Turn EighteenCharge the enemy!
"I can't tell which of you is uglier, the toad or the man. I've seen better swords in a toy chest, are you going to hit me with that before it falls out of its hilt? Honestly, face the right way at least-I can't tell if that's your face or your ass."The toad, already exceedingly angry, continues its charge at Lady Foxglove, hopping furiously across the warm stone floor
…and smacking its head against her foot a bit.
It certainly isn’t painful; it does though risk causing a slight distraction as Lady Foxglove thinks up a witty one liner about toads licking her boots
again. She steps gracefully out of the way as she considers.
Charge the enemy!
But there’s no time! Gerty Jones, the toad’s despondent brother, swings his cutlass and charges at Lady Foxglove
…slicing her horrifically in the guts and smashing her to the floor!
Wound Acquired: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III:
Slashed Guts!Sneak up behind Foxglove and into the room. Unload all curses on the pedo-kidnapper, taunt him, and run. Or stab, if it's looking up for us...
Seeing the brutal bloody slaughter as she appears in the doorway, Mehda is so appallingly shocked she’s lost for words!
She tries to curse the fleeing kidnapper,
...but only manages to deliver a crude stream of sexual swearwords in a selection of infernal languages.
She turns and runs!
Action: Concentrate on avoiding the dual charges, roundhousing anyone in the face who gets close to me. Use insulting quips of course, and gracefully dodge their enraged attacks.
Tis but a flesh wound, signals Lady Foxglove’s guts to Lady Foxglove’s pride, let not it stop you from your withering verbal assault! Up and at ‘em, dear girl!
"Er. Where was I? Ah yes. Also, Gerty is a girl’s name. Loser."”Noooooooooooo!”…Lady Foxglove seems to have hit the poor chap’s sore spot!
”Noooooooooooooooooo! It’s a MAN’S name! Just like my dear papa!”Gerty sinks to the floor, bawling his eyes out and wailing about his dear pops and how it was only the once that he wore a dress, he swore it, and that
he didn’t like wearing women’s-
Suddenly Lady Foxglove roundhouses him in the face!
…But she misses, and is condemned to listening to Gerty’s despair another whole turn.
Accept potion. Lean back against wall and watch party members fight. Comment derisively on technique.
”That sucked, Lady F!” shouts Bukkar, appearing in the doorway. He slopes into the room and leans against the wall whilst taking a cigarette out of his chest pocket. He taps it down against the box a couple times.
”What you should have done was, like, not miss! And, you know, maybe hit him! Durrrr!”Yield potion and investigate disturbance. Wind Blast anyone attacking party members into anyone else attacking party members.
Tackov Cedtry, Soon-to-be-Level-Two Wind Mage strides into the room – manfully, like a man who has just participated in the noble manly rite of arm-wrestling should, and purposefully, like someone who has just heard a disturbance and is about to wind blast someone into the ceiling whilst investigating it might.
He surveys the scene of bloody chaos.
There, on the floor, lies Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III, bleeding severely. On her left stands Bukkar Crangrom, snorting derisively at her every move. On her right stands a toad, trying to headbutt her boot. And before her weeps Gerty Jones, erstwhile attacker and current disturbed flashback-about-that-time-he-caught-his-dad-crossdressing sufferer.
There is but one thing to do.
...Tackov Cedtry wind blasts Gerty Jones smack bang into the ceiling with sickening force!
Gerty Jones falls crack splat onto Respectable Jones the Toad with gut-wrenching velocity!
Bukkar Crangrom's derisive commentary ceases!
Wound Acquired: Gerty Jones:
Broken Legs!Wound Acquired: Gerty Jones:
Bruised Arms!Wound Acquired: Gerty Jones:
Bruised Guts!Wound Acquired: Gerty Jones:
Broken Head!Wound Acquired: Respectable Jones:
Damaged Legs!Wound Acquired: Respectable Jones:
Broken Guts!Wound Acquired: Respectable Jones:
Slight Chest Pain!Get the door open!
...As Bukkar wonders what to say, Tiny Arnold finally manages to overcome the magic blocking the door, wrenches it open, and sprints away as fast as kidnapping a four year old allows him to.
As he slips through the doorway, he literally disappears from sight – immediately after quaffing down what looks suspiciously like a potion in his free hand. Perhaps there's a connection.
Unfortunately for him the small child does not also turn invisible and proceeds to disappear sideways through the doorway about four feet above the ground.
Go and see what all the fuss is about in the next room. If there's any way I can shoot the toad without too much of a risk of hitting Foxglove, do so. Don't move in front of her heroically, though. That wouldn't be the best idea.
Half a second after Tiny Arnold disappears, Gervedder appears in the room he just left. He sees a squashed and broken gutted toad on the floor.
...He shoots it at point blank range in the leg.
Wound Acquired: Respectable Jones:
Heavy Bleeding!Look through the door of the other room. Attack any hostiles that appear to be headed my way.
Scream!
Finally Whiz peers in, sees no hostiles heading his way, and goes back to making notes in his Drug Diary.
He wonders what that screaming noise is from the other room.
It sounds quite like a small boy screaming.
Something about
put me down and
I want my milk and
you fecking eejit, I'll turn you into a fecking toad too when I've had my nap, you fecking fecker!
Perhaps I should have had some sort of mechanism for defensive fighting from now on – say +1 to defence if not actively attacking? I'll think about it. I might add it as a skill choice – bonus to defence, extra chance of counters (I normally do them now if the roll is, say, a Toaster-like 1 vs 5 or 6), something like that.
And yes, I could have had bad fun with the wind blast if it hadn't come up double 5 and instead, say, ooh, double 1. Or 3. Or 6.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Wind Mage
Status: -1 pain penalty to dodge
Health: [HP: 48/50] |
Fractured RibsAbilities: Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, 3 Yuros.
Name: Whiz
Class: Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status:Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 2 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Unknown Strength (?) Potion.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Curse Crafter
Status:Health: [HP: 75/75] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Abilities: Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 78 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Opportunistic Messenger
Status:Health: [HP: 73/75]Abilities: This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 Yuros.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! Also stunned at -1 for a turn and -5 initiative and bleeding on the floor.
Health: [HP: 55/75] |
Slashed Guts!Abilities: Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 Yuros.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities: Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, 2 Yuros, Warm Milky Potion.
Name: Gerty Jones
Class: Hired Thug
Status: Crying excessively: -1 Stunned penalty next turn, -5 initiative penalty next turn, 50% chance of being unable to act unless and until attacked, 50% chance of state continuing next turn. -2 Pain Penalty next turn. A bit unconscious.
Health: [HP: 55/75] |
Broken Legs! |
Bruised Arms! |
Bruised Guts! |
Broken Head!Abilities: Overpowering Charge I,
Competent Swordsman IInventory: Medium Health Potion x1, Cutlass.
Name: Tiny Arnold
Class: Hired Thug
Status: Carrying a small child. Invisible for three turns.
Health: [HP: 75/75]Abilities: Competent Swordsman I,
Headbutt of Fire I,
Raging War KillInventory: Cutlass.
Name: Respectable Jones
Class: Hired Thug
Status: Currently a giant toad (reduced HP).
Health: [HP: 5/30] |
Broken Guts! |
Heavy Bleeding!Abilities: Sneaky Death Stab I,
Stealth ExpertInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Dagger(s), Lock picking kit.
edit: haha never saw that there were two maps oops
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Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 191402 times)