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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 700673 times)

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #735 on: August 03, 2014, 02:38:46 am »

A guy walks up to one of the caretakers of the local cemetary and asks him "do you dig graves?"
The second man thinks for a m9memt and replies "Yeah man, they're groovy"
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tahujdt

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #736 on: August 03, 2014, 08:26:22 am »

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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #737 on: August 03, 2014, 12:35:24 pm »

Surprised nobody has done an Aristocrats! joke.

Ok, a guy walks into a talent agency and asks if he knows of any places that would book his family's act
"Well," says the talent agent "describe the act to me and I'll see what I can do"
"Ok," says the guy, " it starts out with me taking a dump, only the toilet is too small: it's a toilet from a dollhouse, and the shit overflows from it and piles up on top.  Meanwhile my brother rides in on a horse, but it's a fake horse made of ice, pulled in on a cart, and his balls are stuck to it because he isn't wearing any pants. Now, the horse is fake, but it's got a compartment in the back filled with real horse shit, and once my brother manages to get unstuck he takes the horse shit and goes into the audience and offers people money to eat it, and whether they eat it or not he buzzes a loud airhorn in their ears after he's done talking to them. Meanwhile my son comes onstage with a real horse and jacks it off onto the ground. Then my wife comes onstage and I pick up my shit from before and drop it on her head. After this, a car pulls onto the stage. We all bow and get into the car , but before it pulls away my cousin comes in from offstage and dumps a bunch 0f anacondas in through the sunroof."
"Good god!"exclaims the agent "Do you have a name for this...act!?"
"The Aristocrats" reples the guy
The talent agent shakes his head, "Actually... actually it doesn't matter anyway. Dickhouse Productions would sue both of us for infringement if you did any of that."
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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #738 on: August 03, 2014, 12:57:45 pm »

And now for more terrible and mostly incomprehensible WoW jokes.

Why did the PvP'er cross the road? Because he was feared.
Why did the Hunter cross the road? Feign Death was on cooldown.
Why did the Gnome cross the road? He was riding the chicken.
Why did the Mage cross the road? He didn't, he just missclicked on blink.
Why did the Warrior cross the road? He was charging at the hunter.
Why did the Shaman cross the road? To get away from the Death Knight.
Why did the Death Knight cross the road? The Shaman had a glyphed Grounding Totem.

Why did the Druid fall off his ladder? He wasn't specced into Balance.

Rogues do it from behind.
Paladins do it with Protection.
Warriors do it angrily.
Druids do it like animals.
Hunters do it with animals.
Warlocks scare everyone away.
Death Knights do it with corpses.
Mages do it slowly.
Shaman do it with Totems.
Priests do it in groups.
Monks do it while you're incapacitated.

So have you guys seen Illidan's new shoes? No, yeah, neither has he.

So a gnome asked me if he could borrow a few gold earlier today, I asked him if he was a little short. And that is why I only have one testicle.

I saw a group of 25 people killing a bunch of crocolisks earlier today. Must have been a gator raid.

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kaenneth

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #739 on: August 03, 2014, 05:14:46 pm »

Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Man and woman sit close on bench to protect from cold. Woman ask "what you like more, me or potato?" Man answer "you". Woman not believe and ask why. Man say "because potato just dream. You not." But is no man. Woman hallucinate from starve.

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #740 on: August 03, 2014, 05:35:49 pm »

kaenneth, those are terrible.

And now for more terrible and mostly incomprehensible WoW jokes.
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Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #741 on: August 03, 2014, 06:12:11 pm »

So a Latvian man has a potato...
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Worldmaster27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #742 on: August 03, 2014, 06:25:57 pm »

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #743 on: August 03, 2014, 07:02:49 pm »

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #744 on: August 03, 2014, 07:25:42 pm »

Why did the penguin cross the road?

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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #745 on: August 03, 2014, 07:52:44 pm »

"In post 9-11 America your computer keeps files on you"
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hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #746 on: August 03, 2014, 08:31:45 pm »

Offensive jokes?

Offensive jokes.

What's black on white?

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What's white on black?

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Redzephyr01

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #747 on: August 03, 2014, 08:37:54 pm »

knock, knock
"Who is there?"
"Dave."
"Dave who?"
Dave began to cry when he realized his grandmother's Alzheimers had progressed to the stage where she no longer recognized her only grandson.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2014, 08:44:41 pm by Redzephyr01 »
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #748 on: August 03, 2014, 08:40:51 pm »

Alright, a man walks into a bar.

He buys a beer, drinks it, and leaves.
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hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #749 on: August 03, 2014, 08:57:49 pm »

Knock, knock
"Who's there?"
"Cthul."
"Cthul who?"
"f'thagn. Iä! Iä!"
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