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[smurfingtonthethird]

(Going back to normal RTD rules, because I forgot my new old ones.)

YaY friends!

[5]

YAAAAAAAY.

Ask gravity politely to make me fall slower, just this once.

[4]

Universe bluffed. You're falling pretty slow now.

Found my own country, named Corneria.

[3]

You found your country. It is promptly invaded by the US Spec Ops infantry aiming weapons at your head.

Help my friend save the world.

NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED.

I just realized I don't even know where or why the nuke is being launched...

Using the (hopefully) gained powers, cast an EMP on the matrix, then continue firing. IF I don't get powers, find a conveniently placed EMP device and use it. Very conveniently.

3, 5 VS 2 + 1

The hat abomination falls off the mech. The nuclear silo doors open, and a missile goes flying up. The bread mech lays into the missile guidance system, and with the computer failing to activate the shielding, the nuke is conveniently wiped out by the bread throwing Hugoluman at it. The nuke is knocked out of the air, falling on the asylum and smashing half of it.

CONSUME BEVERAGES WHILE WATCHING CARNAGE FROM SAVE, MULTIDIMENSIONAL DISTANCE

[3]

YOU ARE WARPED TO THE GM LAIR. POPCORN, VODKA AND ANY TYPE OF POTATO DISH ARE AVAILABLE.

Take my book and teleport myself back to the regular world. Appear before the Order of The Blessed Agonies and have them write another book prophecising the fall of Elephant Prade.

[6]

You find your book. Goodbye, ring. You go to the Order and they write a book on the Fall of Elephant Prade. Except you dictated his name wrong and now some random called Elephant Prade is dead. Smooooth.

Escape from potato dimension to dark city. Acquire supertea.

[5]

ESCAPE GET! TEA GET!

YOU ARE NOW A TEA GOD APOSTLE.

That's one way to do it, but I assume the GM finds spontaneous gaining of powers more stupidly fun. Or funnily stupid.

Why not both?

[WillowLuman]

The computer's mainframe is in/near the asylum, right?

[smurfingtonthethird]

Yep. Boom goes asylum, boom goes you.

[SOLDIER First]

Thank the universe for being kind.

Land somewhere cool!

[IcyTea31]

Uh, if I threw Hugo at the nuke, isn't he now high in the air above the ground? Or does a critical success let you handwave such technicalities?

Run to Corneria to escape from the angry robots and Troubleshooters. No need to smash The Computer further, as the nukes' guidance system is broken now.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Handwaved. He's sitting on top of the nuke.

Also, Corneria doesn't exist, it was annexed by the American government.

[IcyTea31]

My plan was to save Corneria from those yankees... No matter.

Run away, find something to do.

[WillowLuman]

Yep. Boom goes asylum, boom goes you.

What I mean is, if this went off, would it be blowing up Remuthra?

[smurfingtonthethird]

Yes... and a quarter of a planet. This ICBM makes the Tsar Bomba look like a firecracker.

[WillowLuman]

But if no one stops this computer, the other 3/4ths of the planet are at stake. Besides, most of that quarter is Australia, which by now is almost entirely dead anyway.

Wait for IcyTea to get to some distance, then manually detonate just one of the warheads. Hopefully a partial detonation won't cause too much damage to the rest of the world.

[IcyTea31]

Do I need to explain why that is not a good idea? Detonating one of the warheads will cascade the reaction to the other ones, unless they're WAY out of the blast radius. And seriously, you're trying to detonate a nuke while you're sitting on it. Besides, The Computer has a lot of work to do with the lost loyalty of its Troubleshooters. Please don't kill yourself.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Warp everyone to the GM hideout if the nukes go off.

Dude, you'll fuck the entire planet sideways with the fallout, cataclysmic earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and just general hysteria should the entire arsenal explode. You'll at least blow up what's left of Australia. The lower half of Asia is in that target area.

[Elephant Parade]

Develop a new tea-based alchemy system. Give powerful brews to my minions to power them up.

[IcyTea31]

By the way... Should the Computer hear me, reason that detonating that nuke would also destroy Alpha Complex. Therefore, the Computer is a traitor and must terminate itself.

[Remuthra]

Yep. Boom goes asylum, boom goes you.

What I mean is, if this went off, would it be blowing up Remuthra?

Nope, only the first version of the Computer. AM is located deep underground across most of the surface area of the planet.