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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 194618 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.14
« Reply #270 on: May 15, 2013, 12:38:00 pm »

"One hair. Isn't much to ask for. Really, I just don't want to be the team's unconditional bandage dispenser."

"I'd like to point out that the reward of the task we are currently performing is a set of breastplates about a 100 Yuros each. The goal of getting said breastplates is to protect one's internal organs - possibly yours - from further severing, smashing and piercing. So you could actually consider the thing we're doing right now enough of a favor for you already - either you are better protected by the end of this, or you are provided with a better-armored companion to utilize for shielding purposes at the end of our adventure."

"Or, if that doesn't convince you, let's just put the bandage-purchasing on a rotating schedule and next time I'll be the one to buy healing supplies and whatnot. Really, the depths of a dark and dangerous den of monsters aren't the best place to have a discussion on financial matters. Those should be kept until after an adventure is done."
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15
« Reply #271 on: May 15, 2013, 02:09:04 pm »

Turn Fifteen

Take my revenge on the Sissy Fungus!

By the mushroom corpse, Bukkar is ashamed. Like many men who feel their underlying masculine forces and precious bodily fluids threatened by the confusing and too-rapid evolution of the world around them and in which they no longer clearly see their place he turns to mindless violence, seeing as how it’s too early for drinking.

”*YOU*”

"Finally, the bloody little bugger is dead! We should probably deal with our wounds before moving onward, though."

He kneads that Sissy Fungus Corpse like a great big barrel of dough! He punches! He pummels! He slaps! He elbows!

”*FECKING*”

"Messenger, you owe me a new pair of boots. And more besides that. Maybe even dinner and a show."

"Luckily I still have a bit of money. Sorry again. But I do suppose that, should things go as they have already, you'll soon get the chance to return the favor. Hahaha."

After no more than a minute’s bemused observation, the rest move off, leaving the disturbingly angry man alone in the dark with his slimy dead mushroom.

”*ARSEWIPE*”

Defend my bandages with my life, and mean, mean words. If you take one without asking anyway, you might find your luck slipping... Also, treat that small wound I sustained.

Alone in her dark bloody corridor and surrounded by bits of rat-insect legs, Medha sits down cross legged and starts bandaging her own hand. It’s… well… the bleeding’s stopped. Her hand looks like she used to live in a pyramid though. She kind of likes it as a look.

Suddenly Lady Foxglove appears out of nowhere, pushes her over, and steals her look! And a bandage with which to achieve this look, which, in the interests of originality, she applies to her foot.

Rather fetching, she thinks.

While she wraps herself up, Whiz and a grinning Tackov wander along, Whiz enquiring very politely if he could possibly have a bandage or two.

He can’t.

Tackov wonders if he might perchance help with all the bandaging.

He can’t either.

Finally, carefully looking in the every corner just like his mum used to when checking he’d adequately cleaned his room of cobwebs, comes Gervedder.

He makes it alive, too, just in time for a lengthy and mature financial discussion, at some point during which Whiz gets bored and approaches the further – we’ll say northernmost for convenience’s sake – wooden door.

Open the further wooden door, then.

Whiz the Wizzard approaches the wooden door, takes a small run up, and kicks it right off its hinges!

It falls flat on the floor and there’s a few distressed squeaks and unpleasant crunches as Whiz bursts into the room over it!

The room is empty except for a strong looking wooden door in the far corner.

”Room clear!” shouts Whiz, suffering some sort of flashback.

…   …   …   …   …   …

Back at the mushroom corpse, Bukkar is busy pummelling away when suddenly a lurching drunkard bursts out of nowhere, spewing profanities and wildly swinging his fists!

Luckily Bukkar wins initiative and backs away, preparing his own fists!

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15
« Reply #272 on: May 15, 2013, 02:18:38 pm »

"Wait, before we go..."

Open the other door right next to the one Whiz opened after checking it for any obvious traps. Hopefully it only contains treasure and not, say, hideous creatures of the nether dimensions. However, in the regrettable case that such creatures can indeed be found behind said door, shut it quickly and step sideways away from it (not in the direction the door opens so I don't get slammed with it should horrible creatures open it with brute force).

"Have to check alternate routes for dead ends, after all."
« Last Edit: May 15, 2013, 02:34:25 pm by Harry Baldman »
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15
« Reply #273 on: May 15, 2013, 02:46:58 pm »

You pansy! You're drunk off beer that should be MINE!

Pummel the drunkard into a pulp. Then, catch up to the rest of the party. Can't trust themselves to not hurt themselves without me, after all.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #274 on: May 15, 2013, 03:12:53 pm »

Turn Fifteen Point Five!

Open the other door right next to the one Whiz opened after checking it for any obvious traps. Hopefully it only contains treasure and not, say, hideous creatures of the nether dimensions. However, in the regrettable case that such creatures can indeed be found behind said door, shut it quickly and step sideways away from it (not in the direction the door opens so I don't get slammed with it should horrible creatures open it with brute force).

"Wait, before we go..." says Gervedder, before Whiz can get to the next door, "Have to check alternate routes for dead ends, after all. Who knows what could be behind here..."

Like an expert, the messenger runs his fingers around the door frame, decides very firmly to himself that there is nothing there, and quietly slips open the door.

The only thing in the room, the same size as its neighbour, is a shelf on the other side of the room, about two feet off the ground, with four bottles on it.

Pummel the drunkard into a pulp. Then, catch up to the rest of the party. Can't trust themselves to not hurt themselves without me, after all.

Back at the dark slimy mushroom mess, Bukkar issues one of his simultaneously favourite and most hated warcries.

”You pansy!” he wails with a burst of indignation, ”You're drunk off beer that should be MINE! MINE!!”

I've won initiative! he thinks to himself in a strange inner narrative voice, huzzah! Take this!

Oh.

...Ooof!

Ah.

Eeek!

Arf!

Aiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Aha!

AHA!

...HA!


Breaking the drunkard's legs with an unorthodox punching style, Bukkar runs off to find his... acquaintances, giggling gleefully to himself as he does so. So far adventuring is almost entirely what he hoped it would be...

Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom: Damaged Chest!

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #275 on: May 15, 2013, 03:23:37 pm »

"Yes, potions!"

Identify the four different potions.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #276 on: May 15, 2013, 03:31:45 pm »

Help with looting... I mean identifying the potions
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Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #277 on: May 15, 2013, 04:27:01 pm »

Count bandages. Recount bandages. Get confused. Mope around a bit. Do not loot potions, because that would be a tad too impolite, do laugh at party if shenanigans happen due to potions, do look around for some more interesting stuff if no shenanigans happen.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2013, 04:31:16 pm by Errol »
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #278 on: May 15, 2013, 04:36:32 pm »

Action: Give Bukkar a random potion and tell him it's alcohol.

Action: Do some sexy aerobics while waiting for everyone to move on.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #279 on: May 15, 2013, 05:52:56 pm »

Catch up to party.
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.15.5
« Reply #280 on: May 16, 2013, 12:07:26 am »

"Remember, people - only steal things nobody is likely to miss. Nothing too valuable."

Make sure that the way north is indeed a dead end rather than some sort of secretive region of warped space leading to a land of unseen wonders.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2013, 12:57:53 am by Harry Baldman »
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.6
« Reply #281 on: May 16, 2013, 05:09:23 am »

Turn Sixteen

Identify the four different potions.

"Yes, potions!" cries Whiz in delight, "Uhuhuhuhuhu!"

"Huhu, huhu, huhu, you said potions."

"Remember, people - only steal things nobody is likely to miss. Nothing too valuable!"

"Yes, boss!" shouts Whiz, getting ready to whiz, "I totally heard what you said!"

Whiz and Tackov burst forwards simultaneously, and there’s a click.

Whiz falls to the floor just in time, but Tackov receives a full volley of shooting needles to the face!

There’s all sorts of blood!

Well, actually, there’s just face blood, but Tackov is too busy bleeding all over his eyes to tell.

Wound Acquired: Tackov Cedtry: Very Bleeding Face!

Count bandages. Recount bandages. Get confused. Mope around a bit. Do not loot potions, because that would be a tad too impolite, do laugh at party if shenanigans happen due to potions, do look around for some more interesting stuff if no shenanigans happen.

Medha had only got as far as her third recount of her, confusingly enough, only 79 bandages when she’s suddenly interrupted by Tackov the Wind Mage’s high pitched shrieking. She looks up. She points.

”Haha!”

Help with looting... I mean identifying the potions

Tackov is quite determined though, and a river of face blood isn’t going to stop him identifying a whole bunch of potions!

Although it might hinder him slightly. The first two just seem to taste of blood, so Whiz quickly grabs the remaining pair before Tackov can bleed at them. He sniffs. He holds the bottles up to the light. He swills it around a bit. He pokes a finger in. He spits all over the floor and repeats.

”Hmm…” he thinks, ”Interesting…”

It would seem that there are four potions:

One tastes very much like the minor healing potions the party already possesses, but better: kind of like a fine burgundy with hints of oak and berry. Possibly a bit of vanilla, plum and pepper. Whiz declares it’s a Middling Health Potion x1!

Another tastes quite like the minor mana potions the party already possesses: one would almost say an above average gewürztraminer, but on a sunnier day. Very sweet, but not too sweet. Makes you think of ruined castles and mango and passion fruit mousse cakes. Whiz realises it’s a Middling Mana Potion x1!

A third tastes a bit like the aftertaste you might get after drinking a nice pint of dark mild and then eating half a pound of stilton before you can stop yourself. Whiz really can’t tell if that’s actually a nice taste or not. He’s not sure what it is, but scraping the depths of his training he guesses it’s probably either a strength enhancing potion of some sort or some kind of elixir to promote the growth of mutations.

The last potion tastes decidedly like warm milk with a slight dash of chocolate. Not too hot, but not yet merely lukewarm. Whiz’ll be damned if he knows what this one is.

Catch up to party.

Action: Do some sexy aerobics while waiting for everyone to move on.

While Tackov bleeds on the floor and Whiz spits on it, Lady Foxglove does stretching. And pumping. And humming fast paced repetitive music. And- oh crikey.

Suddenly she notices Bukkar standing there open mouthed.

Is that drool?

It is drool.

The only question is whether it’s Bukkar’s natural drool or Bukkar’s Lady Foxglove-induced drool.

Eww.

Make sure that the way north is indeed a dead end rather than some sort of secretive region of warped space leading to a land of unseen wonders.

Gervedder the Chaste is not one for such distraction! No! He inspects the wall at the north to check that it is indeed a wall and not a portal to secretive regions of netherspace in which lurk unseen wonders and terrifying terrors and tremendous treasures! He taps and tocks and feels and sniffs. Hmm.

Definitely a wall.

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.6
« Reply #282 on: May 16, 2013, 07:24:17 am »

Lady Foxglove decided now was to time to move on, she gently bumped Gervedder the clueless wall inspector aside aside with her hip (smiling as she did so) and drew her crossbow. She then wound up her unwounded foot, intent on kicking open the door to the room they had not explored yet. This was how real heroes opened doors. With rude and unnecessary force. Be damned if she was going to be outclassed in heroic entrances by the Mr. Whiznificent.

She even had a suitably dramatic one liner prepared if they found enemies within!

Action: Action kick open that unopened door!
« Last Edit: May 16, 2013, 07:29:14 am by Dwarmin »
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.6
« Reply #283 on: May 16, 2013, 08:47:27 am »

Take the Mana, Health, and Strength(?) potions, leaving the mystery one for whoever wants it.
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lawastooshort

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For future reference (and to save space in OP2)
« Reply #284 on: May 16, 2013, 09:19:36 am »

Whiz and Tackov’s Drug Diary - Which it's Supposed to be an Almanack of Drugges for the Use of Adventurers

It would seem that each potion type has the same general taste and appearance – what seems to vary is the power of the taste and smell.

Health
Kind of like a fine burgundy with hints of oak and berry. Possibly a bit of vanilla, plum and pepper.

Minor Health Potion x1

Middling Health Potion x1

Bodily Integrity
A bit more robust than minor health potions – similar to a rioja, tastes crushingly hot. Darker in colour. Smells a bit more like clay.

Minor Surgical Potion x1

Mana
One would almost say an above average gewürztraminer, but on a sunnier day. Very sweet, but not too sweet. Makes you think of ruined castles and mango and passion fruit mousse cakes.

Minor Mana Potion x1

Middling Mana Potion x1

Unknown
A bit like the aftertaste you might get after drinking a nice pint of dark mild and then eating half a pound of stilton before you can stop yourself: first it’s refreshing, malty, and not too bubbly without being flat, and then it feels like you sniffed a bag of rancid foot mould. Probably either a strength enhancing potion of some sort or some kind of elixir to promote the growth of mutations.(Update: this seems to be what led to Whiz growing a tail)

Decidedly like warm milk with a slight dash of chocolate. Not too hot, but not yet merely lukewarm. Entirely unknown. (Update: this seemed to be warm milk with a slight dash of chocolate.)
« Last Edit: August 28, 2013, 08:18:32 am by lawastooshort »
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