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[GuesssWho]

Yay, god of failure! LOL

[WillowLuman]

Yay, god of failure! LOL

Crap, that needs a drawing now

[Rawb]

Reactivating my retired adventurer, spawning on a roof and dying throwing myself off it .

Deciding that the village donkey would be good to test my combat skills on. Didn't last 4 seconds.

[Replica]

Playing as modded cat adventurer (normal cat with grasping paws), jumping off a single z level and breaking my spine.

Starving to death one tile away from the shore after swimming between one isle to another in an archipelago world..

[Vlad]

I once had an elf companion that was in a lair with me who proceeded to run at a giant just to be picked up by the giant, thrown against a wall, and then explode.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Hydra's where everywhere in a bloody cave. no really, its COVERED in blood.
Yeah, they all pretty much just started to rip my limbs off and bite at me until one bit me in the head.
Good thing I was a modded race that cases a massive nuclear explosion.
I came back.....
I forgot about my companions.
me: *sees body of friend*
me: "FUCK."

[wer6]

Sneaking into A cave too kill A troll...

there were two trolls, I axed of there left hands off and it hit me in the lower body severing it.

...Fuu...

[Tun_Dar]

Ive already posted this death elsewhere, but it fits in better with Pathetic Deaths. While fighting a troll, my loincloth was forcibly torn from me, and I was then beaten to death with it. Its like DF: SVU.

[LucasI3434]

This one happened to me yesterday.

Things started out well. Found two companions immediately: a Maceman and a Crossbowman. However, in reaching the destination of my first quest, a Goblin encampment, I had to cross a river.

My Maceman drowned, and my Crossbowman went mysteriously missing. No log of any actions other than floundering in the water So, I hop over to the next town over to find some replacements. I find a Pikeman and an Axeman. So, while we were traveling, I ran out of food and was hungry. Suddenly, there was a group of pigs. "Cool" i thought, "I'll just kill one and slaughter it so I'll have food for a few days as well as some trading materials."

I initiate an attack, but didn't notice that it was a tame pig. My Pikeman and Axeman go rogue and attack me. I run away. 8 stray ducks, 3 stray pigs, 6 stray cats, 5 stray dogs, 4 stray sheep, and 7 wild donkeys are suddenly chasing me.

I held my own for a while against the initial waves of ducks and pigs, but the cats and dogs wouldn't stop harassing me with their biting and scratching, building up bruises which hindered my mobility. So I kept running, but they caught up. While I fought off the ducks, everything else retreated but my former companions, the remaining stray cat, and three wild donkeys, was either dead or had retreated. I started attacking my Pikeman since he was the greatest thread. I hit him a few times, and he retreated leaving a blood trail. Then the donkeys came. Three of them. I managed to kill one of them, but the cat behind me forced me to the ground with a scratch to the face. I also dropped my sword.

I tried pushing against the donkeys, but one of them strangled me into unconsciousness. How, I will never know. But the final blow was a donkey kick to the skull which destroyed my brain.

[DwarfOfTheLand]

Okay, so I max'd out my character with everything, an Axelord, I was. I went to a Dwarf civilization, I killed the King and Queen and looted every building.

Since I was so slow, I managed to get caught by a half-dead zombie soldier with one missing foot, he beat me to death with the King's head.

Pa-Th-Etic.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

I used to throw my barrel full of weapons at every enemy.
Used to.
There was an ambush - their commander has got himself crushed under my Barrel of Doom. Then I continued to strangle other soldiers to death by sneaking to them and throwing sharp rocks untill they are unconscious. But then... Someone has hit me in the shoulder with a bronze bolt!
I tried to run for cover, picking up my precious barrel before hiding behind a tree. That was how I died. Barrel has decreased my speed to 300~ U/U. It was enough for the hidden crossbowman to make a pincushion of me.

[Freshmaniscoolman]

Can people stop posting the [name] rips off [body part] and beats me with it? Sure it was funny and all but now it's old.

[Astrid]

Had an quite sucessfull lunatic of an vapire macelord who got about 2000 kills, was as good as unstoppable, went regularily
out to 'enjoy myself in the villages and towns. Much to the populations dismay.
Yeah, until i fought on an staircase with someone standing atop me.
I killed him. And all of his equipment, clothing and body came down on me one by one, killing me.

So, yeah...

A.

[Jarloth Steellungs]

I created a swordsman whom was lucky enough to start with a scimitar. He was not a fan of goblins though. He entered the nearest weapons shop to find it was owned by goblins! He immediately slashed ones left upper leg, the sever part sailed off in an arc! By now he was running from a mob of metalsmiths. He threw enough peat and ran far enough to escape.
He enjoyed this slaughter though and returned to the town out of bloodlust. Every swing he made on every attacked severed something! After killing all the livestock and butchering (not literally) a shop full of goblins and men, he was finally stopped by a miner and bonecarver.

And that is the story of the great swordsman named "DIMPLECAKES"

[Freshmaniscoolman]

Had an quite sucessfull lunatic of an vapire macelord who got about 2000 kills, was as good as unstoppable, went regularily
out to 'enjoy myself in the villages and towns. Much to the populations dismay.
Yeah, until i fought on an staircase with someone standing atop me.
I killed him. And all of his equipment, clothing and body came down on me one by one, killing me.

So, yeah...

A.

Was that done on purpose?