CHAPTER ONE: TURN SEVEN
Head through the western path instead to see if the downward slope is there.
... After a few minutes of brooding introspection,
Paul McCartney hauls himself to his feet, leaning on his beloved acoustic guitar as he does so. He can just about hear the stealthy footsteps of what he
hopes are his companions coming back from the direction in which
Davy Crockett left a short while ago.
I'll be on my way, he thinks to himself. He takes a deep sigh, and walks out to meet them.
"What in the name of God happened to your foot, Davy? Whoa, uh, anyway man, so uh the Magnificent Timelord says we need to find a downward tunnel. I've checked out this side and it just says it's the Engine Room, so I guess that leaves this western path. Let's go, lads!"Sure enough, after no more than twenty metres careful walk along the corridor the path starts to slope downwards. Gusts of
stale warm air blow by, and the sounds of
distant machinery rise from the depths.
After another ten metres or so of walking, the three men come across a small abandoned trailer,
clearly used for transporting goods from one of the monorail stations to the guards and barracks area they've just liberated. It's empty.
"What we have here," begins
Steve Irwin, breathless with excitement,
"Is yer typical conveniently placed potentially fast movin' object, mates! Crikey! Are you thinking what I'm thinking fellas?"... ... ... ... ... ..
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" screams
Paul, at the top of his voice,
"This is like, like some kind of groovy helterskelter or something! Woohooooooooooooooooooo!"The trailer freewheels at top speed down the sloping, curling corridors into the
depths of the communist hideout,
Stevo hanging on bareknuckled at the front,
Paul trying manfully to steer the damn thing with his acoustic guitar-paddle at the back, and
Davy Crockett sitting tight in the middle, lovingly
dangling strips of cattybara meat into the mouth of his
grotesque new foot friend. Suddenly a deafening boom reverberates through the entire fortress, the sheer blast of noise throwing the trailer into the air and bouncing it off the walls.
As Paul fights to regain control of the trailer with his acoustic guitar-paddle, Steve turns to look questioningly at him. The two men shrug at each other. Could it be some
fearsome new kind of communist
doomsday weapon? Suddenly Paul tries to cover his face and point with his guitar at the same time!
Archimedes did some quick calculations(Simple one this time, don't want to worsen the headache). They needed to get to the Railway, which was below them. The Fastest way from point A to point B is a straight line so...
He rushes back into the room, grabs his machine gun and any ammunition he can find, then opens fire on the obstacle that prevents him from following the most efficient route, the floor.
Grab machine gun, ammo, and then shoot a hole in the floor. Preferably not the part I'm standing on.((Ignore the crocodile head, but don't come to close to it))
... Archimedes of Syracuse is nothing if not a mathematician – nothing perhaps, that is, except a pragmatic man of daring
action! After being helped to his feet by the
manly Steve Irwin, Archimedes ignores the strange Aussie and the even stranger man with a crocodile for a foot as they walk off, and realises that this is no time to depend on
thoughtless machismo! This is no time for blind and
senseless wandering in the dark! This is no time for
shock and
awe! This is a time for
maths! He rushes back into the room he just flew out of, scrabbling around on the ground for his submachine gun and the dozen clips of ammo lying scattered about, aims at the floor, and
squeezes the trigger.
Archimedes of Syracuse is nothing if not a mathematician – nothing perhaps, that is, except a pragmatic man of daring action! After being helped to his feet by the manly Steve Irwin, Archimedes ignores the strange Aussie and the even stranger man with a crocodile for a foot as they walk off, and realises that this is no time to depend on thoughtless machismo! This is no time for blind and senseless wandering in the dark! This is no time for shock and awe! This is a time for math! He rushes back into the room he just flew out of, scrabbling around on the ground for his submachine gun and the dozen clips of ammo lying scattered about, aims at the floor, and squeezes the trigger.
As his submachine gun fires
uncontrollably at the ground around him, Archimedes suddenly finds himself tumbling through the air! He seems to have destroyed the floor upon which he stood!
Rubble falls all about as he plummets, one massive
chunk of debris exploding with an enormous burst of noise onto the concrete below and sending out shock waves that knock the Greek philosopher
sideways through the air until his descent comes to an abrupt halt with a less than comfortable landing.
Wound Acquired! Archimedes of Syracuse:
Bruised Backside!Archimedes suddenly finds himself flying through the air! He seems to have landed on some sort of fast-moving metallic contraption!
"Could this," he asks himself,
"Be the monorail of which the Magnificent Timelord spoke?"Seconds later the amazing metallic beast screeches with rage and slides to a dangerously
vicious halt. Archimedes suddenly finds himself sliding through the air! He seems to be gliding gracefully and horizontally along the roof of the monorail!
His keen mind
quickly deduces that the effects of momentum must be propelling him forth!
Catch up with McCartney, so we can regroup.
... “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” shouts
McCartney for the fourth or fifth time, as he,
Davy Crockett and
Steve Irwin joyride downhill through the darkness on their stolen trailer.
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”Paul’s
childish excitement is interrupted by a resounding booming noise coming from the depths below – it sounds like the
death throes of a collapsing building or
something! Stevo turns round from his lookout position at the front of the trailer to glance at Paul, who stops struggling with the lightning fast trailer only to point
desperately in front of him with his guitar and cover his face with his spare hand.
“Wheeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggg!”Stevo looks round just in time to see
the end of the corridor coming rapidly upwards to meet them! It looks like they’re arriving at some kind of subway station!
McCartney struggles vainly to bring the trailer to a stop with his guitar-paddle. There’s less than a hundred metres between them and the station wall! He takes evasive action!
Alas! The sharp manoeuvre Paul attempts overturns the trailer, which crashes to its side and goes sliding along the floor towards the monorail station. The three men hang on desperately as sparks fly off into the
gloom! The platform edge appears out of nowhere! The trailer skids off, flies round 360 degrees and comes to a halt on the monorail track with a crash and a bang as Stevo is
launched off into the air.
Wound Acquired! Steve Irwin:
Fractured Nose!Several seconds of silence are broken first by Communist voices and then by an approaching rumbling and a blinding light. It’s the
Communist Monorail!
Feed the crocko-head some of the meat that's lying around, then proceed with the group to the downward slope.
... Davy Crockett is in no mood for frivolous games and excitement – he’s already white water rafted down the Colorado on the back of a
tamed beaver – he ain’t gonna get all het up about a quick ride on a sumbitch trailer! No sir! He sits serenely in the middle of the newly commandeered
bowienautmobile, cutting off strips of cattybara meat with his knife, feeding them to his new
foot crocodile friend. He seems to be developing a
real taste for cattybara!
Without a warning there’s a terrible screeching noise as the trailer tips over, sliding down onto its side in a flash of
grinding sparks until it drops over a lip, twisting round and flipping back upright in the air. The trailer lands balanced
precariously on the monorail. Davy, flung over onto his back, is a little surprised to open his eyes and find
Paul McCartney lying on top of him, desperately trying to keep his legs away from the crocodile head a few feet away.
Steve Irwin is nowhere to be seen.
After a few seconds of silence a
commotion of cat-like Chinese voices starts up in the monorail station: Davy finds himself being dragged out from under his fellow freedom fighter! He tries to hold on to the safety of the trailer, but
CROCKO-FOOT’s ferocious
bloodlust is stronger than he is!
CROCKO-FOOT drags Davy towards the half dozen cattybara guardsmen who have just run onto the monorail platform! Davy can’t control it!
CROCKO-FOOT is snapping its mouth and visibly drooling at its new favourite fresh meat!
A rumbling sound and blinding light appear from the left, and an approaching Communist Monorail lights up the crash scene: Paul standing on the trailer, Stevo in a heap on the monorail track, Davy Crockett charging towards the astonished cattybara squad on the platform.
The Communist Monorail brakes to an abrupt stop and suddenly Archimedes of Syracuse comes flying off the top. He lands on the trailer, narrowly missing Paul McCartney! The impact pushes the trailer slowly forward! It begins to slide down the monorail track!
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTNone
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter
Status: Broken eye. -1 to ranged attacks. Stunned. -1 to intelligence. Fractured nose. -1 to smelling.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate, Turned Chinese Red Crocodile (healthy).
Wounds: [HP:69/75] |
Broken Left Eye! |
Heavy Eye Bleeding! |
Bruised Head! |
Fractured Nose!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, The Last Beatle
Status: On a slowly sliding trailer.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier
Status: On the monorail station platform being dragged towards 6 cattybara guardsmen.
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
CROCKO-FOOT!Wounds: [HP:75/75] Skills: Crack Shot,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse
Status: Stunned. -1 to intelligence. Bruised backside. -1 to remaining stationary. On a moving trailer.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit..
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Bruised Head! |
Bruised Backside!Skills: Multiply This!,
Absent Minded! I've been a bit afflicted by the plague, so hopefully it isn't too disjointed or anything.
Edit note: I totally did forget, yes. Amended.
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 248557 times)