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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 557031 times)

TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #450 on: November 06, 2012, 04:07:12 pm »

Look for the files. If see zoologists, proceed with previous action.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #451 on: November 06, 2012, 04:10:01 pm »

Counter attack!!!! Kill them all!!!.

(( No endurance bonus for being made of metal? Damn :). ))

((Well, at least know that it wouldn't have made a difference. The only way these dudes can harm Leon (Leon being immune to slashing, piercing and blunt weaponry, meaning pretty much any weapon) is if they roll fives, which two of them did. Besides, even if you got an endurance bonus it would be counteracted by your dodge penalty. Today's retcon being yes, that's totally what happened. I didn't make that up just now.))
« Last Edit: November 06, 2012, 04:11:36 pm by Harry Baldman »
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mesor

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #452 on: November 06, 2012, 04:12:36 pm »

(( Ahhh ok, what are the +1 for on my soon to be dead enemies? ))
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OREOSOME

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #453 on: November 06, 2012, 04:13:50 pm »

Um... Use bluffing to somehow beat the statue!
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Ow! How the fuck do eldritch abominations bitchslap people?
With our pimp tentacles, obviously.

Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #454 on: November 06, 2012, 04:54:37 pm »

Samuel will clickity clackity into the village, and find that dungeon!
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #455 on: November 06, 2012, 04:59:18 pm »

Look around, enjoy my surroundings, and look for those damn books.
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #456 on: November 06, 2012, 05:48:04 pm »

Attempt to disarm and kill the knight.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #457 on: November 07, 2012, 01:05:56 am »

Somewhere...

Samuel is not about to let some pesky village get in the way of his adventuring experience! The dungeons, they must be found!

[Search roll: 2]

Damnation! There isn't one! There appears to be a severe lack of dungeons in this area in general. Samuel mutely curses while confused villagers look on!

[Reaction roll: 4]

It appears they are too confused to say or do anything with Samuel! One raises his hand, but then immediately lowers it!


Inside the Library...

There was a task given, and Jordan aims to complete it to the best of his abilities!

[Search roll: 1]

He runs into a motley band of peevish librarians while examining the tasteful decor around the place!


In the vicinity of death and horror...

Alaric feels slightly less good about his odds! Time to bluff his way out of this!

[Bluff roll: 6]
[Ghostly Ventriloquism roll: 5]

He throws his voice and makes it boom from a nearby forest!

"CEASE PICKING ON MY MINIONS! IF YOU ARE SO TOUGH, COME ON OVER HERE AND FACE ME!"

The statue looks thoughtfully at the forest.

"I WILL GO AND LOOK OVER THERE FOR A BIT. I EXPECT YOU TO STILL BE HERE WHEN I GET BACK. KILL YOU LATER."

[Marcus magic roll: 4+1]

The statue speedily flies off to the woods!

"Why didn't you kick that fucker's ass, spirit?"


Inside a monastery full of knights...

Vincent sees no alternative but fighting in this situation! He attempts to disarm the knight!

[Disarming: Vincent vs. Knight Sister: 1+1 vs. 1+1]

He attempt to pull the warhammer out of the knight's hands, but she just pulls it back slightly when he reaches for it! She starts swinging the warhammer!

[Knight Sister vs. Vincent: 6+2 vs. 4+1]

She attempts to strike at Vincent's arm and succeeds quite amazingly! Vincent's forearm is pulverized by the attack!


Near a camp of some kind...

As the two men attempt to swing at him once more, Leon tries to counterattack with all four of his limbs at once!

[Leon vs. Man 1: 4+1 vs. 6+1]
[Leon vs. Man 2: 5+1 vs. 4+1]

One of his halberd feet pierces a man in the foot! There's a bit of bleeding! The other man, however, dodges like a ballet dancer on magical stimulants!

[Man 1 vs. Leon: 6+1 vs 5-1]
[Man 2 vs. Leon: 2+1 vs. 1-1]

Both men hit Leon, but their overly enthusiastic swings either clink off Leon's shell or are too weak to do any real damage!

[Woman vs. Leon: 1+1 vs. 3]

An arrow flies past the group, narrowly missing one of the man!

"Be careful with that, will you?"


Inside the Magical Zoology Department...

James must find those files! They are more important than life itself!

[Search roll: 1]

He finds the file room! It's full of hybrid beaver-goats that have eaten all of the papers! And the file cabinets as well! Well, maybe there are zoologists around?

[Search roll: 5]

Yes, there are! A whopping three zoologists inside the Head Zoologist's office!

[James speech roll: 1-2]

James opens the door and runs inside screaming!

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

"Oh, dammit. It's him again. Guess we'll have to kill him!"

[Animal summoning roll: 3]

A beaver-goat answers the man's call and attacks James!

[Beavergoat vs. James: 4+1 vs. 1-1]

James is taken completely by surprise and gets his left arm chewed off by the awful thing!
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Thecard

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #458 on: November 07, 2012, 01:19:31 am »

Aaand you're back to being killed by animals.  Seriously, Random.org must hate you guys.
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I think the slaughter part is what made them angry.
OOC: Dachshundofdoom: This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with goddamn VUVUZELAS.
Those hookers aren't getting out any time soon, no matter how many fancy gadgets they have :v

TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #459 on: November 07, 2012, 03:18:31 am »

Flee outside! There is no point staying without papers!
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #460 on: November 07, 2012, 06:59:20 am »

Rush her and get right up in her face and disarm her from there.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

mesor

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #461 on: November 07, 2012, 07:11:17 am »

Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #462 on: November 07, 2012, 09:30:15 am »

Aaand you're back to being killed by animals.  Seriously, Random.org must hate you guys.
((Look at it from the good side, somehow, they managed to all survive so far. By this point in chapter one half of them were in a far worse situation then now))
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Greenstarfanatic

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #463 on: November 07, 2012, 10:26:12 am »

I say, could you fellows point me towards the Anatomy wing?

Hope they answer nicely. Kill them if they don't.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #464 on: November 07, 2012, 10:53:19 am »

Inside the Magical Zoology Department...

James is completely and utterly foiled! There are no papers to be had! Those zoologist bastards, leading him on like they did with their threats and animal flinging! Well, he'll stand for it no more! No papers, no James!

[James escape roll: 2]

Oh my. There doesn't appear to be any exit from the room aside from the one the beavergoat is blocking!

[Beavergoat vs. James: 6+1 vs. 4+1]

James gets bitten in several places, but keeps his other arm!

[Chimp idea roll: 3]

The chimp gives James moral support by making endearing semaphore signals with its six arms!


On the ground near some unusually peeved people...

Leon can't take it anymore! He tries to stab the two nearest people to him!

[Leon vs. Man 1: 3 vs. 6+1]
[Leon vs. Man 2: 2 vs. 4+1]

He misses both through some unfortunate twist of fate (perhaps the fact that they seem to be able to easily get out of his reach)!

The men strike back!

[Man 1 vs. Leon: 3+1 vs. 2]
[Man 2 vs. Leon: 3+1 vs. 1]

Both men bring their axes down simultaneously, but it does absolutely nothing to Leon's shell!

[Morale roll: 6]

They resolve to chop harder next time!

[Woman vs. Leon: 6+1 vs. 1]

Suddenly, an arrow hits Leon in the chest at a horrifying speed! It explodes into shrapnel!

[Shrapnel roll: 2]

The men around Leon are vaguely irritated!

"Will you stop that already? You'll kill us!"

"But I want to help too! You killed most of the peasants, when am I going to get a turn?"

"Just stop it already! You get first crack at the next twenty peasants, okay?"

"Okay!"


Inside a monastery...

Vincent is determined to loot something! Even a warhammer, if need be! He goes for another disarm!

[Disarming: Vincent vs. Knight Sister: 3+1 vs. 4+1]

He leaps at her with the intent of getting past swinging range! He attempts some grappling moves, but the knight seems less than impressed! She kicks Vincent back into the corner and swings for a kill!

[Knight Sister vs. Vincent: 5+2 vs. 3+2]

Vincent deflects some of the force in the knight's blow, but it still is enough to crack several of Vincent's ribs!


Inside the Library...

Jordan, noticing that they, however peevish, are still librarians, decides to ask them nicely to point him to the Anatomy Wing!

[Social interaction roll: 6-2]

"I say, could you fellows point me to the Anatomy Wing?"

One of the librarians points down a corridor with a long, bony finger!

"It's not a wing. It's a shelf. And you shouldn't capitalize the words. It's unseemly."

"Thank you kindly, chaps! I'll bear it in mind!"

[Dog idea roll: 1]

The dog snarls at the librarians and attempts to get to them and eat them!

[Jordan strength roll: 2+1]

Jordan holds on as hard as he can to not allow the dog to eat these kind gentlemen! He grabs on to the floor, but the dog is slowly proceeding forward.

"Your dog. Is it rabid?"

"If I'm not, it probably isn't either!"

"Are you rabid?"

"I'm not entirely sure, good chap!"

The librarians quickly back away. The dog calms down!
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