TURN NINE
Paul McCartney plays his secret FROG CHORUS SONG!
"Ol' Archimedes is more important than those tanks. You boys focus on getting him down somehow! I'll distract the JurassoPANZERs with my secret weapon!"Paul McCartney gets out his acoustic guitar!
Falling from the sky
Green raindrops, oh my
My frog chorus is here
To bring musical cheer!
Quickly they arrive
Singing frogs alive
Now I command you, frog chorus
Distract our foes for us!
Singing frogs
Singing frogs
Raining from above
Oh what fun it is to rhyme
On a blazing battlefield, hey!
Singing frogs
Singing frogs
Raining from above
Oh what fun it is to rhyme
As you hop on foes for us!...As Paul comes to the end of his inspiring ditty, the sky darkens once more! It turns a hint of dark grey-green as a cloud passes overhead, and thousands of frogs rain down upon the ground! They venerate McCartney with extreme prejudice, falling to the ground before hopping up to his face and giving it a good hard lick, crowding up upon each other until the force of the adoring mass of amphibian knocks the Last Beatle to the ground! In their passionate idolisation of the famous musician the frogs start to inadvertently trample the poor man, and he begins to struggle to breathe! He starts to swim upwards and outwards of the slimy green ball pit, but then as he gasps for air a frog lodges itself in his mouth!
Hop off the building, grab Stevo by the collar, and OHIO LEAP onto the pteroschmitt! Assist Stevo with subduing it!
...Hopping off the three story building,
Davy Crockett cuts his manly chest!
Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett:
Light Chest Bleeding“Hmm,” he mumbles to himself, landing next to
Steve Irwin.
“That was… less serious than it could have been. Here, Stevo!” he announces loudly,
“Let’s subdue that damn Nazi luftosaur! He’s carrying away our ancient Greek philosopher!”...Davy grabs the startled Aussie by the collar and then uses his terrifying mental strength to picture the air as if filled with water: with water the very same colour and consistency as the mighty Ohio! He wades forth into the air, blasting through the firmament with Steve Irwin dangling beneath him, trailing blood from his manly waxed chest as he blazes an interception course towards the pterowaffic kidnapper!
...Davy Crockett flies upwards at such speed the pteroschmitt is unable to react! He continues up to the apex of his jump, flinging Steve Irwin onto the neck of the Nazi dinosaur before leaping through the air onto the fiend’s Nazi dinosaur head!
Davy Crockett starts assisting Steve with subduing the Nazi dinosaur, elbowing it in the face and punching its eyes!
Wrestle that luftosaur into submission! Tame it for my own usage, with the help of Davy.
Flung into the sky by
Davy Crockett’s mighty mental fortitude,
Steve “Stevo” Irwin suddenly finds himself clinging to the neck of a foul Nazi dinosaur! He gets it in a headlock and starts kneeing it in the ribs in a vaguely erotic fashion!
“D’yer give in? D’yer give in? Come on, you beauty! You’re a feisty one, eh! Oh, crikey mates! I think the pteroschmitt has lost control of himself! He’s going into a dive! I don’t know if the wings can handle it!”...Stevo climbs further up the luftosaur’s neck like an Aussie National Hero shimmying up a coconut tree, and finally reaches its head! He leans in close, and whispers something into the dinosaur’s ear! He leans back, grabbing the fiend by its chin, and finally manages to wrestle the craft out of its dive, flying down low over the frog-stricken
McCartney before looping up and getting into a steady climb!
Mount Acquired! Steve Irwin: Subdued Nazi Pteroschmitt.
...Six turns remaining.
Orbital doom from above. Use the solar laser on the Dinotanks. Use Elemental mathematics to assist myself in landing if that pterosaur somehow can't carry 3 people.
Archimedes wails through the air underneath the giant Nazi pterodactyl cyborg beast, his splendorous although if I remember correctly rather soiled robes flowing in the wind about him. All of a sudden he feels a strong manly hand about his shoulders, and he finds himself being hauled on to the back of the pteroschmitt to find himself face to face with
Davy Crockett!...He immediately sets up his sun ray mirrors on the back of the flying Nazi dinosaur, readying them for action next turn!
Whilst aiming his mirrors, he sees the dinoPANZERS advance: they start raining shells down upon
Paul McCartney’s position! Bits of frog fly in all directions! He is still submerged in writhing living frog flesh though.
Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney:
Light Head Wound!As the trio of Nazi armed beasts approach on the hapless Beatle, they are suddenly distracted, and veer hard to their left!
The frog-covered McCartney can see nothing, but the bowienauts cruising above on the subdued Nazi dinosaur see flashes of lightning! They see a man hurling balls of fire! They see a man with some kind of electrical contraption strapped to the head of a giant charging polar bear! As he stands on the back of the polar bear to pose with his hands apparently on fire, the Nazi tank nearest him bursts into electrical flame, and the dinohead atop its turret keels over and groans to death!
Lightning dances in the air!
INTRODUCING: SPECIAL GUEST STAR!
NIKOLA TESLA: VISIONARY OCD SCIENTIST AND LIGHTNING LOVER!Player: FuzzyZergling
Name: Nikola Tesla, Visionary Scientist
Status: Clean
Inventory: Tesla Coil – currently polar bear-mounted.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Strength of the Mad Scientist,
Master of Electricity,
The Electric Strangler,
Mysophobe
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTMount Acquired! Steve Irwin: Subdued Nazi Pteroschmitt. Six turns remaining.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Three Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to hearing.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:31/75] |
Right Ear Ripped Off!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Three Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. -1 to left leg use. +1 to impressing the ladies.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Wounds: [HP:51/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp! |
Severed Left Leg! |
Light Head Wound!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Three King of the Wild Frontier
Status: In cover (+1 bonus to defence from that direction)
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Armface.
Wounds: [HP:70/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Light Chest BleedingSkills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Three Philosopher
Status: -1 to left arm. Carried by Steve Irwin-controlled armed Nazi pterosaur.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Bent Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Absent Minded! Player: FuzzyZergling
Name: Nikola Tesla, Visionary Scientist
Status: Clean
Inventory: Tesla Coil – currently polar bear-mounted.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Strength of the Mad Scientist,
Master of Electricity,
The Electric Strangler,
Mysophobe On the other hand, I just kicked a tank into a giant nazi robot.
I wanted a [6] to materialise those frogs in the dinoPANZERS thereby frogsploding them or something. Blast.
After six turns the pteroschmitt will start shaking off Stevo’s influence, although he can try to re-wrestle it into submission if he wants. Until then it follows his every command. Unless you roll a [1].
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249439 times)