Fuck. What a fucking hangover. What the fuck happened.
"Hey you. What the fuck happened?"
"Huh?" The suika blinked at me, as if he were expected to recount the weeks' events for me. Yes I bloody expect you to, fuckhead.
"Yes I bloody expect you to recount the weeks' events for me, fuckhead."
"W-well, uh," the suika twisted her hair, struggling to recall what happened. I think she got as bad a hangover as I did, "well, migrants arrived!"
"Good," I replied, "how many fucktards were there?"
"I don't know."
"What the fuck do you mean."
"Well, when they arrived a bunch of undead sprung up on them."
"And? Weren't our markssuikas on duty?"
"Well, no. Because when we told you about the migrants you said something about "letting them motherfuckers die like a pieces of shit they were.""
Fuck.
"It got worse though."
"What? How the fuck can it get worse? Our migrants just fucking dropped dead easy."
"The zombies got riled up or something, went down our traders route."
"Let me guess, we forgot to smash them."
"Ah no, it worked. Just a teensy bit problem."
This conversation isn't leading to anywhere good. Fuck I should've just got even more drunk the moment I sobered up.
"The kappas were moving you see and uh.."
I fucking knew it.
"...We kind of squashed some of them. The wagons got out though, and they still had enough warriors to drive out the undead outside the trader ramps."
Pictured: Kappa warrior running away from his own caravan to a glorious death.
Okay. That sounds a little better.
"I'm going to get drunk," I informed her, "tell me when something happens."
She didn't stop me, probably because she wanted to get drunk too. Everyone here is a drunken fuck. This place should just be called drunk fortress or something, but something tells me that I would be treading a pretty thin line there.
_______________
Parsees arrived. Just right next to the trader route too. Fucking brilliant.
I'm telling the fucktards to get whatever crafts we have left. For some reason our legendary stone crafter isn't willing to craft more shit; just lounging about doing nothing.
I don't know what happened, but some scumbag zombies got in as well.
Haha! What did I tell you gappy, eh? THEM TRAPS WERE FUCKING USEFUL AFTER ALL!