Dreamed that my daughter made a horrible shitlord as a friend. Found out that she only liked him because he gave her money. Lots of money. Hundreds of dollars at a time. These kids are kindergarteners. Daughter brings him home to play one day. He's a horrible little monster. Winds up hurting himself because he wasn't listening to me. Not bad, just a scraped elbow. I bandage him up, and give him a talk. He's fine, but feels guilty. Kids go back to play. I make them mac'n'cheese for dinner. Shitlord takes his and disappears with it. Gives me a perfectly clean bowl with a $100 bill in it. I WTF. Says he knows a magic trick to turn macaroni into $100 bills. I check his pockets, and give him another bowl, tell him to eat it. He disappears again and comes back with another Benjamin in a perfectly clean bowl. Wtf again. Hands me both bills. Daughter also brings me a $100. Says she saw how he did it, and can do it now, too. Shitlord is scared, and begins to cry. Says that now no one will like him. Daughter starts to teach shitlord to be nice. I ask them to show me. I grab the whole pot of macaroni, and daughter leads me to the bathroom. Has me put the pot on the scale. Does magic incantation in gibberish. Nothing happens. Shitlord says that adults can't see it happen. Of course. Let daughter take over. She comes back with $2000, hands it all to me. I get pot from scale, perfectly clean. Order pizza. Plot. Pizza arrives, pay with a hundred, tell the driver to check for counterfeit. Real money, strip and all. Hand sriver another, tell him to share with coworkers. Shitlord has never seen compassion. He gets picked up by a woman in a cocktail dress driving a Lamborghini. Doesn't want to pick up shitlord. I offer to let him stay overnight. That's fine. Kid is excited. We go shopping. Buy kid pajamas. Kid has never picked anything out for himself before. They go to sleep. Get online, order industrial scale, large quantities of macaroni. Overnight shipping. Kids make shitloads of money. I buy them stuff. Shitlord never gets toys. They just make him make money, but not lately, just ignore him. Drop shitlord at home. No real choice. Bigass mansion. Spell was family secret. Go home. Promise to never treat daughter like that. She knows we're poor, says it's OK if we do. She sees industrial equipment, gets excited. Says she wants to buy lots of stuff. Have her make shitloads of money. Teach her to save and be responsible. Still treat her as well as I can. Order pizza.
Wake up. Wtf? Post.