
B-Ball Mutants: Exposure to immense radiation of negative B-Ball energy has turned victims into hulking b-ball mutants, with their limbs replaced with balls and their skin transformed into orange rubber interspliced with black lines. A horrible fate, but they're always armed!
Duregar: A species of Dwarves that live deep underground, known for their work ethic, low intelligence and innate skill to dual-wield any weapons. Duregar's strive to have a constant supply of their must precious commodities; Rubies, Dunkaroos and Patriotic Quilts. Duregar's are eternal enemies with Genies, a race that only exist to take away Duregar civil rights.
Cyberdwarf: A total different Dwarven species that tend to live solitary lives, preferring to spend time on their spaceships and study the cosmos, though some have landed on Earth, intentionally or not.
Dragonkin: "I'm serious dude, totally part of the group. My grand-grandmother was half-dragon you see, which makes me at least like, an eighth. What? No I can't breath fire, racist asshole."
Sludge Elves: These swamp-based beings live in the swamp, subsisting off of tar. They tendOn second thought, fuck these guys.
Others: I trust that y'all know some interesting species? That's cool, just provide a brief explanation and I'll see if I can work it into the in-game world. One rule: No Sludge Elves.
Make Yourself Before You Break Yourself :Name: In absence of government-provided name, best street nickname.
Gender: Male? Female? Both? None? Other?
Age: Due to Child Labor Laws from the union, no one under 13.
Race: Take your pick, or make your own. No Sludge Elves.
Occupation: Summoners need not apply.
Apperance: How you actually look, not a description of that cute Asian girl you pretend to be online.
Backstory: What school did you go to, what hood you grew up in. That stuff.
Not first-come-first-served, the best, most creative, thought-out, straight ballin' slam jammin' sheets will be selected. Everyone else will be put on the waitlist.
On The Court:1. Harry Baldman (Doctor Bear)
2. lawastooshort (MC Nigel the Deadly Ninja Assassin, Shinobi Technician)
3. Greenstarfanatic (Rubric "Kitty-Kitty" Dao)
4. Xantalos (Krrosh Anvilhumper)
5. BlitzDungeoneer (Johnny Johnson the 2nd)
6. Tiruin (Sarah)
The Bench:Shadestyle (Cyberdimention Wakka: 109)
Fr0stByt3 (Elise Malkovich)
UltraValican (Odie Oldman)
PrivateNomad (Agent 31)
Retried Players:[Empty]