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Author Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued  (Read 248586 times)

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #630 on: October 06, 2012, 10:26:35 pm »

YES.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Ten!
« Reply #631 on: October 10, 2012, 01:06:43 am »

Oh. Right. Err...

Help Edward! Somehow. Knowledge of reptiles, perhaps?
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #632 on: October 11, 2012, 07:13:26 am »

TURN ELEVEN!


Somewhere in the jungle, by a large black box…


"Achtung, men!" shouts Erwin Schrödinger, clapping his hands with a wide smile. "You aren't the quarry I am so used to catching! And so slow are you to the speaking! Why are you hurting my dinofeline friends?!”

No one replies. The naked man to whom he spoke stands there, wrapping several metres of bandages around his lightly scratched rippling six pack.

This done, he stands there, thoughtful.

He wraps his stone leg with some of the bandages too.

"Bah, no matter. You insult me by your presence, and you insult my knowledge of planes, too?"

Anyway, fix own wounds, grab clothes, which for some reason disappeared again, then, go look for our friends.



Still ignoring the man who, he figures, could just as well not be there as in fact be there, Archimedes grabs his nearby pterodactyl leather dress, slings it over his shoulder, and heads a little way down down the trail, towards where he imagines his friends to be, his stone leg clumping heavily after him.


Somewhere in the jungle, a little way down the trail from the large black box…


Fix face by shoving Edward's severed arm into face to make TRIPLEARMLEGFACE



"This is just what I need for my collection!" shouts Davy Crockett gleefully, in the jungle somewhere, a little way down the trail from a large black box. Holding Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex’s arm before him like a medieval crown, he bends on one knee, grits his teeth, and smacks himself right in the broken face with the severed dino-limb.

He falls over sideways to the ground with the pain.

Quote from: Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex
Ouch!



”Oucchhh!” whimpers the once proud but now mostly severed dinosaur. ”The pain!”

Help Edward! Somehow. Knowledge of reptiles, perhaps?



”Don’t worry mate!” says Steve Irwin, crouching down nakedly next to Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex, ”I’ll save you! You know, fella, I’ve wrestled an awful lotta crocs in my time, so, by crikey, I’m sure I can do something with…”

Suddenly Stevo spots Edward’s severed tail wriggling about in the undergrowth. He leaps in after it, and wrestles the blighter into submission!

”Crikey mate! How you feeling now, fella?”

”Oh!” says Edward the Tyrannosaurus Rex. ”Much be- Oh God, no, the pain! Ouch!”

Paul McCartney then switched his focus to the box he had caught brief glimpses of a DINOCAT being sucked into. That must be where Archimedes was! He knew of only one thing to do. He had to overload the box. But with what? Oh, right. He would get by... with a little help from his friends.



As Davy Crockett collapses in pain, Paul McCartney recoils in horror.

"My God."

He decides instead to dash up the jungle path where he had caught brief glimpses of… SOME KIND OF DASTARDLY BOX?

Paul McCartney recoils in horror again, his pleasant and once innocent mind aghast at the terrors man wreaks upon his fellow beings! The only thing he can do – surely – is to summon a storm of otherworldly frogs!

Stopping and crouching on one knee, McCartney points both arms up the trail and starts to sing. Suddenly clouds form, the sky darkens to a deep green, and a vast torrent of frogs blasts down from above, spurting right into the scientific black box!


A hundred frogs; a thousand frogs; TEN THOUSAND FROGS rain down, shooting through the box and disappearing into the uncertain void within!

Suddenly there is an enormous cracking sound; a horrifying breach in the jungle plane opens up, splitting the box from end to end, and then! Lo! A thousand foot tall dinofrogcat bursts out, towering terrifyingly above the entire world about!

Just as suddenly it disappears, sucking down like a whirlwind into the fiendish black box.

And just as suddenly it reappears, in a repulsive new form of HALFDINOFROGCAT, blood and guts and even raw pulsing brain visible down the horrible sliced open side, reptilian scales and furry fur mixing with the long slimy frog tongue of an old world long since banished, but come to return at McCartney’s command!

The HALFDINOFROGCAT speaks out of its halfmouth, its one eye staring balefully down at the puny creatures below as bits of it drip down the vertical open wound where its middle once was.

”You!” it rasps with a voice like… a mutated halfdinofrogcat, ”You have summoned me! But I am summonable by no man! I… am… HALFDINOFROGCAT, TERRY, THE GOD OF SMALL AND TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAVE SOMEHOW GROWN FAR TOO LARGE! AND I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!”

Terry the HALFDINOFROGCAT god immediately stomps down with his one rear foot, smashing down upon where Paul McCartney stood just half a second ago.

McCartney gets up from the bush he’s just rolled into, and stares upwards, straining his neck and his eyes to see the top of the monstrosity his musical talent has just brought forth.



"My God."

Suddenly a thousand foot long halftongue darts forth, shooting into the undergrowth and snapping up the broken body of Peter the Dinocat Shaman, reeling it back in and gobbling it up as a human might gobble up a breath of air.


Catsploitator > anyone who hurts poor Peter!



Schrödinger looks on with a mixture of anger and barely concealed science-excitement. But suddenly he realises his loss!

"W-What have you done to Peter?!"

Schrödinger drops to his knees in despair.

"Peter!" he cries, seeing the friend with whom he’d spent so many long evenings sipping Gewurztraminer and discussing the evils of political extremism gobbled up by a monstrously long tongue. "No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Very well. Have it your way. Intrude upon my territory, will you?! Summon a thousand foot tall HALFDINOFROGCAT god of darkness, will you?!" he shouts, at Archimedes and the bowienaut in the bush. He turns to face the thousand foot tall god of small and terrible things that have somehow grown far too large. "Eat the body of my friend, will you?! I CALL FORTH UPON THEE A PLAGUE OF YON FINEST CATS! BEHOLD!"

Turning in a slow circle, Erwin Schrödinger points his finger out towards his many foes, spuming forth an endless blast of cats, slowing down reality itself with a catsplosion of lovely purring kitties!

As a treacle of cats stops all about him, the deadly quantum physicist points his other hand upwards towards the towering half-god.

"Take this, you bastard!"

He fires a cat directly out of his sleeve. It shoots forth, causing Terry to jump aside to dodge the incoming catmissile.

When he lands the earth doth tremble!

Spoiler: Detailed Map (click to show/hide)

VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS

EFFECTS IN EFFECT:
All characters except for Schrödinger slowed by the catsplosion until it is culled (Schrödinger effectively has double turns).
Spoiler: Archimedes of Syracuse (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Notes (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 11, 2012, 08:42:33 am by lawastooshort »
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Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #633 on: October 11, 2012, 07:28:07 am »

((What have you people done O_o))


"Blast this. Now you dare to interfere with my SCIENCE! Amphibians be damned!"

Erwin Schrödinger pulls out his Quantum Mechanics, Vol. III book and recites from it a verse. What we observe as material bodies and forces are nothing but shapes and variations in the structure of space.

He blinks, then turns to face you all.

"I swear there were more of you.." Erwin says, as he reloads with another cat.

Hurl ye Third Edition @ Terry, Follow it up with another cat!


"When I'm done with this, I'll finish you all off! Tampering with my work just like Hitler! Curse this!"
« Last Edit: October 11, 2012, 11:06:12 am by Tiruin »
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #634 on: October 11, 2012, 10:07:24 am »

((May I?))

Terry, amused by the puny mortal's fury of tiny mammals, counters with his own volley of tiny AMPHIBIANS! Much more effective.
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Tiruin

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #635 on: October 11, 2012, 10:09:05 am »

((If possible: Curse as my day gets rained upon again.))
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10ebbor10

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #636 on: October 11, 2012, 10:12:39 am »

Attempt to puzzle Edward back together. Multiply that, and install the Solar death Ray

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freeformschooler

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #637 on: October 11, 2012, 11:04:50 am »



"RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!"

Paul McCartney, horrified by his own creation, decided to continue running toward the location of DINOHILTER'S MUM (northwest)? Perchance he could bait TERRY into an epic battle with the NAZISAURUS leader!
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Yoink

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #638 on: October 11, 2012, 12:07:29 pm »

Lone Dinocat:

>Clean self and nap!
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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #639 on: October 11, 2012, 01:55:50 pm »

"Covering fire!"

DOUBLEARMLEGFACE Terry and ALL the cats.  All of them.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Talarion

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Re: The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Turn Eleven!
« Reply #640 on: October 12, 2012, 02:00:05 am »

Follow McCartney.
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lawastooshort

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The Magnificent Timelord: Bowienauts and DinoHitler's Mum. Special Update Time!
« Reply #641 on: October 16, 2012, 02:41:18 am »

Somewhere, far away in another universe – yea; even in another time! – one dwarf listens to another in the silent corner of a grand and engraved dining room. This second dwarf is gruff, strangely attired, a veteran of endless struggle, and not in possession, it seems, of every one of his original limbs. And, it might be noted – for perhaps this is not enough to distinguish him from any other dwarf in this or any other fortress – he seems to wear some kind of dead rodent upon his head; and he seems to wear some kind of live reptile upon his foot.

”And then!” says the second dwarf, who, it appears, has been talking for some time, ”And then, I kicked the bastard dinocontraption so bastard hard that it did fly!”

The first dwarf, carefully examining the remnants of the pint of rum so recently occupying his finely carved mug, raises a questioning eyebrow.

”Yep! It blasted right through a dozen buildings like… like… axes through elves! And then! It hit the bastard enemy so hard that it did explode! And what an explosion it was – the ball of fire reached a hundred thousand feet, and everything turned red, and every enemy all about was struck down as if by the vengeful magma of Armok himself! Yea, and me and my companions, blessed by the Miraculous Underpant of Lumithos, were not touched by yon vengeful magma, no! And THAT, my son, THAT is the true story behind this engraving of Urist engraving himself engraving himself engraving himself engraving the masterwork image you see adorning the walls of this wondrous dining hall…”

As the second dwarf ends his tale and closes his eyes to remember, the first dwarf leans forward, looking into the second dwarf’s mug. It is half full of sunshine. With the second dwarf’s eyes still closed, the first dwarf pours it into his own mug.

“I think you’ve had more than enough of that, grandpa…” he mumbles to himself, as he kicks back his stone chair and rises to leave. “More than enough…”

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Toaster

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Awesome.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Tiruin

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((I love the IRC chat about this.))

Awesome.
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