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[Philosoraptor]

Strangled to death by a one-armed lion.

[Lordraymond]

Spent about two hours on an adventurer. Had gotten to the point where I had almost full iron armor, including an *iron helm*. Accomplished Dodger, Talented Shield User, Master Axeman. Superhuman agility.

I was assaulting a bandit camp and felt I was strong enough to do so without stealth. I was wrong. Here's the very first message I got:

The flying -copper arrow- strikes you in the head, tearing the muscle and tearing apart the upper spine's nervous tissue through the *iron helm*!

Suffocated before I even saw the bastard that killed me. Pathetic AND ridiculous.

[WillowLuman]

Any time something kills me with my own body part. Not often, but werecreatures, titans, minotaurs, and night trolls seem particularly fond of trying.

[Sprin]

Jumped off a cliff in full addy to save my life from boogymen. The water at the botom apparently. dosnt break. the fall

[Drazinononda]

Tried to cross a 4-tile wide stream and drowned... wearing no armor.

[Angel Of Death]

I had my head ripped off by an alligator 7 turns after starting. Kobolds aren't the best adventurers.

[EpsilonSigma]

Tried to cross a 4-tile wide stream and drowned... wearing no armor.

That would be why you always* give adventurers at least Adequate Swimmer before you start.

*Optional

-----

- Found tomb
- Accidentally triggered !!FUN!!
- Mummy and undead peasants slaughted my allies (they were new, the last lot got killed by some random fish :|)
- Manage to hack a few peasants apart and run away
- Got my spine badly damaged by a passing elephant
- Swarmed by peasant corpses

Don't you just hate elephants?

[WillowLuman]

You only need novice swimmer to not drown. But I prefer to start with no swimmer, then cautiously grind to dabbling by swiming 2 tiles at a time before getting out, as you get a huge stat bonus.

[Infernal_Dalek]

I thought I'd practice wrestling on something harmless, so I repetitively grabbed and threw around a turkey. I got so tired I passed out fairly quick. When I came to that turkey was pissed off and pecking me in the face. It had pecked me in the face so many times while I was passed out that I passed out once again due to pain. I woke up again, only to pass out from pain again. This process repeated itself for what must have 2 or 3 days.

  Finally, after 3 or so days of fading in and out of consciousness while the relentless gobbler assaulted my face, I finally bled to death.

 
  In the middle of an abandoned fort somewhere, there lives a named turkey. He is the pain bringer.

[DWC]

I had abandoned a dorf fort full of nice equipment, but it was in a pretty remote location and I was having absolutely terrible luck getting an adventurer to survive the journey over there. Out of the string of failed demigod dwarf warriors, the worse was when I went to make the trek across a mountain range, leaning on the num pad when suddenly and improbably, a giant panda intercepted me and crushed my upper spine in the blink of an eye and proceeded to maul me from there.

I just decided to build another fort closer to the human towns.

[WillowLuman]

In the middle of an abandoned fort somewhere, there lives a named turkey. He is the pain bringer.

This requires illustration. Someone get on it immediately!

[Eric Blank]

In the middle of an abandoned fort somewhere, there lives a named turkey. He is the pain bringer.

This is exactly what happened to me. Except the villain was a ground hog...

[Tenderroast]

spawning in the middle of the ocean? it happens when you are playing masterwork, with the extra races turned on.... there was a frogmen village on the sea floor.

[WillowLuman]

Do villages spawned in the open ocean actually have buildings?

[Someone1214]

I got my arm ripped off by a sturgeon. I had full steel armor. And then I bled to death.