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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 249603 times)

Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Nine!
« Reply #615 on: October 03, 2012, 10:33:57 pm »

PS I'll be gone until either late Friday or Saturday. I authorize #bay12RTD to act in my stead should the need arise.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #616 on: October 05, 2012, 08:05:23 am »

TURN TEN!



Patch up Edward, trying to unsever his body.



Deep in the jungle, Davy Crockett stands over his fallen comrade, Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex as bullets fly overhead and the sound of battle rages.

“Tell me man,” whispers the hideously wounded dinosaur. “Is it bad? Am I gonna die?”

“Er… no, soldier,” confidently announces the frontiers veteran. “It’s just a severed body, son, you’re gonna be alright! My pal Archimedes is the finest… er… the… least bad physician I’ve ever set eyes upon!”

“Ahghr… it hurts, Davy, good God it hurts…”

“Don’t worry, Edward, I’m just gonna… Oh. I… er… Blast. Oh well. I guess you didn’t really need that foreleg either, eh?”

Wound Acquired: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex: Severed Front Leg!

Quote from: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex
Er!



“Oh, no, don’t worry about that, Davy, they’re all kind of deformed and short and useless anyway! And, you know, since my body was severed, I seemed to have kind of less control over my limbs than before anyway. Oh God, hold me, Davy!”

Davy Crockett crouches down to comfort Edward the Tyrannosaurus’s head with his one good arm. He feels moderately uncomfortable.

He instead played a GENTLE-LOVING CHORD at Peter the DINOCAT SHAM, boosting the emotional weakening with a quick refrain on his KEYBOARDLEG!



Meanwhile, mere feet away, Paul McCartney is hit by a startling realisation!

"Dude," he says to no dude in particular. "Why am I swinging around this far out hoversword like a character in a history book? I'm a musician, not a barbarian!"



With his acoustic guitar in one hand and his KEYBOARDLEG in the other, Paul McCartney starts playing a lovely song! He aims his guitar at Peter the Dinocat Shaman!

”I give her all my love
That’s all I do
And if you saw my love
You’d love her too…”


The effect is immediate!

Quote from: Peter
Break down and cry!


Peter the Dinocat Shaman, filled with remorse, flings a half hearted furball of energy at Steve Irwin, and then suddenly remembers all the loves he left behind to follow the Path of the Dinocat Shaman! He wonders what might have happened if he had settled down with Mary all those years ago… perhaps the world would be a happy, sunny place, filled with dozens of little Peters? Perhaps if…

”NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he wails, ”Josephine! WHY DID I NOT ASK YOU TO THE PROM?!”

Peter the Dinocat Shaman starts to cry! He starts to groan! He starts to tear out his hair with grief and nostalgia for what may have been! ‘Tis the worst variety of nostalgia. He throws himself to the jungle floor and rolls about with melancholy.

There is one last thing we must do. Aim for the weak spots! A swift kick to the genitals should be the best option. Aim at the Shaman.



Just then Steve Irwin walks over!

“Alright there, fella! Crikey mate, I thought you lot were meant to have a stiff upper lip, or something like that, eh? You are English, right? Anyway, sorry about this, but there’s one last thing I really gotta do…”

Steve Irwin kicks Peter the Dinocat Shaman in the nads!

The severed parts fly off in an arc, severing the brain! Both severed parts fly directly into the air, leaving a trail of vapour as they enter the lower atmosphere!

Peter the Dinocat Shaman stops wallowing in despair on the floor.

“Crikey fellas, I think he’s dead! Were you filming that? Oh shit,” adds the Aussie, looking upwards. “Is that what I think it is?”

Suddenly some dinosaur organs fall from the sky at tremendous speed!

Blazing through the sky, they strike Davy Crockett in the face, breaking it apart! Blood gushes out, flowing all over Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex!

Wound Acquired: Davy Crockett: Broken Face!

Mathemagically blast that cat back into the stone age (Ie, elemental mathematics(Dinocat+ stone))



A short distance away, in a very dark box, a dinocat leaps across the emptiness, determined to chew Archimedes of Syracuse’s leg off.

An even shorter distance away, Archimedes of Syracuse is determined not to have his leg chewed off.

“Take this, foul dinocat of some fiendish forgotten plane!” he shouts, waving his arms in mathematical concoction.

”Oh bugger. I… er… Oops.”

Wound Acquired: Archimedes of Syracuse: Stone Leg!

Suddenly, everything stops being black! Standing, apparently, on top of the great big box, Archimedes blinks and looks around, slightly taken aback by this turn of events.

On one corner of the box he sees his nemesis, the small and lovable dinocat.

On the other corner he sees a man.

”Aha!” says the man.

”Are you in the box?”

Everything briefly goes black.

”Or are you not in the box?! Who knows? Not me! Perhaps I am in the box!”

Everything stops being black.

”Ah. No. Apparently not.”

Erwin Schrödinger points a bony finger towards Archimedes.

”Now. You. Naked man. What are you doing in my box? Or out of it? Hmm?”


INTRODUCING: GUEST STAR: ERWIN SCHRODINGER, QUANTUM PHYSICIST, BOX EXPERT, AND CAT MANIPULATOR!




Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
None.
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #617 on: October 05, 2012, 08:40:09 am »

((And a good morning to you all, too!))

"Achtung, men!" Erwin said, clapping his hands with a wide smile. "You aren't the quarry I am so used to catching! And so slow are you to the speaking! Why are you hurting my feline friends?!

“Take this, foul dinocat of some fiendish forgotten plane!”

"Bah, no matter. You insult me by your presence, and you insult my knowledge of planes, too?" The Shaman's wailing catches his ears. "W-What have you done to Peter?!"
« Last Edit: October 05, 2012, 08:42:36 am by Tiruin »
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Toaster

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #618 on: October 05, 2012, 10:11:10 pm »

"This is just what I need for my collection!"

Fix face by shoving Edward's severed arm into face to make TRIPLEARMLEGFACE
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

kisame12794

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #619 on: October 05, 2012, 11:19:31 pm »

((Oh no.))
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The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #620 on: October 05, 2012, 11:33:53 pm »

"This is just what I need for my collection!"

Fix face by shoving Edward's severed arm into face to make TRIPLEARMLEGFACE



"My God."

Paul McCartney then switched his focus to the box he had caught brief glimpses of a DINOCAT being sucked into. That must be where Archimedes was! He knew of only one thing to do. He had to overload the box. But with what? Oh, right. He would get by... with a little help from his friends.

« Last Edit: October 06, 2012, 09:38:20 am by freeformschooler »
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #621 on: October 06, 2012, 12:26:17 am »

Erwin  :-\'d at the ignorance he was getting from the rest.

"Very well. Have it your way. Intrude upon my territory, will you?!"

Catsploitator > anyone who hurts poor Peter!
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #622 on: October 06, 2012, 01:28:04 am »

Erwin  :-\'d at the ignorance he was getting from the rest.

"Very well. Have it your way. Intrude upon my territory, will you?!"

Catsploitator > anyone who hurts poor Peter!
We're quite some distance away from the rest of the group, I doubt they heard you.

Anyway, fix own wounds, grab clothes, which for some reason dissapeared again, then, go look for our friends.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #623 on: October 06, 2012, 01:38:54 am »

I think Peter's dead. Of a severed brain.
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #624 on: October 06, 2012, 02:05:30 am »

Gosh, Archimedes: that could have been your HEAD.
Science doesn't care about what could have been, but about what is.

Except for Quantum physics of course.
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #625 on: October 06, 2012, 06:16:01 am »

We're quite some distance away from the rest of the group, I doubt they heard you.
((I was waiting for someone to acknowledge my presence...mainly, you ebbor.

And la needs his maps fixed.  :P))
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #626 on: October 06, 2012, 06:41:50 am »

I shall blatantly ignore all those who do not follow the ways of mathematics, and the certainity it brings. For everything is determinable, and nothing left undefined by it's power, which can be unlocked by your mind.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #627 on: October 06, 2012, 09:36:23 am »

I think Peter's dead. Of a severed brain.

Paul McCartney doesn't necessarily know that!

But I will change my action.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #628 on: October 06, 2012, 03:00:03 pm »

I think Peter's dead. Of a severed brain.

Paul McCartney doesn't necessarily know that!

No, I suppose it's fairly reasonable to assume, given previous experience, that this isn't necessarily fatal. Hmm.
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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #629 on: October 06, 2012, 10:22:55 pm »

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