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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248535 times)

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Sixteen.
« Reply #135 on: March 11, 2012, 07:03:39 am »

"This isn't my day.  I think I need to shoot something."

Using Arch's shoulder as a prop, shoot at any threatening targets with the rifle.
I'm not threathening. DOn't shoot me.
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Sixteen.
« Reply #136 on: March 11, 2012, 07:08:42 am »

Nah, but that weird Aussie guy might be.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Sixteen.
« Reply #137 on: March 11, 2012, 03:09:14 pm »

Paul stops for a moment. In the midst of his rush to finish the mission, he realizes it's just him, staring down Miaow one-on-one. What were his options? Hit Miaow's cat-head with the guitar? No, the guitar's too precious. Hmm... half-chair, half-man, half-Miaow... that's it!

With all his remaining strength, Paul kicks the chair part of Miaow towards the opposite wall of the room!
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Calling Steve Irwin
« Reply #138 on: March 12, 2012, 03:40:29 pm »

Outofthemoat. As fast as possible! Pretend there's a crocodile out of the moat that I have to tackle, if need be!
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #139 on: March 12, 2012, 05:50:00 pm »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN SEVENTEEN

With all his remaining strength, Paul kicks the chair part of Miaow towards the opposite wall of the room!



Paul stops for a moment. In the midst of his rush to finish the mission, he realises it's just him, staring down the evil Miaow one-on-one. Heavy, man. What are my options? Hit Miaow's cat-head with the guitar? No way man, the guitar's too precious. Hmm... half-chair, half-man, half-Miaow... that's it!

Rushing towards the rolling multi-adjustable base of the evil communist dictator, the Last Beatle jumps into a flying kick towards his chair-half, ...and completely misses! He flies past and looks round in terror as ChairMan Miaow’s electronic rocket launchers whir into action and shoot a burst of mini-missiles at the stricken musician.

Thud-thud-thud! Bosh!

...A closely spread volley of doom hits McCartney in the lower body, piercing the skin and tearing the fat and breaking the guts through the finely tailored cotton shirt! McCartney is thrown backwards several feet, sprawling against a nearby wall!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Broken Guts!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Bleeding Guts!

Wound Acquired: Paul McCartney: Bleeding Gut Fat!

Advancing towards the Last Beatle, ChairMan Miaow's red laser eyes begin to activate, heating to a thousand degrees and cutting a sharp gash through the concrete floor between McCartney's legs! McCartney is transfixed! He appears quite doomed! The laser is fast approaching!


“Hahahahah, Mr McCartney! So you thought you would be able to have children, huh?! Hahahhaahah! Hahahahaa!”

Outofthemoat. As fast as possible! Pretend there's a crocodile out of the moat that I have to tackle, if need be!



Some distance behind Paul McCartney's deadly duel with Miaow, Stevo is floundering desperately in the moat, confronted by the terrible Bearded Land Octopus in its natural habitat. ...Imagining, in his terror, that a herd of wildercrocobeasts is galloping towards him, he propels himself upwards and outwards, flying out of the moat like a flying fish escaping the Southern Sea!

“Crikey mate!” he warcries, bounding towards the herd of wildercrocobeasts and landing nimbly on his feet. “What beauties!”


Suddenly Stevo hears a voice cry out from behind him.

“Mr Irwin!! I say! Watch out sir! Blast, he doesn't seem to understand.”

“Here, let me try Arch. Eh! Stevo! Watch it, mate! Crikey, he's right behind you fella!”


Steve Irwin turns round. The Bearded Land Octopus has followed him out of the moat! His slimy hands are reaching out to grasp the flying Australian!


Onward to the Stingray filled moat



Archimedes carefully carries Davy Crockett, who is slowly coming round and clearly in a bit of a funk, as they used to say, trying to give Boone as little opportunity as possible for a quick nibble of any of his limbs. There isn't, the wise scientist knows, much time – the bowienauts have got to get the job done and themselves out before the entire communist pyramid fills with solidified and deadly sharp volcanic glass! Even Archimedes' sandals will probably be no match for the sharpness of solid magma!

...Stuffing Crockett's arm into one of his many pockets, the Greek stumbles out through the doorway, crossing the magma covered subway line before bursting into the moat-filled antechamber.

Using Arch's shoulder as a prop, shoot at any threatening targets with the rifle.



Davy Crockett is pissed! Nothing is going right today: he bust his face, he bust his foot, he pulled his arm off, and now a darned ancient Greek philosopher is carrying him across a subway filled with burning magma into a room filled with angry stingrays!

"This isn't my day. If only I were back at the damned Alamo. I think I need to shoot something. Holy crap! A Bearded Land Octopus! It's about to grab poor Stevo!"

“Mr Crockett, we need to do something! But there's a moatful of deadly stingrays between us and that awful eight-legged communist yet pleasingly symmetrical fiend! Mr Irwin!! I say! Watch out sir! Blast, he doesn't seem to understand.”

“Here, let me try, Arch,”
interrupts Crockett. “Eh! Stevo! Watch it, mate! Crikey, he's right behind you fella! You see, Archimedes, you just have to know the lingo mate – Australian's a very particular dialect, very dangerous if handled incorrectly. Oh tarnation! Too slow! He's grabbing Stevo by the legs! He's swinging the poor chap round in the air! Oh good Lord, this is awful! His eyes are going to fly out if we don't do something! Oh, my word, he's being sick! Here, Archimedes, put me down and hold still for a second. I'm gonna take this sucker out!”


Davy Crockett unholsters his rifle, stuffs a cartridge down the barrel and thrusts the ramrod down, swings the gun about his trigger finger and brings the business end to a rest upon Archimedes of Syracuse's shoulder.

Bam!

Ooh, perhaps that should be in bold. It is Davy Crockett, after all.

Bam!

...The octopus's head explodes in a gory shower of molluscular gristle! The moatroom is filled with the slimy remnants of repulsive guts and slimy skin and unkempt beard! Escaping from the evil rotating communist grip, Stevo goes flying through the air at considerable speed.

He smashes head first into the back of ChairMan Miaow! The communist leader spins round in a fuzzle, laser still activated as his head is jolted from top to bottom, spinning round and round and round on his Office 2000 patented wheels, burning white hot marks of death up and down the walls of his lavishly decorated private lair, before finally bursting up to the ceiling and burning a hole through his expensive Regency chandeliers! The central chandelier crashes down!

It crashes down upon Miaow's head!


He appears to be lightly stunned!

Wound Acquired ChairMan Miaow: Severely Bruised Head!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Subway map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 13, 2012, 03:25:36 am by lawastooshort »
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #140 on: March 12, 2012, 06:24:39 pm »

"Crikey! I thought that beauty had me there for a tick..." Flying Emu Tackle Chairman Miaow, and hold him in a FULL NELSON! The ultimate form of grappling known to Aussie-kind!
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Fate/Stay Night: OOC thread - Serious talk about the canon characters' bisexuality, gravity rape, Noble Phantasm balance, Tiruin's character level of dumbness versus naivete, how sick and tainted my mind is, linguistics and much more.

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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #141 on: March 12, 2012, 07:28:04 pm »

Shouldn't my leap be available?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #142 on: March 12, 2012, 10:47:47 pm »

"For the ALAMO!"

OHIO LEAP over to Miaow!  Stab him right in the little part of his chair that connects the seats to the central support while Boone eats his face!

Yes, that requires landing upside-down.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #143 on: March 12, 2012, 11:09:15 pm »

"Oh... blast, he shot me right in the gut. The gut, man! I'll show him!"

Paul McCartney, determined to lead his companions to victory as quickly as possible, attempts to disable Miaow's defense system by strumming pure love!
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Seventeen.
« Reply #144 on: March 13, 2012, 10:57:54 am »

Jump or walk stride over the stingray moat towards Chiarman Miaow. Multiply that.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eighteen.
« Reply #145 on: March 14, 2012, 07:07:04 am »

CHAPTER ONE: TURN EIGHTEEN

Paul McCartney, determined to lead his companions to victory as quickly as possible, attempts to disable Miaow's defense system by strumming pure love!



"Oh... blast, he shot me right in the gut. The gut, man! I'll show him!"

Paul McCartney is lying bleeding on the floor, struck down by the ferocious firepower of the communist Miaow, whose overactive laser glands are shooting wildly about his private lair. The Last Beatle decides to unleash his precious guitar, and quickly brings it up to his chest and into action.

He strums a C!

He strums a G minor!

He strums ChairMan Miaow’s favourite chord!


...ChairMan Miaow is quite moved: but not to tears! He fights back the flood of emotion; he resists the memories of his many wives! His laser eyes waver! They lose focus!

Jump or walk stride over the stingray moat towards Chiarman Miaow. Multiply that.



Fear not, brave McCartney: the cavalry is arriving! Using the mighty power of his sandals to levitate across the stingray moat, Archimedes of Syracuse floats across the deadly ditch, ignoring the herd of wilderdiles and waving his hand of mystical mathematics in the air in strange and fearsomely incomprehensible symbols.

...Strange grids and plotlines seem to fill the air and crackle with burning yet invisible electricity as the space of the room is laid out like a graph, clear for all good liberal capitalists to see and be guided by.

”Lads!” shouts Archimedes, ”Get'im lads! Smash his face in! Kick his teeth out! Rip his eyes apart!”

OHIO LEAP over to Miaow!  Stab him right in the little part of his chair that connects the seats to the central support while Boone eats his face!



”Hmm…” thinks Crockett, before reaching a conclusion: ”Hyaaaahh!!”

"For the ALAMO!" he cries, as he leaps stupendously through the air at the leader of Catmunist China, half-somersaulting as he goes and whipping out his bowie knife. Inspired by his comrade Archimedes, he does some quick mid-air mental calculation: the best plan of attack would be to knife Miaow in the chair and simultaneously eat him in the face! Whilst landing on his head! Because he’s only got one non-severed arm! And he’s got to hold the knife somehow!

...Davy Crockett finishes his pirouetting communist-defying death move and slams his razor sharp bowie knife into Miaow’s chair-part, and his own head into the ground! ...The knife thrusts in a screech of grinding metal and a shower of sparking electricity, slicing the chair leg and fracturing the central support! Miaow begins to creak unsteadily from one side to another!

Wound Acquired! Davy Crockett: Heavier Head Bruising!

Suddenly Boone appears in Miaow’s face, gnashing and chewing ...but to little effect, merely tearing clumps of communist hair out before spitting it disgustedly upon the floor. It tastes of violent oppression! Miaow bites him back and slashes his claws at the crocko-foot’s poor beady little eyes, ...but Boone dodges backwards as Miaow misses completely, and both Crockett and his foot-chum are sent crashing to the floor several feet away from the evil overlord. His rockets start whirring up ready to fire!

Flying Emu Tackle Chairman Miaow, and hold him in a FULL NELSON! The ultimate form of grappling known to Aussie-kind!



"Crikey! I thought that beauty had me there for a tick... "

Witnessing the deadly foot-to-face struggle taking place between his natural ally Boone and the evil Miaow, Steve Irwin literally flies into action!

”I’ve gotta do something before those damn missiles hit! I know! FLYING EMU CROCODILE TAKEDOWN!” he shouts as he jumps up and soars gracefully through the air like a flying emu. ”Crikey mate!”


...Irwin lands a perfect Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move on the reeling Miaow, battering him to the floor and smashing the fractured chair support in two! Stevo has landed with both missile launchers secured beneath his manly Australian arms, Full Anti Missile Nelson style, and is struggling viciously with the commie despot on the floor as he mewls and miaows and thrashes about trying to throw off the Aussie croc-wrangler. Alas! The Miaowist missiles have started up, and they can’t be stopped!

One chair arm mounted rocket launcher fires a burst up into the air. They fall straight back down, smashing into Steve Irwin’s arms! The left arm is torn! The right arm is fractured! As another salvo of rockets shoots wildly upwards towards the ceiling, the Full Nelson is broken!

Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin: Fractured Right Arm!

Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin: Broken Full Nelson!

Miaow wriggles free and rolls across the room: right into the path of the descending rockets! They tear the fur and damage the jacket! ...They totally pulverise what’s left of ChairMan Miaow’s chair, leaving him nothing but a bleeding half-man half-cat monstrosity!

Miaow looks pretty pissed, and stares with (literally!) burning anger at Archimedes as he claws his way painfully across the lavishly decorated floor of his private lair, but the Greek is filled with the power of wrathematics, and equipped with the Sandals of The Tyrants’ Doom!

As the terrible twin lasers of Chairman Miaow shoot communistly across the expanse of his private lair, ...Archimedes of Syracuse instinctively lifts his right foot, and shields himself from the blast.

His sandal reflects the terrifying twin lasers right back at the Communist leader!

The lasers short-circuit in Miaow's eyes, and his face bursts apart!

ChairMan Miaow, Communistic Despotic Leader of Catmunist China, Half-Chair, Half-Man, Half-Miaow is struck down!

Unsurprisingly enough, the Magnificent Timelord’s magnificent voice suddenly comes through on comms to interrupt the high-fiving historical heroes.

”Er. Hello chaps. How’s it going man? Our scientists back here have noticed a sudden drop in the readings on the Magnificent Evilometer, what’s going on? You taken out Miaow?”

“Er… we er… yes boss. Miaow’s down. Heading for extraction.”

“Ok guys, good work. You sure it’s him? You sure he’s dead? You make sure and you take a nice photo too, dudes. We need proof. Now, you guys get your arses out of there quick sharp. The bowiecopter’s on its way to the LZ and I reckon you got no more than two minutes. You’re gonna meet some resistance out there and the longer you take the more there’ll be. Get moving!”


Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Subway map (click to show/hide)


VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT
+1 maths bonus to all attack rolls!
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 16, 2012, 06:33:03 am by lawastooshort »
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eighteen.
« Reply #146 on: March 14, 2012, 07:45:38 am »

Do I need to patch anyone up? Also can the medkit be used by multiple persons at the same time.

ANyway turn actions

Set up a temporary field hospital(Ie share the medkit) and begin treating the wounded. Make sure to break it up before the magma/wildecrocos/ any communistic fauna(or flora) enters the room. If there's time loot one of rocket chair arms. Also, give the Davy crocket his arm back.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 08:13:01 am by 10ebbor10 »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eighteen.
« Reply #147 on: March 14, 2012, 08:39:56 am »

Everyone but you is fairly busted up, so that's probably a good idea for a turn.


Scalp Miaow for future commie-skin cap making.  Patch up at the Field Hospital.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eighteen.
« Reply #148 on: March 14, 2012, 08:41:12 am »

Yup, I'm perfectly fine. Mostly because I haven't tried to patch myself up yet.
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts of Freedom. Turn Eighteen.
« Reply #149 on: March 14, 2012, 08:48:39 am »

Hey, it worked the first two times!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.
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