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me

8 (16%)

me

2 (4%)

me

5 (10%)

help i'm trapped in a poll i don't know why i'm here i'm so scared someone please help

29 (58%)

me

6 (12%)

Total Members Voted: 50

[RAM]

I shall join the non-existent vikings and raid existence along with them. We shall plunder existence of their delicious "O"s!

[TherosPherae]

ROLL SIX

[Cerol Lenslens]

Practice gaining dramatic fortitude skill/bonuses by refusing to die despite giant freaking hole in chest and severe electrocution. Manifest aura of determination in the process.

[TheBiggerFish]

Make console not hate me and not evil, using the console.

Also, give me the ability to spawn in dungeon control consoles.

[FallacyofUrist]

Requisition personal Dungeon Level. Fortify against Sinister incursion/shenanigans.
MULTITASK: Send sincere apology letters the other Siblings and vow to only ship players in future.

(4+2=6) YOU GET CANDY CANE LEVEL
OH WELL

(5+2=7) NOW FULL OF HIGHLY LETHAL DEATHTRAPS
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW THE LOCATIONS OF

(5+2=7) THE APOLOGY LETTERS WORK
BUT YOU ARE NOW FEELING COMPELLED TO SHIP PLAYERS

Keep working on those giant candy canes of lasting satisfaction. And no more pushing people off the ship.

(6+1=7) YOU MAKE A MASSIVE CANDY CANE OF LASTING SATISFACTION THAT ALL OF YOUR CREW WANT

(1) NO
YOU HAVE DECIDED TO PUSH EVERYBODY WHO SPAWNS OFF THE SHIP

Respawn with impressive fanfare.

(3) YOU RESPAWN NORMALLY
(1) WHISPERLING FAILS TO NOTICE YOU SPAWNING(THANK GOODNESS)

I shall join the non-existent vikings and raid existence along with them. We shall plunder existence of their delicious "O"s!

(1) YOU ARE KILLED BY NON-EXISTENT VIKINGS

ROLL SIX

(5) YOUR NEXT ROLL WILL BE 6

Practice gaining dramatic fortitude skill/bonuses by refusing to die despite giant freaking hole in chest and severe electrocution. Manifest aura of determination in the process.

(1+3+1=5) YOU REFUSE TO DIE
YOU GAIN +1 TO DRAMATIC FORTITUDE

(4+1=5) YOU GAIN AN AURA OF DETERMINATION
GIVES +1 TO DRAMATIC FORTITUDE FOR YOUR NEARBY ALLIES

Make console not hate me and not evil, using the console.

Also, give me the ability to spawn in dungeon control consoles.

(5) YOU REPROGRAM THE CONSOLE TO NOT HATE YOU AND BE NOT EVIL

(NO) THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THE CONSOLE CAN DO

Soon the protagonist will be invincible! I need to pull out all the stops to deal with him!

(6+3=9) ORIC SUMMONS A SHOPKEEPER TO DEAL WITH PROTAGONIST

Hm. It seems somebody's threatening business. LAZOREYES.

(2+5=7) LAZOREYES

(6+3+1=10) BOUNCE OFF PROTAGONIST

(4+3+1=8) PROTAGONIST NO SUCCUMB WOUNDS

#!#: (2)
ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT STRIKES PROTAGONIST

(5+3+1=9) IS IGNORED

ORIC: AWESOME(+3 TO ALL ROLLS HE MAKES), UNHURT
EGAN: IS AWESOME GUARDIAN(+2 TO ALL ROLLS), UNHURT, SEVENTH SINISTER SIBLING, HAS SUPERCOOL ANIME FACE, IGNORED BY OTHER SINISTER SIBLINGS, OWNS CANDY CANE LEVEL WITH DEATHTRAPS THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHEREABOUTS OF, COMPELLED TO SHIP PLAYERS
THEROS: IS ACCOUNTANT, UNHURT, CANNOT CAST FIST, CANNOT CAST TAXES, IS ARRESTED BY ORICOP, CANNOT CAST LAW, NEXT ROLL WILL BE 6
THEBIGGERFISH: EXISTS, HAS DUNGEON CONTROL CONSOLE THAT IS UNEMOTIONAL, MASTERED USE(IF OPERATIVE, AUTO FIVES TO USING IT)
CEROLLENSLENS: EXISTS, PROTAGONIST(+1 TO GETTING BONUSES, +4 TO AVOIDING DRAMATIC DEATHS, +1 TO DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE DANCING, DRAMATIC FORTITUDE AURA(+1 TO AVOIDING DRAMATIC DEATHS FOR ALLIES) HOLE IN CHEST, HATED BY ORIC)
RAM: DEAD(CAN ONLY RESPAWN)
WHISPERLING: HAS AR-CANE(+1 TO CANDY CANE MGIC, CAN USE CANDY CANE MAGIC, ABSORB'S ORIC'S AWESOME(-1 TO ATTCKING WHISPERLING)), IS ANYWHERE HE WANTS, HAS GIANT CANDY CANE DIMENSION-TRAVELING PIRATE SHIP ARMADA WITH CREWS, CREW WILL MUTINY WITHOUT LOOTS!, HAS CANDY CANE CUBE THAT IS ONLY SPAWN OR RESPAWN POINT, HAS GIANT CANDY CANE OF LASTING SATISFACTION WANTED BY ALL CREWMEMBERS, WANTS PUSH SPAWNERS OFF SHIP
WORMARMY: IS ON WHISPERLING'S FLAGSHIP
FREEFORMSCHOOLER: FOREVER BANNED FROM BEING DISGUISED AS OR ACTUALLY BEING SLOG OR SLOG VARIANTS, NONEXISTENT
SHOPKEEPER: INVINCIBLE(+ INFINITY TO RESIST DAMAGE), LAZOREYES(+5 TO LAZOREYES)

UNIVERSE: CHEATING GONE(NO MORE CHEATS), EGAN-ORIC SHIP FANFIC WRITTEN ON DUNGEON WALL, LEVEL BELOW IS THE CANDY CANE LEVEL, NO MORE LETTER MAGIC, CHAOS VORTEX PORTAL THING(RANDOM STUFF HAPPENS EACH TURN)

WHAT DO?

[Whisperling]

Use magic to break the candy cane into equal portions and distribute them.

And make a candy cane guardrail that keeps people from falling off the ship. Whether they were pushed or otherwise.

[TherosPherae]

BECOME DEITY OF ABSURD SHENANIGANS

[RAM]

Become the ghost of non-existence's past.

[TheBiggerFish]

Give myself the ability to give myself abilities using the console.

Make the console unable to be harmed (with the console).

Make myself unable to be harmed (with the console).

Make sure I cannot be locked out of the console (with the console).

[Egan_BW]

Write HIGHLY EMBARRASSING SLASH FANFIC between the protagonist and the pirate caption and release publicly, killing two birds with one stone.
MULTITASK: Create a secondary spawn point in my lair, creating player-controlled searchbots, loyal to me and Oric.
M-M-M-MULTIMULTITASK: Use highness in sibling hierarchy to delegate down to The Mechanic. Tell her that someone is messing with the dungeon console, and that she needs to lock them out somehow.

[WormArmy]

Receive candy cane fragment; find bread; make candywich

[FallacyofUrist]

Use magic to break the candy cane into equal portions and distribute them.

And make a candy cane guardrail that keeps people from falling off the ship. Whether they were pushed or otherwise.

(5+1=6) EQUAL PORTIONS DISTRIBUTED
AT HIGH VELOCITY
(6) CREW DODGE EASY
BUT ANGRY AT YOU

(5+1=6) SHIP BORDERED BY HIGH CANDY CANE FENCE NOW

BECOME DEITY OF ABSURD SHENANIGANS

(IMPOSSIBLE) HOW?

Become the ghost of non-existence's past.

(4) YOU RISE AS A GHOST
OF THE PAST

(6) WHISPERLING TELEKINETICALLY SHOVES YOU OFF SHIP
YOU FALL INTO VOID
YOU DIE AGAIN

Give myself the ability to give myself abilities using the console.

Make the console unable to be harmed (with the console).

Make myself unable to be harmed (with the console).

Make sure I cannot be locked out of the console (with the console).

(NO) THAT'S NOT SOMETHING IT CAN DO

(NO) THAT'S ALSO NOT SOMETHING IT CAN DO

(NO) THAT'S ANOTHER THING IT CAN'T DO

(5) THE CONSOLE CAN NEVER LOCK YOU OUT NOW

Write HIGHLY EMBARRASSING SLASH FANFIC between the protagonist and the pirate caption and release publicly, killing two birds with one stone.
MULTITASK: Create a secondary spawn point in my lair, creating player-controlled searchbots, loyal to me and Oric.
M-M-M-MULTIMULTITASK: Use highness in sibling hierarchy to delegate down to The Mechanic. Tell her that someone is messing with the dungeon console, and that she needs to lock them out somehow.

(4+2=6) PROTAGONIST AND PIRATE CAPTAIN HIGHLY EMBARRASSED
ANGRY AT YOU

(1+2=3) YOU MAKE METAL CUBE
NOT DO ANYTHING YET

(5+2=7) SHE'S HAPPY TO HELP
HO BOY

APPARENTLY SHE CAN'T LOCK HIM OUT

Receive candy cane fragment; find bread; make candywich

(5) YOU GRAB FRAGMENT

(1) YOU TRY TO GET BREAD FROM KITCHEN

COOK BASHES YOU ON HEAD

(3) YOU WRAP LETTUCE AROUND CANDY
LETTUCE CANDY WRAP

... NOT ENJOYABLE AT ALL

Combine our powers, annihilate that protagonist!

(3+3+5=11) GIANT LASER EYE BURST OF AWESOMENESS

(2+4=6) PROTAGONIST FINALLY ANNIHILATED

!#!: (1) ORIC GETS LASOR BLASTED
(6+3=9) vs. (4+3=7) ORIC IS IN PAIN

ORIC: AWESOME(+3 TO ALL ROLLS HE MAKES), IN PAIN
EGAN: IS AWESOME GUARDIAN(+2 TO ALL ROLLS), UNHURT, SEVENTH SINISTER SIBLING, HAS SUPERCOOL ANIME FACE, IGNORED BY OTHER SINISTER SIBLINGS, OWNS CANDY CANE LEVEL WITH DEATHTRAPS THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHEREABOUTS OF, COMPELLED TO SHIP PLAYERS, HAS PUBLIC EMBARRASSING SHIPPING FIC BETWEEN PROTAGONIST AND WHISPERLING, HAS METAL CUBE
THEROS: IS ACCOUNTANT, UNHURT, CANNOT CAST FIST, CANNOT CAST TAXES, IS ARRESTED BY ORICOP, CANNOT CAST LAW, NEXT ROLL WILL STILL BE 6
THEBIGGERFISH: EXISTS, HAS DUNGEON CONTROL CONSOLE THAT IS UNEMOTIONAL, MASTERED USE(IF OPERATIVE, AUTO FIVES TO USING IT), CANNOT BE LOCKED OUT OF IT
CEROLLENSLENS: NONEXISTANT(CAN ONLY RESPAWN)
RAM: IS NONEXISTANT(CAN ONLY RESPAWN)
WHISPERLING: HAS AR-CANE(+1 TO CANDY CANE MGIC, CAN USE CANDY CANE MAGIC, ABSORB'S ORIC'S AWESOME(-1 TO ATTCKING WHISPERLING)), IS ANYWHERE HE WANTS, HAS GIANT CANDY CANE DIMENSION-TRAVELING PIRATE SHIP ARMADA WITH CREWS, CREW WILL MUTINY WITHOUT LOOTS!, HAS CANDY CANE CUBE THAT IS ONLY SPAWN OR RESPAWN POINT, HAS GIANT CANDY CANE OF LASTING SATISFACTION WANTED BY ALL CREWMEMBERS, WANTS PUSH SPAWNERS OFF SHIP, EMBARRASSED BECAUSE OF EGAN, WANTS KILL HIM, CREW IS ANGRY AT HIM, SHIP HAS GUARDFENCES
WORMARMY: IS ON WHISPERLING'S FLAGSHIP, HAS CANDY CANE LETTUCE WRAP
FREEFORMSCHOOLER: FOREVER BANNED FROM BEING DISGUISED AS OR ACTUALLY BEING SLOG OR SLOG VARIANTS, NONEXISTENT
SHOPKEEPER: INVINCIBLE(+ INFINITY TO RESIST DAMAGE), LAZOREYES(+5 TO LAZOREYES)

UNIVERSE: CHEATING GONE(NO MORE CHEATS), EGAN-ORIC SHIP FANFIC WRITTEN ON DUNGEON WALL, LEVEL BELOW IS THE CANDY CANE LEVEL, NO MORE LETTER MAGIC, CHAOS VORTEX PORTAL THING(RANDOM STUFF HAPPENS EACH TURN)

WHAT DO?

[Whisperling]

....How and why did I develop telekinesis for the sole purpose of pushing people?

Seriously, stop pushing people. But keep the telekinesis.

Make the colossal candy cane of satisfaction fragments self-renewing by way of apology to the crew.

[Dermonster]

Why is this still happening. At least with irony it was halfway entertaining, this is just annoying.

[FallacyofUrist]

Eh. People(even FFS) seem to think it's fun. Fun, especially !!fun!! is self-perpetuating.