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[Reelya]

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" the song.

[Dutchling]

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he says to his wife. "No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies. Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them. "Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." "It's raining, of course" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on. But the woman insists, "I know that felt like snow." To which the man quietly says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Какого хрена это значит?

[Avis-Mergulus]

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he says to his wife. "No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies. Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them. "Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." "It's raining, of course" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on. But the woman insists, "I know that felt like snow." To which the man quietly says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Какого хрена это значит?

Что-то там про оленя Рудольфа, у коего красный нос.

[Reelya]

It's definitely a joke you couldn't translate out of English, because of the pun, plus it's an American song.

[Comrade P.]

It's definitely a joke you couldn't translate out of English, because of the pun, plus it's an American song.

That's for sure.
However, sometimes one cannot define whether it rains or it snows in Moscow, that's the true part of the joke.

[Avis-Mergulus]

So, d'you know what a 6.9 is?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A good time interrupted by a period.

[Yoink]

What is Satan's favourite pet?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A sinsilla.

[Arx]

Today I learnt that Yoink is a spoiler. 

[Yoink]

Hey, hey guys, I have a terrible joke for you: my post formatting. >.>

[Dutchling]

What's the worst thing to do to a blind person?

Put them in a circular room and tell them their cup of tea is in the corner.

I've heard that one before, but with a Belgian and some candy.

[Helgoland]

I heard about multiculturalism in this thread?

What's the difference between [X] and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an [X].

Replace [X] as you like.

[Ghazkull]

so im not sure if people get angry if i post some specific ones but i have some french jokes..propably they were already posted in those 44 pages...but meh lets try anyway.

Spoiler:  Warning French Jokes, if you are easily offended dont open (click to show/hide)

Why are all roads to Paris parkways? So German Tanks can drive in the shadow.
Why are French tanks outfitted with rear mirrors? So they can see the Front.
How many gears has a French tank? 5. 4 going in reverse and 1 ahead in case the enemy attacks from behind.
What are 1 Million hands raised into the air? The French Grandé Armée
What does an ebay article say on French guns? - Completely new, never used, only dropped once.

ah and then there is this one:

Obama, Merkel and Putin walk down the French Coast. At some point Obama starts bragging about american submarines. "Hah our submarines can stay below surface for 5 years without ever needed to resupply." To which Putin only laughs and says "That's nothing! Russian submarines can stay below surface for 10 years without ever needing to resupply." Merkel meanwhile only grins silently and the three walk a few more steps before suddenly an ancient german u-boat surfaces directly in front of them. A Hatch springs open and a soldiers jumps out of it screaming: "Heil Hitler! We need more Diesel!"

Here have another evil one:

6 [X] walk down a road. Suddenly a Mercedes drives over two of them. The Mercedes was financed by a loan from Volksbank-Raiffeisenbank (german bank). Whats their motto? - Volksbank-Raiffeisenbank, we clear the way.
4[X] continue down the road as suddenly a Ford hits and runs two more of them. Whats the motto of Ford? Ford feel the difference.
2[X] are remaining and the one says to the other. "Okay you walk on the right side of the road and i on the left side so we can't be hit at the same time. They do so and suddenly a Toyota drives by and kill both of them. Whats the Motto of Toyota? Toyota, nothing is impossible.

okay that are all those i dare tell without massively offending people or breaking forum rules. Apologies if anybody has been offended anyway.

[Dutchling]

Komt een vis bij de dokter.
De dokter zegt: "Oh ik zei het al, uit de kom!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Reelya]

What's the worst thing to do to a blind person?

Put them in a circular room and tell them their cup of tea is in the corner.

I've heard that one before, but with a Belgian and some candy.

Irish version is known here:

how do you confuse an Irishman?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Put them in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner

Or

how do you confuse an Irishman?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Show him 3 shovels and tell him to take his pick

Another Irish joke

Paddy and Mick, two unemployed Irish lumberjacks were walking along when they saw a sign which said "Tree Fellers wanted".
Paddy said "we should go for those jobs!"
Mick said "no way, they want Tree Fellers, and there's only two of us!"

[Arx]

I know this one as Paddy and Mick, but insert appropriate group as liked:

Paddy and Mick decide to buy a horse each. So, they go out and buy them, but then Paddy hits on an unexpected snag.
"How are we going to tell them apart?"

"I know!" Mick responds. "I'll get one's tail bobbed."

But due to an accident, both horses end up with their tails bobbed. The two Irishmen are very confused by this, and decide to leave it for a while to think. Some time later, Mick has another stroke of genius:

"I know! I'll take the dun one, and you can take the gray!"