Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hanslanda]

226d: ... Unless you're a total badass. Then its hilarious fun to butcher everything in a whole civ. Except the yaks. Goddamn yaks.

[DrPoo]

225. Do not attack stray llamas. Your companions will kill you if you do.

225b. Do not attack stray llamas with the (tame) tag in their name. Your companions will object to you killing their livestock and end your pitiful existence.

Plus you will be swarmed by cats and geese.

257: Stay the fuck out of the way when your companions ambush a pack of [feline or canine pack hunting animal], even if they are dying, you shouldnt attempt to save them, they are proably fucked up so much right now that they wouldnt make a good help in the battle anyway, leave them there and continue onwards yourself, you will be fine.

[Eric Blank]

258: Everything between 226d and 257 was a lie.

259: Even if the bandits don't try killing you, because you're a hero to everyone, even them, they will have no problem butchering your companions in their sleep.

260: If your party really is ambushed by a horde of bandits that are friendly to you but murder your companions, recruit them! They ahve more combat experience!

261: If you recruited a horde of bandits, lead them into the heart of a marketpalce and admire the havoc they create. The townspeople will be too stupid to recognize you as their leader and you'll remain on good terms with them.

[Hanslanda]

262: Listen to everything Eric Blank says very carefully. There will be a test later.

[Joben]

203.  Going in a full blown assault on a tower with only two other soldiers is a great way to die a slow horrible death.

203b Bringing companions to help you assault a tower is like fighting a fire by throwing wood at it.

[sisok]

259. Use a crutch before you need it.

[Sauerkrautron]

263: Despite what your survival handbook may say, Giraffes are highly skilled at breaking legs with wrestling maneuvers.

[Facekillz058]

264. Just because you destroyed all the Kobolds in that sewer, there will be one at the end that WILL either kill or cripple you.

264b. That farmer companion will do just fine though.

[lignition]

203.  Going in a full blown assault on a tower with only two other soldiers is a great way to die a slow horrible death.

203b Bringing companions to help you assault a tower is like fighting a fire by throwing wood at it.

203c Unless you're a vampire. Then it's just more combat experience.

[Eric Blank]

203d. If you're a vampire, assaulting a tower will result in being ignored by the undead, and probably also the necromancers, so getting combat experience out of it will demand a lot torture for your keyboard and fingers, as they all remain friendly whilst you attack them, with little gain per keypress.
265. Rivers hate your guts.

[lignition]

265b. Rivers can also freeze and develop currents at will.

[misko27]

265b. Rivers can also freeze and develop currents at will.

YES. THIS. Rivers are evil. I'm doing great, adventuring and sucessful and stuff. I come to a river. I try to walk to the other side. BOOM, I've collided with a wall, brain bruised. dead.

[lignition]

265b. Rivers can also freeze and develop currents at will.

YES. THIS. Rivers are evil. I'm doing great, adventuring and sucessful and stuff. I come to a river. I try to walk to the other side. BOOM, I've collided with a wall, brain bruised. dead.

265c. Even if the river doesn't kill you, a fish will swim out and bite your arm off.

[Eric Blank]

265d. Hippos, crocodiles, and alligators are also common in rivers, and all of them are significantly more dangerous than the fish.

[Monk321654]

266. Don't EVER try to teach yourself to swim with no prior skill.
Especially in 7/7 water.
You'll drown.