TURN ELEVEN!
Somewhere in the jungle…
Erwin Schrödinger pulls out his Quantum Mechanics, Vol. III book and recites from it a verse. What we observe as material bodies and forces are nothing but shapes and variations in the structure of space.
Hurl ye Third Edition @ Terry, Follow it up with another cat!
"Blast this!" successfully curses
Erwin Schrödinger, seeing yet another box experiment come up with an unexpected and barely explainable result.
"Now you dare to interfere with my SCIENCE! Amphibians be damned!" he yells, blinking with astonishment and turning, puzzled, at the bowienauts.
"I swear there were more of you..." Erwin says, as he reloads with another cat up his sleeve. He peers forward.
"Perhaps there are..."From his other sleeve he pulls out a hefty tome: his treasured Quantum Mechanics, Vol. III.
"Hmm..." he ponders.
"I'm not terribly sure what might be most appropriate..." He flicks through a few pages, oblivious to the life and death struggle around him. He absentmindedly strokes one of the cats bothering his ankles.
"Oh yes," he realises.
"Rather obvious, really. How silly of me. Hey! You!" He is talking now to Terry, the thousand foot tall dinofrogcat half-god.
"What we observe as material bodies and forces are nothing but shapes and variations in the structure of space!" he says, apropos of seemingly nothing.
”Oh yes, and take this!” he finishes, hurling the deadly physics book straight at Terry's one hundred and fifty foot wide face.
...It misses completely.
"Oh. Bother. Oh well, take this then!" Erwin Schrödinger aims his arm directly up at Terry's face towering above him.
...A cat blasts out, flying nearly a thousand feet and smacking Terry right in the nose!
Wound Acquired: Terry the Dinofrogcat Half-god:
Facial Injury!
Erwin turns back to the science hating bowienauts.
"When I'm done with this, I'll finish you all off! Tampering with my work just like Hitler! Curse this!"
Attempt to puzzle Edward back together. Multiply that, and install the Solar death Ray
“Damnations and blast!” mumbles
Archimedes, mostly to himself.
“Can’t trust a damnable rat-hatted barbarian to perform a delicate surgical operation without him falling to the floor in excruciating pain! No! It needs someone with… someone with a keen sense of mathematics! Someone who can keep count of how many limbs there should be! Someone who can keep calm in the face of…”Archimedes looks up, vaguely aware of some undefined presence. A terribly loud and vast presence, which seems to be shouting terrifying threats at his medically incompetent friends.
“… a thousand foot tall dinofrogcat half-god?” he finishes, momentarily taking his eye off the task at hand.
“Gosh. Blimey. I’m… I’m going to need… some MATHS!”...Halfway through ramming a third pussy cat into Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex’s severed body stump, Archimedes stops, blurts out the first complex formula that comes to mind, and immediately drops the cat, stepping back in worried amazement.
“I say.”For the second time in several seconds he looks up, this time very much aware of a rather obvious presence.
“I er… I seem to have created a hundred foot tall Tyrannosaurus Cat? Bother. Sorry!”He immediately fondles about in his dress pockets for his solar death ray, but first he remembers he’s entirely naked, and then he remembers he’s tripping over a cat. He falls to the floor in very slow motion, where his fall is cushioned by a slow moving carpet of cat.
Erm!
Fully one hundred foot tall and with his body now entirely made of mathemagically propagated cats, Edward the Tyrannosaurus Cat roars in defiance at the thousand foot tall dinofrogcat half-god, the sound escaping his great jaws at snail’s pace.
...He too is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of cat, and his brain slows down to a dangerously slow pace!
DOUBLEARMLEGFACE Terry and ALL the cats. All of them.
"Covering fire!"The legendary
Crockett has no such problem! He is a frontiersman, a legend of the West: he knows how to deal with plagues of cats! Staring the nearest little blighter right in the eye, he captures the feline's attention for just long enough to-
No!
Oh God!
Yes!
Oh!
Davy Crockett can't help himself but to pronounce a strange utterance; a sequences of sounds he has heard before only in the mouth of his dear and, importantly, Australian companion Steve!
“Crikey mate!”...First one cat; then a second; then a third – and then a number beyond counting! All project forth such tremendous quantities of burning and tumultuous gutspit, such horrifying amounts of steaming and voluminous retchfroth, that almost at once, in the mere space of a blink, Davy Crockett is blasted upwards: first a dozen feet; then a hundred; then – yea! A thousand feet directly upwards into the air!
He comes face to face with Terry, the wrathful half-god.
“Hello! I... er...”The wrathful half-god winces. And then he bellows. He bellows as a wrathful half-god might had he very recently stubbed his toe on the leg of a chair. He winces as he would were he in the process of clearing his blocked drain, again, with his bare hand. The one the neighbours did complain about shortly after the third turd in one weekend floated under the fence and into their back garden.
“OHCHRISTOHGODWHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHYOURFACE?!?”And then the sun is blotted out.
Paul McCartney, horrified by his own creation, decided to continue running toward the location of DINOHITLER'S MUM (northwest)? Perchance he could bait TERRY into an epic battle with the NAZISAURUS leader!
"RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!" yells valiant
Paul McCartney, horrified by his own creation.
...He stands rooted to the spot, horrified by the creation of his creation.
Follow McCartney.
“Oh, crikey mate!” wails
Stevo, seeing the monstrous half-god.
“Spot on, Paulo! Let's bugger right off!”...He runs immediately to follow the stationary
Paul, smashes straight into him, and falls to the ground, face up.
He has the good sense or, possibly, merely quick instinctive reactions to turn and cover his face as the stomach contents of the thousand foot tall half-god rain down.
Curse as my day gets rained upon again.
...”Oh...” mumbles Erwin Schrödinger, as an endless rain of god's vomit descends upon him.
”Oh bother...” Terry, amused by the puny mortal's fury of tiny mammals, counters with his own volley of tiny AMPHIBIANS! Much more effective.
Merely vomiting a small lake does not deter Terry, THE GOD OF SMALL AND TERRIBLE THINGS INCLUDING VOMIT THAT HAVE SOMEHOW GROWN FAR TOO LARGE! Well, not entirely. In a brief break from emptying his breakfast and the half-digested Peter the Dinocat Shaman from his bottomless stomach, he raises one finger to his nose.
He snorts a tremendous snort!
A shower of frogs shoots out, spattering down upon the puny humans below!
...All bar Archimedes of Syracuse escape unharmed: but the venerable Greek is hit in the left arm by a speeding frog! Both are shattered!
Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse:
Fractured Left Arm!Clean self and nap!
Meanwhile, as amphibians and gut-expurgation descend all around, Joe the Lone Dinocat tries to lick himself clean before his mid-hour nap.
...He is soon retching hard, choking on a half-digested morsel trapped at the back of his throat. He feels distressingly awake.
Sorry, I need to do a map. You're all in the jungle with a thousand foot tall half god. There are also some trees? And vomit? Assume though that you are all now quite close, brought together by the joy of thousand foot tall half gods.
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECT:All characters except for Schrödinger slowed by the catsplosion until it is culled (Schrödinger effectively has double turns).
Bowienauts have +1 maths bonus to hit (two turns).
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Four Veteran Crocodile Hunter
Status: Naked.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate,
Bionic Right Ear.
Wounds: [HP: 100/100]Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Croc-rider,
Loads’a blood, mate! Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Four Veteran Beatle
Status: -1 to athletic movement. +1 to impressing the ladies. Covered in blood and sick.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar,
Speedoguts! Clayboard,
KEYBOARD LEG.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Titanium Guts! |
Right Leg Pimp Limp!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
Frog Chorus,
Reverse Polarisation,
It’s Getting Better All The Time,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Four Veteran King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Naked. -1 to melee. -1 to legs. -1 to further facial wounds.
Inventory: Bowie Knife,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask,
Miaowskin-facehat, severed left arm (in face),
Doublearmlegface! Fully Automatic Shoulder Mounted Tank Turret,
The White Speedo of Lumithos,
Rocket Mono-Segway.
Wounds: [HP:41/75] |
Severed Left Arm! |
Broken Right Arm! |
Severed Leg! |
Broken Face!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
MIGHTY TEXAS BOOT,
Multikilll! You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Four Veteran Philosopher
Status: Covered in sick. Naked again! -1 to Leg. -1 to Movement. -1 to melee.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit,
M60 Machine Gun,
Medical Water Elemental Left Arm.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Stone Leg!|
Fractured Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Archimedes Heat Ray,
Hippocratic Oath,
Absent Minded! Player: Tiruin
Name: Erwin Schrödinger, Quantum Physicist
Status: Inventory: Quantum Mechanics, Vol. I,
Quantum Mechanics, Vol. IIWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills: Catsploitator,
Master of Cats,
Theorist of Uncertainty,
Master of Uncertainty,
Sickly Edward The Tyrannosaurus Cat: 39/100.
Joe the Lone Dinocat: 10/10
Terry, THE GOD OF SMALL AND TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAVE SOMEHOW GROWN FAR TOO LARGE
Wounds: [HP:195/200] |
Facial Injury!
Skills: DEMIDEATHTONGUE, FAR TOO LARGE, FROGINATOR, STOMPATRON. HALFGOD.
I will still take suggestions both for Terry and Joe the Lone Dinocat
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 249604 times)