I was gonna post last night, but then I remembered that I had to translate the first 50 lines of Vergil's Aeneid. Sure, you look like a badass scholar when you carry around a hardcover copy of it printed in 1946, but if you can't read it, then it's all for naught.
"Yer slightly mistaken, Mr. Giordano. I ain't here for the treasure, I'm just here to bring order. The treasure is just a means to an end. And, no offense meant, but I was sort of hoping you'd be a gun. Ah, well, a Green Cloak is nothing if not adaptable. You can be my first deputy, if you want."
Kordos turns to his fellow spawnmates.
"Howdy, folks, I'm G.C. Marshall Kordos." He lifts his hat and nods in their direction. "I've come to bring some peace and order to this here demiplane, so y'all don't have to fret no more. Also, if'n you feel like helping out the cause, I could always use more deputies."
"A gun? I think I can do that. Just give me a second." Giordano's tentacles weave themselves together, forming a long canon-shaped barrel, mounted on four slithering tentacles.
"This good enough?"(Whoo. Dodged a bullet there, huh. I was gone for a while because of SPESS STESHUN 13.))
"''Ey! a skeleton! Yer name ish Mittensh. Come, Mittensh, letsh talk to those guysh."
Approach those guysh, and greet them.
Mittensh clacks in agreement, and then follows behind you, with surprisingly good posture for a skeleton. You shout at the other two people, and one says something about wanting you to be a deputy, and the other one just looks at you funny, with hundreds of metal eyes. Must be your accent...
That stung a little... I guess my voice is the same, though... Hah.
Test abilities, and see if anything new is capable with the eyes. Be nonhostile, unless someone attacks or something.
(Vodka aff: 6+1)
(Kordos dex: 6+5)
(Giordano dex: 2)
(Giordano bad: 1)
(Henry dex: 4-1)
(Mittensh aff: 5+2)
(Vodka dex: 6+2)
Seeing as how the cloaked man and the Irishman aren't trying to murder you, you focus your power into your numerous eyes, causing beams of silvery energy to fire from each one. Kordos expertly dodges the beams, but his living cannon is hit multiple times, and solidifies into steel, although it still looks more than functional as a gun. Henry stumbles drunkenly in front of one of the beams, but Mittensh waves a skeletal arm, opening a hole in the fabric of reality which the beam travels into. A similar gap opens up behind you, and you duck only a moment before your own beam flies out of it, whizzing past your ear.
((I think I'm now the oldest living character now)) ((Wait.... did Lilia just absorb some of Alani's and Sven's loot powers o.O? Is that how her legs turned to wings and the ancher tattooed to them come from? I wonder if the fan has the same power too o.O))
'Well... that's that's normal enough now... I stomach that at least...' Lucky thinks as he watches Lilia fly around. He figures he can get used to that... atleast it's a major improvement compared to have legs growing out of.... everywhere. "Well... if you keep that look with the wings... I guess it's fine. Still I hope we find a way to change you again... but I'm not worried as much about that anymore. How about we finally try to get some loot... and a new buddy. My brother and my stoney friend are dead now... and I'm taking that a lot better then your death back when you died hahaha." Lucky then yells out to... well everywhere, "Hey Badass guy... where ever your at. Wanna team up with me?"
Yell out to wherever Badassitude is at. Then go pick up that glowing purple hat. If attacked, have Lilia attack them and I'll focus on dodging them. From now on this is my new counter plan.
You yell to Badassitude, but he doesn't seem to notice you in his bloodlust, so you just walk over and pick up the hat, while Lilia flies in lazy circles over your head, ready to defend you at a moment's notice.
Graaah
Secret
FGHFHFHGGSFAGSGSFSFD DEX PENALTIES WHY DID I PICK THEM
( Well damn, my sneaky kill steal didn't work. )
If Min Max attacks The Rock, counter with the devastating golden horseshoe to the skull
maneuver, if not, help Badassitude kill stuff.
Counter Min Max's pre counter counter by countering him in the face before he gets to his bug with
the devastating golden horseshoe to the skull counter maneuver.
( Well damn, my sneaky kill steal didn't work. )
If Min Max attacks The Rock, counter with the devastating golden horseshoe to the skull
maneuver, if not, help Badassitude kill stuff.
((YOU CAN'T MESS WITH MIN MAX AND GET AWAY WITH IT YO))
"WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KILL ME! I JUST GOT HERE, GEES! Oh, hello there... Ant? So... I can just climb on you?
Min Max hops on the bug and counter's The Rock's counter counter with a pre-counter, hopefully killing him!
"NOOOOO" Sir Badassitude yells when Alani plummets out of the sky and hits the ground. Sir Badassitude has had enough bullshit for today. With a slight appearance of melancholy, he furiously slashes repeatedly at Minmax, not even worrying about hitting a critical area. (Max attack DEX)
(Grubson dex: 3-6)
(Rock dex: 6+5)
(Minmax dex: 6+6)
(Badassitude dex: 6+1)
(Minmax dex: 3+6)
(Ant dex: 3)
(Rock dex: 5+5)
(Rock dex: 6+5)
(Minmax dex: 5+6)
(Ant dex: 1)
(Rock str: 2+1)
(Ant end: 1)
(Ant str: 6+2)
(Minmax str: 3+6)
(Badassitude dex: 2+1+2)
(Minmax dex: 6+6)
(Ant dex: 1-1)
(Badassitude str: 5+3-4)
(Ant end: 2)
Minmax vaults onto his ant, and brandishes his hammer while charging at The Rock, who narrowly dodges the insect's jaws and the spiked hammer, before bashing the ant square in the face with the horseshoe, crushing one of its antennae and sending it into a frenzy. Despite its wild leaps and tosses, Minmax manages to avoid being thrown to the ground. Seeing this opportunity, Badassitude charges in, swinging his scythe wildly, managing to catch the ant's mandibles with the blade of the weapon, cutting them completely off. Yellow ichor drips from the wound, and the scythe lets loose a maniacal chuckle as the badass prepares to swing again, while Grubson slowly lumbers towards the fray, his arms outstretched towards The Rock as if offering a hug.
MAPSir Badassitude(yellow):Fan-scythe. Legs sprouting from shoulders, angry rat stuck to hand
Vodka(orange):Steel eye-armor. Strong
Min Max(red):Smelly hammer. Body made of lucky wood. Riding a yellow giANT
Lucky(pink):Legwing Lilia, anti-magic hat. Missing right eye
Henry(blue):Mittensh
G.C.(purple):Pimpin' steel cannon
The Rock(black):Lucky horseshoe
'Tough Bastard' Grubson(white):Nothing