Groom my porcupine until he looks incredibly adorable and 100% healthy.
[15]You groom Lord Poke All of You, complete with a small bowtie around his neck. He doesn't seem too happy about it, but looks adorable.
mash on the nurse assist button, repeatedly
"I'm right here, no need to break it. What do you need?"
"I see. One last question for you, sir: where did you obtain this phoenix feather? Last I heard these mythical creatures died out long ago."
"I just found it on the ground once. I guess they're not as extinct as you'd think."
KILL ALL DEMONS
[15]With only one demon left on Earth, you assault him with a chainsaw, but he blocks it with his claws.
Reveal that I was secretly Merlin all along.
[9]Well, it wasn't exactly a secret, with all the arcane books and such, but you
are a wizard. Not Merlin himself, though.
Take the Phoenix to a Vet or something. That, or have a training montage where we get the Phoenix into shape for an adventure!
[4]Even though you're just outside the city limits of Phoenix, Arizona, you're going to need a wheelbarrow or something to carry him there. A training montage would be extremely boring with an unconscious trainee.
CREATE A INTERDIMESIONAL PORTAL-MAKING DEVICE
[20]You have no idea how to make one, but you smash a bunch of gold, diamonds and platinum together, and create...something...
Propose some deals to the mind flayers.
"
No, no. Speaking for all of us, our proposal is to either eat your brains or make you an incubator for a larva. It is only done for the strongest of minds, and yours does seem quite strong, with the magical devices you use."
Tell butler to call ambulance
[4]Your butler is still busy clearing the table.
Make it rain Carp on the ghostbusters!
[19]You drop a convenient container full of fish being loaded into the rocket (Why are they doing that?) on the Ghostbusters. They are brutally crushed by it. This terrible accident calls for the launch to be cancelled. Another Ghostbuster squad notices you and runs toward you.
Wake up as Demon, "Wait, Why the hell am I on earth? Bless it all!"
Casually rip head off of human passing by and consume their soul.
[11]You do just that, but some maniac jumps from the bushes with a chainsaw. You block his attack rather easily.