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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248547 times)

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #105 on: March 02, 2012, 09:05:57 pm »

Attempt to get the mud out of my eyes.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #106 on: March 03, 2012, 06:53:01 am »

Try to bandage the Beatle. Stay on the move.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eleven.
« Reply #107 on: March 03, 2012, 10:16:13 am »

"We're running out of time, lads!"

Attempt to discern the most likely path to Miaow. Then head there.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #108 on: March 04, 2012, 05:54:37 pm »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWELVE

Attempt to get the mud out of my eyes.



As he runs screaming and blind down some distant and foreign corridor, Steve Irwin suddenly has an epiphany. He could stop screaming! He could clean the mud out of his eyes!

He does so, with care, precision, and a slight hint of desperation: communists could be all around, and he wouldn't even know it!

...As he regains his sight, all he sees is another dingy grey corridor and, a few feet away, the heavy steel door he would have run into if it weren't for his sudden epiphany. His friends are nowhere to be seen. He's not even entirely sure which direction his friends might be in.

"Woooo!" he comments, dropping to one knee and staring off into an unknown distance, "This dingy grey corridor is a real treat! You don't get to see many of these nowadays, eh? What a beauty!"

Try to bandage the Beatle. Stay on the move.



"Stay here, lad," advise the dulcet and dignified tones of Davy Crockett's possibly southern drawl, a beacon of homely warmth in a cruel, cold, underground communist world. "Brains, watch over him. I'll get Steve..."

Taking heed of the veteran frontiersman's sensible suggestion, Archimedes of Syracuse sits Paul McCartney down and pulls out his first aid kit. Paul visibly flinches.

"No, no! It's ok! Well... It should be ok... I'm not going to run this time..."

...Fishing out a long and clean looking bandage, Archimedes slowly and carefully mummifies the Last Beatle from waist to chin. Patches of red nearly immediately show through the white, but they don't seem to spread.

"We should keep moving, Paul," suggests the ancient Greek. "Any idea where to?"


Attempt to discern the most likely path to Miaow. Then head there.



"You're damn right, Archimedes. We're running out of time, man! Now, I reckon the fastest way to get to Miaow will be to get on that damn Communist Monorail, hijack the thing, and drive straight up to his front door. Communist dictators ALWAYS have their own personal monorail station – it's so obvious I don't know why we didn't think of it first time round. Come to think of it, I'm sure Davy mentioned something about a map and a route to Miaow. Or perhaps I wasn't even there. Who knows? Let's go, man."

...With a little help from his friendly Greek philosopher's shoulder, Paul McCartney, Last Beatle, stumbles wearily off into the blood spattered grey of the Communist Monorail station. It seems to be deserted except for the Communist Monorail engine and the bowienauts' stolen trailer.

Drop off Paul with Archimedes.  Go retrieve Steve.



"Stay here, lad," mumbles Davy Crockett a little despondently as he prepares to head off on his own down the mud and blood stained concrete corridor towards the cargo elevator. "Brains, watch over him. I'll get Steve..."

Wandering down the corridor, Davy gets to the end and is about to follow the trail of broken door to the right when he hears a strange sound he's never heard before in all his years of wandering the outdoors.

"Ding!"

...Suddenly the cargo elevator's doors open, and out jump three cattybara communists! They appear to be pushing some kind of trolley! And holding submachine guns!


Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #109 on: March 04, 2012, 11:11:59 pm »

"Boone?  Feedin' time."

OHIO LEAP straight at them!  Stab with the knife and chomp with the foot.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #110 on: March 05, 2012, 04:11:59 am »

See if I can open the steel door.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #111 on: March 05, 2012, 11:22:59 am »

Investigate the monorai, try not to get shot. Follow Paul and help him with the monorail.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2012, 12:19:48 pm by 10ebbor10 »
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Twelve.
« Reply #112 on: March 05, 2012, 12:18:47 pm »

Sorry I'm here now.

Paul McCartney ignores his companions taking down the Cattbaras and dashes for the commie-rail. He attempts to hijack it and force it to start.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Thirteen.
« Reply #113 on: March 05, 2012, 05:33:25 pm »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN THIRTEEN

See if I can open the steel door.



“Crikey, that’s not a door, that’s a challenge, mate!”

Overjoyed at suddenly regaining his sight, Stevo sees the door in front of him and gives it an almighty push! ...He smashes it off its hinges, and the door goes flying through the main barracks beyond! It tears through the assembled squadron of fanatically communist cattybaras, showering body parts and blood all over the bunk beds and lockers, throwing severed internal organs and fur all over the carefully laid out communist meals!

Seeing twenty of their comrades mercilessly cut down by flying capitalist steel, the remaining ten cattybara guardsmen look really riled, mate!

The room becomes a sudden hubbub of confusion as cattybaras rush around, knocking into each other as they dash for their guns and their uniforms.

ChairMan Miaow’s lair must be under attack!

Suddenly an enormously loud hooting siren starts to sound!


OHIO LEAP straight at them!  Stab with the knife and chomp with the foot.



The startled communists and the startled King of the Wild Frontier both speak at once, the cattybaras in a questioning whine and the American in a tone that almost sounds pleased.

"Boone? Feedin' time."

...Before they can even so much as move a good old fashioned American inch, Davy Crockett leaps into the elevator towards them with the speed and strength of a seasoned river leaper! As he leaps straight through one cattybara’s brain his deadly sharp bowie knife ...narrowly misses the left hand guardsman's throat whilst Boone flies past and ...tears off the right hand guardsman’s head.

Crockett and Boone swivel on the spot to face the final communist; ...he smacks Davy in the face with the butt of his submachine! Crockett’s face is broken!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Broken Face!

…   …   …   …   …   …

Davy Crockett comes to, woken by the gentle sound of the elevator dinging once more. He looks around him to find the elevator covered in blood, and three partially eaten cattybara corpses scattered about the floor. As the door opens, he peers cautiously out of the lift to see a vast room filled with barrels and crates and boxes stacked from floor to ceiling. An ominous whirring noise seems to be coming from the other side of the room, and a strange purring noise seems to be coming from close by.

He looks down to see Boone contented and snoring.

…   …   …   …   …   ...

After a second or two Crockett has a sudden thought.

“Hey – perhaps it wasn't that gentle dinging sound that woke me from my shameful slumber. Perhaps it was that deafening alarm siren! Oh good Lord, that don't sound like nothing righteous and American! No sir!”

Investigate the monorail, try not to get shot. Follow Paul and help him with the monorail.



Following his patched up companion Paul McCartney – the Last Beatle – Archimedes of Syracuse heads down to the Communist Monorail, hoping not to get shot. He pulls out his gun and advances cautiously up to the strange machine. Nobody seems to be about – those damn commie cattybaras must have fled the fearsome suppressing fire from his liberated submachine gun!

Reaching the door to the cabin and whipping out his jimmy bar, he gives it a good hard pull. ...It's jammed shut!

"Bother!" he shouts, trying to get down with these crazy futuristic kids.

Paul McCartney ignores his companions taking down the Cattybaras and dashes for the commie-rail. He attempts to hijack it and force it to start.



Ignoring the sound of desperate life and death struggle behind him, Paul McCartney dashes to the Communist Monorail with Archimedes covering his back. He peeks up into the driver's cabin as the Greek tries to force it open – he can't see anyone inside.

But Archimedes is defeated by the door!

“Here, mate, gimme that. Look – you've got to have the right technique, you know. It's all in the wrists. I've done er I've er seen it done dozens of times. Our George, he's an expert y'know.”

...Paul grabs the jimmy bar! He forces the monorail cabin door open!

The hiding driverbara leaps out from behind the driver's chair, claws outstretched as he goes straight for Paul's beautiful hazel eyes!

Alas for the cattybara: Paul is quicker with his guitar than James Coburn with a knife in that film. ... In one flowing move he reaches out his hand for the neck of his acoustic, draws it over his shoulder, and brings it crashing down upon the Communist's communist head! He slashes from waist to shoulder with the return stroke! He smashes him in the face with a final killing thrust!

McCartney throws the lifeless corpse outside the cabin as he clambers across to the driver's seat and checks the glove compartment.

“You are searching for something, musician?” asks Archimedes.

“Just the keys,” replies Paul. “They normally keep 'em somewhere aro – ah! Bingo!” he exclaims, as he reaches up behind the sunshade.

“Got 'em! Let's go man!”

He slots the key into the ignition as Archimedes slams shut the passenger side door. He turns it, and the engine bursts into life. Paul turns to Archimedes.

“Hey, wanna smoke, man?”

Archimedes' reply is lost as a deafening alarm siren starts to sound, all but visibly filling the air with noise.

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Subway map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Thirteen.
« Reply #114 on: March 05, 2012, 08:07:02 pm »

Hmm...

Patch myself up- use scattered body parts as needed.  Figure out what's going on in the room.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Thirteen.
« Reply #115 on: March 06, 2012, 01:38:29 am »

"Crikey!" Run hastily in the opposite direction.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Thirteen.
« Reply #116 on: March 06, 2012, 08:49:18 am »

"Hm... you know... if I could just coordinate the thing..."

Paul McCartney attempts to get the machine to head to Miaow's private lair in any way he can. Alternately, he waits for it to do so itself!
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Thirteen.
« Reply #117 on: March 06, 2012, 11:10:01 am »

Watch out for and eliminate the other communist monorail driver. Also, help driving it.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Fourteen.
« Reply #118 on: March 07, 2012, 08:16:32 am »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN FOURTEEN

Run hastily in the opposite direction.



"Crikey!" shouts Steve Irwin, face to face with a dozen communists. ”I’d best scarper, mate!” he finishes, slamming the door shut and turning to run as hastily as he can.

Alas! As soon as he turns to run he hears the door opening again! The commie fiends have mastered the door handle technology that has so far proven so dangerous to the bowienauts!

Alas! – for the cattybaras, at least, this time! They haven’t mastered crocodile technology like Steve Irwin has!

“Come on me old cobber! Up and at the commie bastards, mate! I’m going down the road before these fellas get the shits!”

...As his tamed ex-communist crocodile leaps out of his inventory and into the doorway to cover his retreat, Stevo turns and flees, the echoing ring of his footsteps in the dank concrete corridor occasionally audible over the sound of tearing flesh, desperate gunfire, and violent ideological debate. He runs and he runs as tears for his faithful liberated croc roll down his cheeks, and he never looks back!

Patch myself up- use scattered body parts as needed.  Figure out what's going on in the room.



”Hmm...” begins Davy, as he starts carving with his bowie knife. ”If I could just… hmm. Yeah. Ok. Right. Just to the left a little bit. Ah yes. Much better, the eyes line up and everything. Feels almost as good as new! Just like that time with papa and that dang bear. Boone? Brace yourself, buddy, and just remember it’s good ol’ Davy Crockett underneath this fancy new contraption of mine…”

Boone the Crocko-foot looks up.

...Davy Crockett is covered in catface!

Item Acquired: Davy Crockett: Facial Protection Catmask!

“Right. Now I’m part ways on the road to recovery, let’s go see what lies in this here room…”

Davy searches about the cargo storage bay, trying to figure out what’s going on in the room. It would appear that a great number of crates and boxes – cargo, you might say – are being stored in there! Heading towards the far side of the room where the ominous humming sound seems to be coming from, he comes to a door marked “GENERATOR ROOM. KEEP OUT.”

“Ah – the generator room,” he thinks to himself. “I’ve seen that somewhere before…”

He opens the door quietly and peeks his head through.

To his left he can see two communists walking away from him and, beyond them, a door on the same wall as the door Davy’s just opened. Taking up most of the room is a huge mass of whirring machinery.

Paul McCartney attempts to get the machine to head to Miaow's private lair in any way he can. Alternately, he waits for it to do so itself!



"Hm... you know... if I could just coordinate the thing..."

...Whilst his foot revs the engine impatiently, McCartney’s eyes scan the illuminated dashboard in front of him.

“Hmm…” he thinks aloud, ”Main Entrance… Main Barracks… Generator Room… ChairMan Miaow’s Private Lair… You Are Here… By George, they’re destination buttons! Look, Archimedes, they correspond nearly exactly to the subway map we saw! Buckle your braces man, I’m going to press this bloody button so hard I get blisters on me fingers!”

Watch out for and eliminate the other communist monorail driver. Also, help driving it.



“No! Wait! Look Paul,” cries Archimedes, ”There’s the other Communist Monorail driver! If we do not eliminate him, he will surely sound the alarm!”

Before Paul can stop him, Archimedes jumps out the driver’s cabin and rushes towards the approaching figure.

”What,” asks the Last Beatle, ”You really think anyone’s gonna hear an alarm over the noise of this deafening siren mate? Are you sure that’s a communist? You did bang yer head quite hard, our Archimedes, lad…”

Alas! Archimedes cannot hear! The sound of the deafening siren obliterates all other noise outside the driver’s cabin! He charges towards the oncoming communist driver, and ...aims a mighty punch at his face!

Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin: Heavy Head Bruising!

”Ah, Jesus, Archimedes, fella! That’s not a bloody communist! That’s a bloody Aussie national hero, mate! Shit, bring him over here and help him on board! Let’s go!”

…   …   …   …   …   …

As soon as Archimedes helps the dazed Irwin into the Communist Monorail’s driver’s cabin, Paul slams his finger down on the button marked “ChairMan Miaow’s Private Lair”. The monorail bursts into action! It steams onwards through the increasing dark and the deafening cacophony of engine and alarm siren, blasting like red lightning through passing subway stations, rumbling forward at ever-increasing speeds until the button Paul pressed starts to light up bright red. It starts to flash!

The monorail violently slows down, stopping perfectly in place on a subway platform marked “ChairMan Miaow’s Private Lair.”

As first Archimedes and then Steve climb down from the passenger side, Paul slides over, cigarette drooping out of one side of his mouth and his guitar in his hand.

“Looks like we made it folks. Let’s find Miaow and take him down! His lair must be behind those large double doors!”

Suddenly some large double doors in front of the three bowienauts open up! A communist officer flanked by half a dozen cattybaras strolls out.

“Surrender, capitalists! You are surrounded!”

He points behind the bowienauts. There are another half dozen cattybaras on the other side of the monorail!


Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Subway map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)

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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Fourteen.
« Reply #119 on: March 07, 2012, 08:29:38 am »

(Cattybaras- Water)/(Ground+Fire)+ 3Allies^2= Victory

The above calculations.
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