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Author Topic: You are a peasant  (Read 7353 times)

Blade Master Model 42

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #45 on: September 07, 2012, 02:09:04 pm »

Beat on the gates until someone opens the gate and lets you in. Or at least comes to see what the fuss is about.

Tsuchigumo550

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #46 on: September 07, 2012, 03:15:55 pm »

Beat on the gates until someone opens the gate and lets you in. Or at least comes to see what the fuss is about.

Failing that, attempt to scale the wall unless it's been smoothed.
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Slayerhero90

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #47 on: September 07, 2012, 05:00:06 pm »

If the gates are made of wood, hack them open with your axe.
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Blade Master Model 42

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #48 on: September 07, 2012, 06:05:00 pm »

If the gates are made of wood, hack them open with your axe.

Not this. We might be mistaken for a shockingly stupid invader.

Duncan_McShal

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #49 on: September 07, 2012, 06:28:37 pm »

We could always sleep in a bush until the light wakes us up then we can go back and tell people we killed a troll so they could let us in as a badass. Show the trophy as proof.
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stabbymcstabstab

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #50 on: September 08, 2012, 09:29:15 am »

Start Screaming for some guards. then tell them about the village and the troll.
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Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #51 on: September 09, 2012, 12:33:21 pm »

Surprisingly, you decide to simply knock on the door and yell up to the guards. A man wearing a helmet and leather jerkin eventually pokes his head over the battlements and yells down at you that the city is closed for the night. They're not going to go through all the effort to open the gate and close it again, just to let in some stupid peasant who got locked outside. You can just wait there till morning.

You yell back up to him that you're on a vitally important mission to warn the kingdom of a goblin invasion. Also, you killed a troll! You hold up the fingernail horns as proof.

The guard says he's impressed. And goes to fetch "the cap'n." Several minutes pass. Eventually the gate opens. You walk into the city. The street is empty, but you see many shops and stands that are no doubt bustling with commerce during the day. A tavern is nearby. You can see the glow of candles and a large fireplace coming through the windows. It sounds like people are up and having a good time, even at this time of night. The gate closes behind you.

A man in chainmail approaches you. He carries a bow, has a sword on his belt, and quiver of arrows on his back. He introduces himself, "Greetings, I am Bruce, captain of the night watch of the royal city of Picklington. What is your name and the purpose of your visit? Also, do you smell of troll?"

Ah, your name. Well, your actual name isn't really important, since everyone who knew it is dead now anyway. You could make us something totally badass for yourself and nobody would know the difference! So, what is your name? And what do you want to do?

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 09, 2012, 12:38:46 pm by Urist McDwarfFortress »
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Slayerhero90

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #52 on: September 09, 2012, 12:41:10 pm »

Your name is ZOOSMELL POOPLORD Samuel Gress or something...
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Tsuchigumo550

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #54 on: September 09, 2012, 04:15:38 pm »

Just because I'm a techhead I vote Samuel Gauss. You don't know why it's awesome, but people who read about you in history books might.
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There are words that make the booze plant possible. Just not those words.
Alright you two. Attempt to murder each other. Last one standing gets to participate in the next test.
DIRK: Pelvic thrusts will be my exclamation points.

Duncan_McShal

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #55 on: September 09, 2012, 04:30:12 pm »

Samual Gauss will work. Also we should say that were a survivor of a goblin raid on our villiage and that were boss because we killed a troll. After showing him the horn we ask him if he'll join us for a brew.
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Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #56 on: September 10, 2012, 03:54:48 pm »

"I am Samuel Gress," you proclaim. Captain Bruce doesn't look impressed. You continue, "I witnessed a goblin army attack and destroy my village today!" This gets his attention. "I was out in the woods and was unaware of the attack until it was too late. Castle Delninar has fallen! The Confederacy of Pickling is under attack! The King must know of this invasion against our "glorious" nation!"

..."Oh, also, I killed a troll on my way here," you hold up the horns as proof.

The guard captain is stunned for a second and then tells you to follow him. He leads you up the winding main street of Picklington to a magnificent stone palace. This is the seat of the Confederacy of Pickling, the very heart of your nation. Captain Bruce speaks quickly and quietly to a few people and you are soon ushered into a waiting room. The room has a roaring fireplace directly opposite to a set of wooden door beautifully inlaid with golden designs. Several well-crafted candlesticks protrude from the wall. There are a number of chairs arranged around the room. A bowl of apples sits on a table and the guard at the golden door tells you to help yourself. You do, and finish off most of the apples. That hit the spot!

Suddenly the great doors open and you see the throne room itself. It is a massive room, with a carpet leading down the center to the throne. There are great stone statues lining the carpet which stand like guardians that you must walk between in order to approach the throne. The throne itself is set up several steps higher than the rest of the room. A huge navy blue banner hangs all the way from the ceiling to almost touch the floor behind the throne. On the banner is a gold picture of a throne, the symbol of the Confederacy of Pickling.

You are snapped out of your admiration of the room, when you suddenly become aware of the man sitting on the throne. He is tall, with a long, white beard. He looks very strong, despite being obviously quite old. He is wearing a very nice red gown. Several other men crowd around behind the throne asking questions of the man kneeling at the base of the steps leading up to it. The guard at the gate takes your axe and tells you to go up to the steps and kneel. You do so.

Everyone looks at you curiously as you approach. You see that the man kneeling before the throne is Captain Bruce. He looks quite nervous, and is obviously relieved to see you. "My Liege!" he says, "This is the peasant who tells of the attack on Delninar. My lords, I present Samuel Gress!"

*gulp* You've never been formally introduced before. You kneel next to Bruce and look up at the men before you. All of these men look dressed like royalty except a huge man in armor. "Yes. My lords. That is what I have witnessed," you finally manage. Suddenly, everyone begins talking at once. "Who were these goblins? Are they Shadow of Itching or the Lewd Vomit?" someone asks. "How many of them were there?" asks another. "Have the scouts been dispatched yet?" "Where is Duke Jarin?" "The Axes of Courage have guaranteed our alliance, a messenger should be sent there immediately!"

Some of these questions are flung at you, while many are being passed around the group. You start to answer several times, but you don't want to interrupt any of these great lords of men. The King rubs his forehead and looks quite tired and annoyed. He slowly stands. "SILENCE!" The hall instantly becomes deathly quiet, which is kind of cool.

"You! Peasant! How many goblins did you see in the army?" the King asks you.
"I-I'm not sure," You stammer a little under the King's gaze. "Some hundred, I would guess. They appeared to have overrun the castle guards with ease... My Lord!" You almost forgot that last part! You're pretty sure it would be shockingly rude of a lowly peasant to address the King without this honorific.
The King smiles a bit at your near-gaff. Then returns to his serious expression. "Thomas!" he turns to the huge man wearing chainmail over a leather shirt. "Dispatch scouts towards Delninar, I need to know what we're dealing with." "YES MY LORD!" Thomas bellows. He leaves, but comes back a few minutes later.
The King turns his gaze back on you. He asks you several more questions and some of his advisers eventually join in. You tell them all you know about the goblin army and the defense of the castle. He discusses the options with his advisers. A young man wearing a brilliant purple robe and a silver circlet on his head finally declares, "Well, we're agreed, we must gather as many forces here as we can, the goblins could be here in the morning!" "Yes my Prince," says Thomas. "Captain Bruce, take Samuel to the guards barracks, tell the head guardsman to dispatch his riders to all the lands east of here. I'll meet you there."

Bruce stands and pulls you up with him. You both bow and turn to leave.

"Samuel!" the King says. "Thank you for this warning! You've done our nation a great service." You bow deeply and leave.

The guard hands you back your axe as you leave.

At the guard barracks, Bruce wakes and talks to some of the other officers. The whole barracks is soon bustling with activity. You are exhausted and fall asleep.

You awake after only an hour or less of sleep to find Thomas standing over you. "I hear you had to fight your way through a troll on the way here," he says.
You nod.
"Good man!" He slaps you on the back. It hurts a lot. "By the way, I'm General Thomas Cartwright. But just call me Thomas, everybody does, even the King." Thomas smiles, then his face becomes serious again. "Look, the King and council are worried that the goblin army in on its way here. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. We won't know for sure for several more hours. So we're gathering all of our forces here. Better safe than sorry, am I right?!"
You nod.
"The problem is, this plan leaves our lands to the north of Delninar open to attack. The Castle Frinardus is directly to the north of there. If this is a raid, I could see the goblins going there for another easy victory. Even worse, last we heard, Duke Jarin, the Lord of Frinardus, was off on a hunting trip! He likely won't even know his lands are under attack! They must be warned, but I have been ordered to have all my men stand ready to defend Picklington. You are not one of my men, therefore, I'd like to hire you to go to Castle Frinardus, warn them of the possible attack, and help them defend the fortress. If all goes well, they only have to hold the walls for a day or two before our army arrives." He looks intently at you. "I know you've already done much to help our kingdom, and I would understand if you say no. But if you say yes, you could help save many lives. I'll give you a while to think about it."

What do you do?

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
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Sorry, for a moment there I forgot we were all psychopaths.
Someone who has random urges to make mog juice isn't exactly going to care about the cost effectiveness of obtaining it.

Slayerhero90

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #57 on: September 10, 2012, 04:46:55 pm »

Ask if they have better equipment.
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Blade Master Model 42

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #58 on: September 10, 2012, 04:56:02 pm »

Ask if they have better equipment.

Make sure to bargain for a really nice pair of boots before inevitably accepting.

Duncan_McShal

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Re: You are a peasant
« Reply #59 on: September 10, 2012, 05:07:40 pm »

We will of course agree to such a quest, we should ask if we could have a better axe and some rations for our journey there. We also ask him to drink with us before we go.
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