Surprised nobody has done an Aristocrats! joke.
Ok, a guy walks into a talent agency and asks if he knows of any places that would book his family's act
"Well," says the talent agent "describe the act to me and I'll see what I can do"
"Ok," says the guy, " it starts out with me taking a dump, only the toilet is too small: it's a toilet from a dollhouse, and the shit overflows from it and piles up on top. Meanwhile my brother rides in on a horse, but it's a fake horse made of ice, pulled in on a cart, and his balls are stuck to it because he isn't wearing any pants. Now, the horse is fake, but it's got a compartment in the back filled with real horse shit, and once my brother manages to get unstuck he takes the horse shit and goes into the audience and offers people money to eat it, and whether they eat it or not he buzzes a loud airhorn in their ears after he's done talking to them. Meanwhile my son comes onstage with a real horse and jacks it off onto the ground. Then my wife comes onstage and I pick up my shit from before and drop it on her head. After this, a car pulls onto the stage. We all bow and get into the car , but before it pulls away my cousin comes in from offstage and dumps a bunch 0f anacondas in through the sunroof."
"Good god!"exclaims the agent "Do you have a name for this...act!?"
"The Aristocrats" reples the guy
The talent agent shakes his head, "Actually... actually it doesn't matter anyway. Dickhouse Productions would sue both of us for infringement if you did any of that."