Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Cthulhu]

Q.what did batman say to robin before they got in the car


A.get in the car

God damn.  Yes.

I went to a Mobius strip club once but I didn't know what the boundaries were with the dancers..

[Helgoland]

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

[dei]

If you go here, you will find jokes that fulfill pretty much all of the definitions of terrible.

That's not terrible. That's just plain stupid. It doesn't even warrant a dead baby joke as some means of retaliation.

[Korbac]

Team Fortress 2 Joke I found earlier:

Q. Why did the spy cross the road?
A. He didn't; he "never really was on your side."

[SeriousConcentrate]

OK, that one's bad but I kind of like it. XD

[ChairmanPoo]

[Finn]

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Daisy.

Daisy who..?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Daisy me rollin', dey hatin'...

[Machiavelli]

After living in Japan for a year

[Helgoland]

While I'm usually all for cannibalism, I don't think that's the joke here - care to explain?

[USEC_OFFICER]

According to Western culture/jokes/what-have-you, the Japanese swap their r's and l's. Does that help?

[Starver]

It's leary vely lacist.  Lesist steleotypes and emproy leason in dearings with the olient!

[The Darkling Wolf]

Stuff like that really isn't funny.
It's just razy lacism.

[Helgoland]

How many Epicureans does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

None-they're too busy taking advantage of the darkness!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

These are copypasta - there's some great philosophy jokes (proofs for p!) here.

[Zrk2]

That last one was great.

[ragman le bon]

Give a philosophy student a glass of limeade
And he will say is this a glass of limeade?
And if so why is this a glass of limeade
And after a while he'll die of thirst

(lyrics from a Half Man Half Biscuit song. Not a joke obviously, just thought it appropriate)