TURN THREE!
Shoot dinolasers at Crockett and Irwin!
As the feathery dinosaur trio burst out of the jungle, so do the blasts from their dinolasers! Shooting from the hip as they close with the column of bowienauts, they
...scorch a hole right through
Davy Crockett’s non-severed arm and laserblast a hole in
Steve Irwin’s skull!
Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett:
Broken Right Arm!Wound Acquired: Steve Irwin:
Fractured Skull!Set the nearby trees on fire, in order to prevent the strange feathered thingies from reaching us. Then see to our teams wounds.
Nearly as fast as the feathery dinobeasts is
Archimedes of Syracuse, who quickly swivels his mirror array to the treeline hiding them and
...sets it ablaze! The dinobirds catch fire too! They squawk!
He then moves towards poor blasted
Steve Irwin, stumbling vaguely over some bandages that seem to get caught in his feet but finally getting to the Australian and slinging the bandages round his head.
...At least you can’t see his brains anymore!
”Grarrh rawwrrt!”
Velociraptor S1: distract Paul McCartney!
Velociraptor S2: Clever Girl Paul McCartney!
Meanwhile, at the back of the column of heroes, one of the vicious velociraptors suddenly produces a guitar and starts showing
Paul McCartney a new melody for his latest song!
...Totally distracted, the veteran songwriter/timespace assassin fails to notice as the second raptor leaps out from a nearby bush, flings himself at the Beatle’s six pack
...and penetrates his titanium gutplate a second time!
Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney:
Fractured Lower Intestine!MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT the closest of the newcomers into one of the raptors munching on Paul.
"Argh! Dinolasers in the jungle! Take this, scaly-feathery bastard!" shouts
Davy Crockett, wincing in slight pain as he looks down at the hole in his only natural arm. He reflects that natural limbs are rather overrated.
Taking a slight run up, he readies his Mighty Texas Boot and kicks the burning feathered dinofiend so hard that
...he kicks himself backwards, sailing through the air and landing at the feet of the velociraptor whose face he so recently severed!
"Oh, hello!" he grins, sheepishly.
These velociraptors are fiendishly clever foes! he thinks as he readies himself to be gnawed.
”Ouch.”
Eat Davy Crockett!
”Om nom nom grarrhhw!” shouts the velociraptor with a face, as his light lunch suddenly lands at his colleague and, he’s happy to say, his lover’s feet.
...Once again the faceless dinosaur fails miserably in his attempt to bite
Davy Crockett, but his lover more than makes up for this failure by
...totally severing Davy Crockett’s right leg with one bite!
Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett:
Severed Leg!”Argghhr!”
Brontosaurus: DO A BARREL ROLL!
Nearby, at the front of the column of blood, the dying brontosaurus attempts one last killer blow,
...barrel rolling over off a nearby cliff. He falls hundreds of feet, splattering into tiny bits on the jagged rocks at the bottom!
Paul McCartney WHACKS the same raptor Davy's aiming towards with his guitar!
"Ah, damn you!” rages
Paul McCartney, looking down at the ruined finish on his titanium guts.
"I just had these guts fixed up, you know?"Raising his guitar right above his head, Paul McCartney
...WHACKS it down, totally splitting the clever velociraptor’s skull in two! A tiny, almond sized brain dribbles out as the raptor keels over to the floor!
"Hmm... I had a song for this... Davy, help me get these raptors off and I'll play it for ya'!"Use three of the Brontosaurus' legs as projectiles and wield the other as a weapon and possible replacement left arm against the three newcomers.
”Oh, crikey mates!” wails
Steve Irwin, soaked in brontosaurus blood and relieved at having narrowly escaped crushing-by-barrel-rolling-brontosaurus-corpse.
”Erm!”Stevo reaches down to grab a handful of severed brontosaurus legs,
...hurling one through the air at a nearby tree, dropping another on his foot and, hopping about in pain, wanging one straight through the chest of the burning dinobird that just shot him in the skull! Dinospleen splatters all about as the body falls to the ground!
...Pleased at his marksAustralianship, Steve Irwin gets a firm grip on the last brontosaurus leg and jams it into his left arm stump.
”Crikey! Blimey, mate!” he says, a broad grin of pleasure spreading across his friendly face.
”As good as bleedin’ new!””Grahhrh!”
Finally, Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex, seeing one of the velociraptors eat his new friend’s leg off, charges into the attack, massive drooling jaws at the ready!
...He viciously scratches the velociraptor’s chin!
DinoHITLER’S mum is suspected to be 2km to the north west.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:None.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: +1 to damage rolls against.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP: 96/100] |
Fractured Skull!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. +1 to impressing the ladies. Covered in blood and sick.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard,
KEYBOARD LEG.
Wounds: [HP:43/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Fractured Lower Intestine! |
Clawed Chin! |
Fractured Lower Intestine!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Naked. -1 to melee. -1 to legs.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmlegface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos,
Rocket Mono-Segway.
Wounds: [HP:65/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Broken Right Arm! |
Severed Leg!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status: Covered in sick.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! Edward: 98/100
Torn Ear!Foes:Velociraptor 1: 20/50
Fractured Lower Intestine! |
Severed Face!Velociraptor 2: 20/50
Fractured Legs! |
Exploded Ribs!Velociraptor 3: 50/50
Dinobird 1: 30/35
!!BURNING!!Dinobird 2: 30/35
!!BURNING!!Actions are in initiative order.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 248580 times)