Bay 12 Games Forum

In 2017, a house in the city of Genericville ran out of milk. As a result, the world rapidly began to die. The resulting chaos quickly spread. Ukulele metal filled the air as the house was destroyed, the city fell, governments were overthrown, Doom Mugs loomed above, Heaven and Hell and ultimately the world itself was reduced to a chupacabra-infested wasteland before the Imperium of Man finally put it out of its misery.

However, the world was spared this fate at the last minute by the actions of one Shaun O'Brian. As the world passed the point of no return, Shaun used his cow-powered time machine to travel back to shortly before the house ran out of milk and deliver some bottles. This prevented the crisis, but left Shaun a timeline-orphan. Shaun abandoned the modern world and chose to go find some other time to live in. He eventually settled on a small English village called Moorsburg in the late 12th century. Everything would be peaceful.

That is, if he hadn't stolen all the town's milk. The chaos began again, aided along or battled by both new characters and refugees who had somehow escaped the deletion of their timeline. Dozens of stories unfolded, from the war against the Sun, the rivalry between Goatsby and Harold Johnson, a new wave of Doom Mugs, and many others. One of particular importance was that of the living Holy Grail and the quest of it and its allies to find the Grail's Holy Milk. After a long journey, the Holy Milk was discovered at the remains of Castle Adjila. An epic battle ensued as dozens of groups converged on the castle to try and claim the nearly unlimited power of the Holy Milk. The Grail and its allies won this battle and swiftly used their power to put an end to the chaos.

Centuries passed as the Grail empire took control of the Earth and rapidly advanced its technological and cultural development. By the year 2219, although the Holy Grail and its allies had long since left the material plane for parts unknown, Earth was a shining and highly advanced society. The first starships were being sent forth to explore new worlds and seek out new civilizations.

One of these was the ill-fated starship called the Moloko. At the height of Humanity's ascent, it too ran out of milk. This lead to the greatest disaster so far. Apocalypse after apocalypse tore through the universe. There was the war against the Seven goat deities, a Doom Mug attack on Earth, the defeat of Jeff Goldblum, the dead rising from their graves, and a mime was actually found to be funny.

However, even these events were overshadowed by the crusade of the Mad Titan, Thainos. Thainos believed that the balance of the universe could only be restored by assembling the Unlimited Glove and using it to destroy all milk forever. Despite the actions of the many who tried to stop him, Thainos won. With a snap of his fingers, Thainos destroyed all milk, and half of all mammalian life. Even worse, at the moment he did so, all liquid water had also been transformed into milk. Thainos himself and the Infinity Milks were not spared by his culling.

Across the entire universe, the survivors found themselves without milk. Events comparable to those previously described erupted everywhere at once. The worlds died, and all that was left of civilization was whatever survivors had managed to cling to life in the ruins of their fallen empires.

All was not completely lost, however. In the final moments of the Moloko's last flight, the ship's AI had managed to make a molecular-level scan of the Infinity Milks. With the help of the veteran heroes Angelo and Diablo, the scans were brought to Shaun O'Brian in his TARDIS.

It's unclear what happened next. Among the survivors of Earth's wasteland, it is rumored that Angelo and Diablo occasionally appear to worthy heroes, seeking their aid in remaking the Infinity Milks in order to heal the shattered cosmos.

Perhaps you have more immediate concerns, however. After all...

Standard d6 rules:
1.Epic Fail:You fail horribly, and the action backfires.
2.Fail:You lose, you get nothing.
3.Average:A little success, a little failure. Most people are a 3.
4.Success:You can't always get what you want, but this time you did.
5.Major success:Everything went better than expected.
6.Overshot:Be careful what you wish for.

You can do pretty much anything you want, with the exception of playing a mime or mind controlling PCs.

Name: Ssarscel
Description: A chupacabra milk scientist (that is, a milk scientist that is a chupacabra)
Why do you want milk? Research, obviously. And because it could make me a fuckton of money and prestige. And also people need to drink stuff.

Name: Shaun O’ Brian
Description: Has a tattered beige jumper a long, equally tattered brown coat, and a real beard. Lives in a TARDIS which has been jury-rigged to oblivion and decorated with antiques.
Why do you want milk?

The blood of this universe is milk. Vast apocalypses have been fuelled again and again by a small absence of milk. As long as there is no milk, there will be no safety, no peace, no end to the bloodshed, and no milk for the tea. The milk must flow, or this hell will never end.

Name: Adam Smith
Description: Male Human (T'zzz cultist).
Why do you want milk?The cult believes we can use it for a Ritual to empower T'zzz (the mind and janitor of the universe), so it may someday fix everything.

Name: Adam Young
Description: A classically handsome man with blond hair and heterochromatic eyes, one blue, and one red with black sclera. He wears a loose-fitting blue and red hoodie with holy and demonic designs haphazardly strewn across it, cargo pants with lots of pockets, mismatched white and black socks, mismatched red and blue shoes, and an eyepatch that can be switched to cover either eye. He has a guitar on his back with different color strings and with a symbol etched and in it and colored.

He is definitely not an Angel/Demon Hybrid.

Why do you want milk?
The world is broken. It's about time someone fixed it.

String colors in order:
E String: Purple
B String: Blue
G String: Red
D String: Yellow
A String: Green
E Flat String: Orange

Guitar Symbol

Name: Luis Dougris
Description: A paranormal investigator and practicing occultist. His bespectacled face is hardened from years of hunting vampires, werewolves, and other such unnatural beings. He is well dressed, mostly in neutral tones, and has a surprisingly calming voice for one so acquainted with violence and the supernatural. 

Why do you want milk?
A few years ago, he discovered an ancient and forbidden tome, the lacnomicon. Yet, at the time, the world was full of milk and the book was too powerful for him. Now, that world's milk is gone and the book is weak, he can finally probe those dark and spoiled pages. He needs milk to unlock the lacnomicon's deepest secrets and perverse rituals.

Name: Rana
Description: A black bodied Byakhee with a purple head, blue and black wings, green eyes, and maroon feet and hands
Why do you want milk? To create new milk planets with new milk creatures and milk plants to hopefully add new life to replace what was lost

Name: Cistern
Description: Broken data from the height of japan's animated internet, who was cast adrift from systems as a ghost. Looks like a cute white-haired catgirl. How she got here is anyone's guess.
Why do you want milk?: To create a Milk Network and revive the connections between life. And maybe power everyone with Milk Energy. Also to drink Milk to stay active.

Name: GUNTHAR HORNHELM, warrior of the northern wastes!

Description: A crazy old guy in stained undershirt, khaki shorts and a pair of yellow "crocs". A milk-jug helm protects his bald and lumpy skull, two cardboard horns taped on the sides in true Viking fashion.

Why does Gunthar want milk? To put on Gunthar's BREAKFAST CEREAL!
(Gunthar does not have breakfast cereal. Gunthar will have to find some of that too.)

Name: Joey Bones
Description: Joey Bones is a 6'8 tall skeleton, his body has sharped bones on his joints, feet, hands, his head is that of lizards, he also has a skeletal tail, also posses glowing green eyes, inside his skulls mouth is long luminescent tongue made of ectoplasm like substance, the tip of his fingers are black, along his skull are red lines that go across it, he wears a cloak over his body..
Why do you want milk? to drink and make my bones stronger, even if i don't have any way to digest it.

Yoink:The Classic.

Name: Slash Ashford
Description:A scientifically proven Living Fossil, Ashford claims to be a genetic throwback to the Neanderthal. Superior to 'sapes in all aspects (except grueling perfectionism), he operates out of his self sustaining bunker in a quest to bring forth the great INCLINE into the world with his masterpiece of Old Skool RPG Wizardy dungeoncrawling, TOME! From this magnum opus, the curse of popamole and milk-obsessed madmen will finally end. A task decades in the making, ridiculed on the remaining net servers as but vaporware, but soon it shall be completed! Soon, they will all learn, to always bet on neanderthal!!!
Why do you want milk?:
There is one last microissue in the way of completing TOME, namely, the need for coolant for both the Vault-OS supercomputer and generator. The only substance that can handle the raw INCLINE of TOME is milk, preferably the legendary MILK OF SANTA ANA. Though, sufficient quantities of regular milk could do...

Name: Joshua Cortez
Description: A tan-skinned man wearing a duster and a big cowboy hat, that may as well be a wizard hat. He's wandered many places across the Wasteland, doing a bunch of scouting jobs for various tribes and settlements.
Why do you want milk: An old mysterious man told me to seek it, for it's the beverage that will change my life completely once I'll drink it.

Name:  Burt
Description: A government hating one antlered deer man that somehow survived everything and made it to Earth.
Why do you want milk? Everyone else wants it so he also wants it, and it might be able to kill whats left of the government.

Name: John
Description: A guy is wearing a red shirt and black shorts with a bathrobe on the outside. Also, wearing slippers
Why do you want milk?: Who eats cereal without milk?

Name: Thain-I mean...Juainos.
Description: A giant purple man who isn't just a time-traveling Thainos using a fake mustache and a big mariachi hat
Why do you want milk? To not infiltrate and defeat the Milkvengers before they undo my plan. And I will not then proceed use the Infinity Milks to turn the entire universe into milk before drinking everything and becoming a cosmic god.

Delta:It's been a long time. How have you been?

Chupacabras:This species is doing extremely well following Man's downfall, and are a common sight in the wastelands.
Old mysterious man:It's dangerous to go alone. Stay a while and listen?
T'zzz cultists:Followers of T'zzz. The ones from the settlement have been corrupted into joining the John Network.
Bartender:Not much surprises him anymore. Not even becoming a part of the Network.
Warlord:Ruled the settlement before the rise of the John Network.
Chupacabra racists:Not to be confused with racist chupacabras. Racism reenactors:Respected their family legacy of petty bigotry, before they were overtaken by the Network.
White rabbit:Late.
Sewer clowns:Pretty much what you’d expect.
Jabberwock:The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Portal monsters:They can smell overconfidence.
Obrador:Chupacabra wastelander who owns a car. Big fan of the old governments.
Okapis:Endangered relative of the giraffe.
Melting horse:Writer of the Symbol.
Dairy Queen:The Concealed One, The Great Spirit, DQ.
Eldritch creatures:Monsters from beyond.
Seduced okapis:A herd of okapis seduced by Yoink.
Ghouls:Flesh eaters.
John's Network:Those who have been brought into the rogue network that John has established.
Followers of the Symbol:A cult that intends to unlock the mysteries of the Symbol.
Doom Mug creatures:Embodiments of the dust that once was Doom Mug milk.
Florence Creatures:The ultimate in hybrid surgical procedures.
Rana's Byakhee:Rana's former host body.
Cyborg Mitch McConnell:Last surviving Congressman, currently on his 41st term as a Senator. Your legislation shall make a fine addition to his collection!
People of Water Tank:Networked by John.
Daughter Leslie:Smartest of Yoink's okapi-hybrid children, leader of her people when he isn't around.
Okapi partisans:Extremist okapi insurgents/freedom fighters.
The Unicorn:A horse-like creature with a spiral horn growing from its forehead.
Vacuum vermin:Vermin from the vacuum.
Abraham Lincoln:President of the United States. Survived his assassination, and did not have to see a civil war.
James Connolly:In another timeline, an Irish republican and socialist leader.
Yggdrasil creatures:Inhabitants of the World Tree.
Ginnungagap Eldritch creatures:An Acceptable beginning.
Auðumbla:The Primeval Cow.
Gunter's Son:Hi!
Gunter's Ma:The skies were still blue last time he saw her.
Mariachi hat drone:Loyal servant of Thainos.

The Settlement:Starting location. Overtaken by the John Network.
Ssarscel's lab:Ssarscel's home and milk research center.
Shaun's TARDIS:"Jury-rigged to oblivion and decorated with antiques."
Luis Dougris's ritual chamber:A perfect spot to invoke the Lacnomicon.
The bar:A postapocalyptic bar. Destroyed by a series of regrettable events.
Florence Memorial library:We don't go to Florence Memorial.
Local Cisterns:Water tanks.
Wonderland:Curiouser and curiouser!
Eldritch Plane:Wouldn't miss having this around one more time.
White Mountain Forest:Once a national forest, now a place where mystery and okapis dwell.
Mount Washington:Supposedly, a Doom Mug landed here during the Event. Incredibly high winds.
Eldritch Tower:A mysterious location in the Eldritch Plane.
Yoink's okapi town:
Honest Jane's car dealership:Vehicle market and biofuel factory.
Genericville:Just another place that ran out of milk.
Water Tank:Water distributing town, conquered by John's Network.
Washington DC:This American city has a population of well over 300 people and is well known as the setting of Fallout 3.
US Capitol Building:Former home of the United States Congress.
Ginnungagap:The void from before creation.
The Mountain:Lies at the center of Ginnungagap, at the point where the cosmos will one day be born.
Pool beneath the Mountain:A more perfect mirror.
Crash site of the Moloko:Ground zero of the Event, and located on an unknown and ruined world.
The Pentagon:Former headquarters of the Department of Defence.
United States, 1865:Not the Civil War.
Ireland, 1916:Not the Easter Rising.
Young Yggdrasil:The World Tree at its start.
Gunthar's Past:When the skies were still blue.
3745th Realm of Pain:Very painful.
Sacred Cow:The personal starship of the President of the United States.

Resurrected milk:Brought back through the occult magic of Luis Dougris.
Followers of the Symbol's milk:Stolen by Joshua Cortez.
Doom Mug milk:Taken by Shaun.
Replicated Doom Mug milk:Created by Ssarscel.
Okapi milk:Drunk by Yoink, to strengthen him for his showdown with Adam Smith.
Thainos' replicated milk:Drunk by Thainos for strength.
Thainos' Infinity Dairies:A dangerous form of replicated Unlimited Power. That he chugged.
Shaun's Infinity Dairies:Used to undo the Snap.
Dairy Queen's milk fortune:Won by Yoink.
Hybrid Milk:High-quality milk produced by Yoink's freakish descendants.
Hornless Cow Milk:A gift for Gunter from a friend.
Ssarscel's portable milk replicators:Nobody is running out of milk anymore.

Follow these steps to set up the included tiles, if you want to use graphics.

1.Install whichever 32x, Text Will Be Text tileset you prefer.

2.Merge the raw folder in the bundled "optional tiles" folder with your own.

Once upon a time, a house in the town of Genericville ran out of milk. The resulting chaos quickly spread. Ukulele metal filled the air as the house was destroyed, the city fell, governments were overthrown, Doom Mugs fell, and ultimately the world itself was reduced to a chupacabra-infested wasteland before the Imperium of Man finally put it out of its misery.

However, the world was spared this fate at the last minute by the actions of one Shaun O'Brian. As the world passed the point of no return, Shaun used his cow-powered time machine to travel back to shortly before the house ran out of milk and deliver some bottles. This prevented the crisis, but left Shaun a timeline-orphan. Shaun abandoned the modern world and chose to go find some other time to live in. He eventually settled on a small English village called Moorsburg. Everything would be peaceful.

That is, if he hadn't stolen all the town's milk. The chaos began again, aided along or battled by both new characters and refugees who had somehow escaped the deletion of their timeline. Dozens of stories unfolded, from the war against the Sun, the rivalry between Goatsby and Harold Johnson, a new wave of Doom Mugs, and many others. One of particular importance was that of the living Holy Grail and the quest of it and its allies to find the Grail's Holy Milk. After a long journey, the Holy Milk was discovered at the remains of Castle Adjila. An epic battle ensued as dozens of groups converged on the castle to try and claim the nearly unlimited power of the Holy Milk. The Grail and its allies won this battle and swiftly used their power to put an end to the chaos.

Centuries passed as the Grail empire took control of the Earth and rapidly advanced its technological and cultural development. By the year 2219, although the Holy Grail and its allies had long since left the material plane for parts unknown, Earth was a shining and highly advanced society. The first starships were being sent forth to explore new worlds and seek out new civilizations. This is the story of the starship Moloko and the catastrophe it encountered that threatened to bring down the peaceful civilization from whence it came. For you see...

Standard d6 rules:
1.Epic Fail:You fail horribly, and the action backfires.
2.Fail:You lose, you get nothing.
3.Average:A little success, a little failure. Most people are a 3.
4.Success:You can't always get what you want, but this time you did.
5.Major success:Everything went better than expected.
6.Overshot:Be careful what you wish for.

You can do pretty much anything you want, with the exception of mind control on someone else's character beyond 1 turn.

Space cows:Flying creatures that look like a cross between porpoises and cows. They also live in space.
The Alliance:The government of Earth and its allied planets. Democratic, employs a tangled bureaucracy.
The Seven:Ancient goat demon gods that threaten the very universe itself.
Modified roomba army:Destroyed, then repaired. Now a dapper fox hunting club.
Perfect space cow:Confused.
Vacuum vermin:
Space Cow regiment XA-72e:Military space cows.
Sir William R. Washingtonson:president of the Dapper Gentlemen's Association.
Crew of the Moloko:Anoymous crewmembers bravely exploring the unknown. Military units have been trained in Imperial Guard techniques.
Platonic milk:Just a friend.
Space Animal Rescue Center:Protecting animal rights, IN SPACE.
Honey badger man:Don't care.
St. Peter:Stands at the pearly gates.
Silence's pet basilisk, Douge:
Valkyries:Choosers of the slain.
Repair nanobots:Born to fix things and devour their creator.
DNA thief:Mysterious figure that steals DNA.
Infinity Dairy expert:Cursed with knowledge.
Sreratv:A culture known for their excellent bank security and expertise in economic matters.
Rickshaw couple:Grumpy, arbitrarily cruel.
Squidward:Son of Thainos.
Other Children of Thainos:"Big stone one, stealthy one, girl one and other girl one that's blue but isn't my favorite daughter."
Wildebeest:Gnu animals.
Army of Thainos:Generic alien monsters in the employ of Thainos.
R'ccc:A famous tentacle creature.
Droogs:Ultra-violent thugs.
ABOMINATION:A terrifying monster genetically engineered by Dr. Bob.
The undead:"When there's no more room in Hell..."
Demons:A common sight in these games.
Giants:Guardians of the Ninth Circle of Hell.
Men of Leng:Inhuman slavers who sail galleys with black sails in the Dreamlands.
Moon beasts:The nightmarish masters of the Men of Leng.
Chupacabras:Mythical creatures from Central America. They are said to drink the blood of goats. They are also quite possibly the most dangerous animals on the planet.
Repair station AI:Overseer of a repair station.
Self-Defense cybernetics:The little posthuman augment that could.
Ivan Drazhanovic:Dr. Bob's teacher.
Jeff Goldblum:Life, uh, finds a way.
Independence natives:Minions of Jeff Goldblum. They are said to possess a mysterious link to their ruler.
Mutant rats:Rats mutated by the Moloko's engine fuel.
The T. rex:When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth
Void nightmares:Monsters from the void.
Droog vampire:A powerful vampire sired by Boris.
Azathoth:The nuclear chaos at the center of all things.
Titanoboa:
Time Lords:Doctor who?
Vampire conspiracy network:Inhabitants of a World of Darkness.
Cervidae mutants:A diverse group of countless artificial creatures unleashed on the homeworld of the deer people.
Alliance High Command:The democratically elected leaders of the Alliance.
Eldritch creatures:Monsters from beyond.
Anonymous Time Lord:A Time Lord that Shaun angered with an attempt to steal her TARDIS.
Afterlife fishers:A fishing crew illegally harvesting souls from the tentacle creature afterlife.
Alpha and Omega squads:Best commandos in the Alliance.
Fishing boat captain:A grizzled tentacle-creature soul hunter who once had his leg bitten off by a ghost.
Mutant Bob:A version of Dr. Bob destroyed by his own unrestricted experiments.
Cult of the Seven:Ancient followers of the Seven.
Mad scientist:
Mini-Douges:
Dracula:The OG vampire.
Vampire council:The vampire leadership.
UberBob:The greatest Bob in all the timelines.
Doc Brown:The inventor of time travel.
Imperium of Man:For the Emprah!
Burt:YOU GOVERNMENTS AREN'T GONNA GET MY NPC SUMMARY!!!
The guard:Poor guy who got talked at.
Emperor of Mankind:Ruler of the Imperium.
Ordos Chronos:Imperium timecops.
Imperial cult:A religion devoted to worship of the Emperor of Mankind. A few supporters have appeared on this timeline's Earth. They mostly like to shout about HERESY and the EMPRAH.
Gamora:Thainos' favorite daughter.
Guardians of the Galaxy:Space outlaws.
Nyarlathotep.
Eliphas the Inheritor:Blood for the blood god!
The Fates:The beings who spin the threads of destiny.
Thainos' evil army:A giant horde of callbacks to previous adventures involving minimalism and/or milk.
Sentient giraffes:A surprisingly common race in the Milky Way, representing about 16% of the total population. Most of this is concentrated in the Camelopardalis constellation.

Space:The Final Frontier.
The Moloko:A standard Earth science and exploration vessel.
Earth:The homeworld of humanity and the capital of the Alliance.
Intergalactic Bazaar:A place to buy almost anything.
The Horsehead Nebula:Made of space dust.
The Afterlife:That place you go after you live.
Dcoan T're nebula:Home of the honey badger men. Quite possibly one of the most dangerous places in the universe.
Space Mexico:Mexico, but in space.
Sanctuary II:Thainos' ship.
Dreamworld:Come with me-And you'll be-In a world of-Pure imagination
Kepler-296:An isolated but habitable planet with two suns.
AI afterlife:Where computer programs go when they die.
Nauka-3 science ship:Educational facility for Soviet mad scientists.
Independence:A planet ruled by Jeff Goldblum.
The Void:A place of emptiness and goat demons.
The Valley of the Doom Mugs:Repository of the apocalypse.
Cervidae:Planet of the mad scientist aliens with deer heads.
Dr. Bob's lab:Dr. Bob's true laboratory, located on his homeworld.
Eldritch Plain:Here there be monsters.
Eldritch Void Bazaar Bubble:The hybrid co-dimensional anomaly where the Bazaar used to be.
Tentacle creature afterlife:The oceanic place where tentacle creatures go when they die.
Gallifrey:Homeworld of the Time Lords
Last Monday:Monday, but the last one.
Alternate timeline:The future without the Grail.
Ancient Egypt:That place with the pyramids.
Mad scientist's planet:
Modern Egypt:That place that still has the pyramids.
Platonic Ideal zone:The region of the Dreamlands where Platonic Ideals are stored.
Hill Valley:"Well, which is it? A hill or a valley?
Egyptian base:An Alliance military base in Cairo. Guarding a major secret.
Burt's house:The heavily fortified home of Burt.
Shaun's TARDIS:Bigger on the inside.
Genericville:A familiar location. About to have serious milk problems.
Elemental Plane of Milk:A dimension full of milk. Also doubles as the Mug Dimension.
Primus's ship:A spaceship used by Primus and his troops. Resembles an Imperium of Man vessel.
The House:A familiar place.
Vormir:Home of the Soul Milk.
Milano:The Guardians of the Galaxy's ship.
Mechanus One:A world where hubristic robots were destroyed by their own creations.
Bliss:
Unknown planet:A faraway planet chosen as a duelling ground by Thainos.
Alliance capital building:Symbol and home of the Alliance government.
Camelopardalis constellation:Home of the giraffe people.

This space is just for defining the known features and interior areas of the ship.

The bridge:The ship's command center.
Cargo bay:Has a rogue space cow.
Science deck:An area set aside for various kinds of research and development purposes. Houses various advanced scientific devices.
The replicators:Matter replicators that can produce virtually anything. The food replicators are currently deactivated.
Antimatter drive:Powers the ship.
Kitchens:Staffed by robot cooks.
Infirmary:A medical area.
Warp engines:Propulsion system.
Robot repair room:Overworked repair zone.
Drone fleet:Many of the ship's repair, defense, and security functions are handled by robots. Now subtly promoting mobile games designed by the honey badger people.
Transporter room:Used for conveniently beaming down to planets and sparking philosophical discussions.
Robotics lab:An area intended for R&D work on robots. Separate but adjacent to the robot repair room.
Mail carrier theme:Merging with the truck of the mailman Burt murdered has affected the Moloko's design.
Engineering department:For non-robotic engineering subjects.
Engine maintenance section:A section for the maintenance of the engine.
Brig:The ship's prison.
Hidden time machine room:This room was secretly installed by a time traveler to hide his time machine. Few know of it's existence, much less where it is.
Docking bay:One of several chambers where smaller ships can dock with the Moloko. The ship's contingent of Z-wing starfighters is stored here, along with a few shuttles that are used if the transporter isn't an option for whatever reason.
Observation decks:Large windows for viewing the majesty of space.
Escape pods:"Hold your fire, there's no life forms aboard."
AI core:Houses Delta's mind.
Silence's party:A room on the Moloko that Silence the mime decorated for a party.
Maintenance tunnels:An intricate maze of tunnels perfect for accessing crucial equipment or being hunted by xenomorphs.
Ship's vault:A location for storing valuable items recovered by the Moloko.
Synthetic Power Milk integration:Delta's copy of the Power Milk can boost systems on command.

Glass of platonic milk:Acquired by R15-B15, but then it left.
Sample of space cow milk:Briefly acquired by Nuhg before he was killed.
Sample of ghost space cow milk:Used by Nuhg to release the Seven in Hell.
Milk in tea:Brewed by Duncan G. Redford.
Glass of Milk:Given to GiantDad to help with his imaginary nausea.
Chupacabra milk:Traded to Nuhg in exchange for Asgardian mead.
Second sample of chupacabra milk:Captured by Thainos for his Unlimited Glove. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Second sample of ghost space cow milk:Aquired by the ghost of Nuhg.
Douge's found milk:
Doom Mug milk:Collected by T'zzz from their valley in the Dreamlands.
Dr. Bob's milk:Normal milk that Dr. Bob purchased and kept in his fridge. Long since spoiled by time.
Void-tainted milk:Milk from the ruins of the Bazaar. Poisoned by the spittle of Void nightmares.
Second sample of Doom Mug milk:Taken by Thainos. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Holy Grail Milk:The MacGuffin from the previous game. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Platonic Ideal Milk:The perfect abstract form of Milk-ness. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Elemental Plane milk:Summoned from a portal by T'zzz the White to clean some floors.
Time Milk:The milk delivery used by Shaun O'Brian to prevent the events of the original game. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Soul Milk:Gained with a sacrifice by Primus. One of the six Infinity Dairies.
Synthetic Power Milk:Created by Delta.
Stolen Milk:All the normal milk in the Universe, stolen by Nuhg to pay the Eldritch creatures for their help.
All liquid water:Angelo and Diablo accidentally turned this into milk while "helping" the Fates.

This is a mod that aims to make the game more !!FUN!! through the addition of internet memes, real life things, funny stuff and just your random bits of hilariousness filled with a bit of deadliness as a final touch. It is largely inspired by the internet itself.

This mod adds Necrothreaders, High Lord Threadomancers, Haxxors, L33t Gamerz, Lolcats, name changes such as forumites, laptops that shoot signatures, reindeer cavalry, chainsaws, drills, politicians, energy drinks, AK 47s and more things that aid in the creating of a !!FUN!! fortress. For the full experience, play next to a necro tower.

We garner inspiration from the internet directly, what kind of immersivity were you looking for?

This mod was originally made to be a complementary mod to the Community Succession Fortresses Necrothreat I, Necrothreat II,
 Necrothreat III & Necrothreat IV and as such is made by a few people. The first ones were Talvieno and BFEL and later on it went to incorporate anybody who would be willing to work on the mod itself, hence why it's a community mod. Originally, this was managed by Apiks, who also runs the Necrothreat line of forts. However, he later turned it over to me due to time constraints.

TL;DR: Everybody

Just go over to Necrothreat I, Necrothreat II, Necrothreat III & Necrothreat IV to see the mod in it's full glory of death and !!FUN!!!

Living heads on spikes destroying whole fortresses, entire armies of l33t gamerz and haxxorz annihilating Necrothreader undead armies whilst your reindeer cavalry charges from beyond the bridge, forests burning down and leaving the battlefield without a victor. Or that one time that a single haxxor managed to bring a fortress to its knees. And that's not counting vanilla DF events.

Just download it and put the folders in the DF Directory and overwrite if needed. Be sure to backup before doing so. Create a new world for the full effects of the mod.

v1.8.68 - Biden is now President of the politician civ.
v1.8.67 - Legos are now magma safe.
v1.8.66 - Geldable female cats suggested by Pikachu17, gharials by Enemy post.
v1.8.65 - Politician improvements by Voliol.
v1.8.64 - Some quick edits suggested by Voliol.
v1.8.63 - Obamium, walls, turrets, Obama prisms, tower defense gamers, and summoning interactions for certain politicians and gamers by TheRedwolf.
v1.8.62 - Slight patch for 47.02 by Enemy post.
1.8.61 - Girlfriend/boyfriend summoning interaction by Untrustedlife and Pikachu17.
1.8.6 - Updated to 47.01 by Enemy post.
v1.8.5 - Burgers, hot dogs, chips, fries, cooking recipies, legos, bun-nies, and other additions by Voliol.
v1.8.451 - Panda cheese by Voliol.
v1.8.45 -Hippie Treants and treehugging by Voliol and Enemy Post.
v1.8.44 - Corrugaphones by Voliol.
v1.8.43 - Plastics and legos by Voliol.
v1.8.42 - Politician language by Voliol.
v1.8.41 - Minor bugfix.
v1.8.4 - An enormous amount of editing by Voliol.
v1.8.31 - Pailbats by SQman.
v1.8.3 - Tear of Omer and eye of the Bear gems, fossil bone, bonium, Necropandas, Potmen, Gore trees, cars.
v1.8.22 - Lasersaur improvements and minor tweaks.
v1.8.2 - Ninja edits, cavemen, annoying duck.
v1.8.1 - Bongo cats
v1.8 - Enemy post takes control of project, bugfixing, Sanic, Foot lettuce, Chads, The Harpy-based Other Things, Bin Chickens, Bone Hurting Juice, Deez Tree, Drake, Globgogabgalab, Ninjas, Uncyclopedia dragons, electric guitar rework, motorcycles, Dobermans, elimination of pedobears.
v1.7.61 - Bugfix
v1.7.6 - Gunfolk & bugfixes
v1.7.5 - Updated to 44.02, Angry Birds, Bad piggies, meme birds, forumechs, working railgun reactions, comic books and manga, lasersaurs in the caverns, Epic Saxes and electric guitars as instruments, Overseer's Blue Eyes White Dragon, reworked courage wolves, politician improvements, Lulz, Evulz pests, goldfish and koi
v1.7.42 - Additions and bugfixes to Forumechs, raw data ore, neckbears, Afer and shills
v1.7.4 - Various bugfixes and modification to creatures, Hellacopters, undoed previous patch change to Thread Zombies limbs not being able to be revived
v1.7.23 - Bugfixes, Necrothreaders and thread zombies nerfed
v1.7.2 - Politician civilization and minor Bugfixes
v1.7.1 - Additional words in secrets, Indominus Rex, Migration to Github
v1.7 - Added Muffinator, Pepe Frog Creature, Beta Male, Hambinger of Baconing, Hamgel of Baconing, Splooshy, Isohacedron, Spiderbot, Robotic lazorshark, Fridge Leftovers, Energy Drinks, Toxic Waste, Computer Post, Home TV set, Computer, Console, Electric Component, Magnetic Disk Launcher, Railgun Weapon, Tech Lab, Magma Lab and Tripod
v1.6 - Unknown (Changelog lost)
v1.58 - Added Chainsaws & Drills
v1.57 - Added new language words & some book titles
v1.579 - Made chainsaws axes so they can fell trees
v1.567 - Added world words & Drills can now be used for mining
v1.566 - Changed the names of most of the assignable position & added some more words
v1.561 - More words in secret_thread, added trainable doge, added the Great and Noodly One, changed elves to hippies, added spooklight, added Fedoras

1 ingame year or 10 real days to complete your turn.
Please don't destroy the fort on purpose.

1.Enemy post
2.Wertyzerty
3.Dunamisdeos
4.Enemy post
5.Dunamisdeos
6.Robotala
7.Enemy post

I hope this letter finds you well. I can hear your complaint already, “Gordon Freeman, we have not heard from you in ages!” Well, if you care to hear excuses, I have plenty, the greatest of them being I’ve been in other dimensions and whatnot, unable to reach you by the usual means. This was the case until eighteen months ago, when I experienced a critical change in my circumstances, and was redeposited on these shores. In the time since, I have been able to think occasionally about how best to describe the intervening years, my years of silence. I do first apologize for the wait, and that done, hasten to finally explain (albeit briefly, quickly, and in very little detail) events following those described in my previous letter (referred to herewith as Episode 2).

To begin with, as you may recall from the closing paragraphs of my previous missive, the death of Eli Vance shook us all. The Research & Rebellion team was traumatized, unable to be sure how much of our plan might be compromised, and whether it made any sense to go on at all as we had intended. And yet, once Eli had been buried, we found the strength and courage to regroup. It was the strong belief of his brave daughter, the feisty Alyx Vance, that we should continue on as her father had wished. We had the Arctic coordinates, transmitted by Eli’s long-time assistant, Dr. Judith Mossman, which we believed to mark the location of the lost research vessel Borealis. Eli had felt strongly that the Borealis should be destroyed rather than allow it to fall into the hands of the Combine. Others on our team disagreed, believing that the Borealis might hold the secret to the revolution’s success. Either way, the arguments were moot until we found the vessel. Therefore, immediately after the service for Dr. Vance, Alyx and I boarded a helicopter and set off for the Arctic; a much larger support team, mainly militia, was to follow by separate transport.

It is still unclear to me exactly what brought down our little aircraft. The following hours spent traversing the frigid waste in a blizzard are also a jumbled blur, ill-remembered and poorly defined. The next thing I clearly recall is our final approach to the coordinates Dr. Mossman has provided, and where we expected to find the Borealis. What we found instead was a complex fortified installation, showing all the hallmarks of sinister Combine technology. It surrounded a large open field of ice. Of the Advisors itself there was no sign…or not at first. But as we stealthily infiltrated the Combine installation, we noticed a recurrent, strangely coherent auroral effect–as of a vast hologram fading in and out of view. This bizarre phenomenon initially seemed an effect caused by an immense Combine lensing system, Alyx and I soon realized that what we were actually seeing was the research vessel Borealis itself, phasing in and out of existence at the focus of the Combine devices. The aliens had erected their compound to study and seize the ship whenever it materialized. What Dr. Mossman had provided were not coordinates for where the sub was located, but instead for where it was predicted to arrive. The liner was oscillating in and out of our reality, its pulses were gradually steadying, but there was no guarantee it would settle into place for long–or at all. We determined that we must put ourselves into position to board it at the instant it became completely physical.

At this point we were briefly detained–not captured by the Combine, as we feared at first, but by minions of our former nemesis, the conniving and duplicitous Wallace Breen. Dr. Breen was not as we had last seen him–which is to say, he was not dead. At some point, the Combine had saved out an earlier version of his consciousness, and upon his physical demise, they had imprinted the back-up personality into a biological blank resembling an enormous slug. The Breen-Slug, despite occupying a position of relative power in the Combine hierarchy, seemed nervous and frightened of me in particular. Wallace did not know how his previous incarnation, the original Dr. Breen, had died. He knew only that I was responsible. Therefore the slug treated us with great caution. Still, he soon confessed (never able to keep quiet for long) that he was himself a prisoner of the Combine. He took no pleasure from his current grotesque existence, and pleaded with us to end his life. Alyx believed that a quick death was more than Wallace Breen deserved, but for my part, I felt a modicum of pity and compassion. Out of Alyx’s sight, I might have done something to hasten the slug’s demise before we proceeded.

Not far from where we had been detained by Dr. Breen, we found Judith Mossman being held in a Combine interrogation cell. Things were tense between Judith and Alyx, as might be imagined. Alyx blamed Judith for her father’s death…news of which, Judith was devastated to hear for the first time. Judith tried to convince Alyx that she had been a double agent serving the resistance all along, doing only what Eli had asked of her, even though she knew it meant she risked being seen by her peers–by all of us–as a traitor. I was convinced; Alyx less so. But from a pragmatic point of view, we depended on Dr. Mossman; for along with the Borealis coordinates, she possessed resonance keys which would be necessary to bring the liner fully into our plane of existence.

We skirmished with Combine soldiers protecting a Combine research post, then Dr. Mossman attuned the Borealis to precisely the frequencies needed to bring it into (brief) coherence. In the short time available to us, we scrambled aboard the ship, with an unknown number of Combine agents close behind. The ship cohered for only a short time, and then its oscillations resume. It was too late for our own military support, which arrived and joined the Combine forces in battle just as we rebounded between universes, once again unmoored.

What happened next is even harder to explain. Alyx Vance, Dr. Mossman and myself sought control of the ship–its power source, its control room, its navigation center. The liner’s history proved nonlinear. Years before, during the Combine invasion, various members of an earlier science team, working in the hull of a dry-docked liner situated at the Aperture Science Research Base in Lake Huron, had assembled what they called the Bootstrap Device. If it worked as intended, it would emit a field large enough to surround the ship. This field would then itself travel instantaneously to any chosen destination without having to cover the intervening space. There was no need for entry or exit portals, or any other devices; it was entirely self-contained. Unfortunately, the device had never been tested. As the Combine pushed Earth into the Seven Hour War, the aliens seized control of our most important research facilities. The staff of the Borealis, with no other wish than to keep the ship out of Combine hands, acted in desperation. The switched on the field and flung the Borealis toward the most distant destination they could target: Arctica. What they did not realize was that the Bootstrap Device travelled in time as well as space. Nor was it limited to one time or one location. The Borealis, and the moment of its activation, were stretched across space and time, between the nearly forgotten Lake Huron of the Seven Hour War and the present day Arctic; it was pulled taut as an elastic band, vibrating, except where at certain points along its length one could find still points, like the harmonic spots along a vibrating guitar string. One of these harmonics was where we boarded, but the string ran forward and back, in both time and space, and we were soon pulled in every direction ourselves.

Time grew confused. Looking from the bridge, we could see the drydocks of Aperture Science at the moment of teleportation, just as the Combine forces closed in from land, sea and air. At the same time, we could see the Arctic wastelands, where our friends were fighting to make their way to the protean Borealis; and in addition, glimpses of other worlds, somewhere in the future perhaps, or even in the past. Alyx grew convinced we were seeing one of the Combine’s central staging areas for invading other worlds–such as our own. We meanwhile fought a running battle throughout the ship, pursued by Combine forces. We struggled to understand our situation, and to agree on our course of action. Could we alter the course of the Borealis? Should we run it aground in the Arctic, giving our peers the chance to study it? Should we destroy it with all hands aboard, our own included? It was impossible to hold a coherent thought, given the baffling and paradoxical timeloops, which passed through the ship like bubbles. I felt I was going mad, that we all were, confronting myriad versions of ourselves, in that ship that was half ghost-ship, half nightmare funhouse.

What it came down to, at last, was a choice. Judith Mossman argued, reasonably, that we should save the Borealis and deliver it to the resistance, that our intelligent peers might study and harness its power. But Alyx reminded me she had sworn she would honor her father’s demand that we destroy the ship. She hatched a plan to set the Borealis to self-destruct, while riding it into the heart of the Combine’s invasion nexus. Judith and Alyx argued. Judith overpowered Alyx and brought the Borealis area, preparing to shut off the Bootstrap Device and settle the ship on the ice. Then I heard a shot, and Judith fell. Alyx had decided for all of us, or her weapon had. With Dr. Mossman dead, we were committed to the suicide plunge. Grimly, Alyx and I armed the Borealis, creating a time-travelling missile, and steered it for the heart of the Combine’s command center.

At this point, as you will no doubt be unsurprised to hear, a Certain Sinister Figure appeared, in the form of that sneering trickster, G-Man. For once he appeared not to me, but to Alyx Vance. Alyx had not seen the cryptical bureaucrat since childhood, but she recognized him instantly. “Come along with me now, we’ve places to do and things to be,” said G-Man, and Alyx acquiesced. She followed the strange grey gentleman out of the Borealis, out of our reality. For me, there was no convenient door held open; only a snicker and a sideways glance. I was left alone, riding the weaponized research vessel into the heart of a Combine world. An immense light blazed. I caught a cosmic view of a brilliantly glittering Dyson sphere. The vastness of the Combine’s power, the futility of our struggle, blossomed briefly in my awareness. I saw everything. Mainly I saw how the Borealis, our most powerful weapon, would register as less than a fizzling matchhead as it blew itself apart. And what remained of me would be even less than that.

Just then, as you have surely already foreseen, the Vortigaunts parted their own checkered curtains of reality, reached in as they have on prior occasions, plucked me out, and set me aside. I barely got to see the fireworks begin.

And here we are. I spoke of my return to this shore. It has been a circuitous path to lands I once knew, and surprising to see how much the terrain has changed. Enough time has passed that few remember me, or what I was saying when last I spoke, or what precisely we hoped to accomplish. At this point, the resistance will have failed or succeeded, no thanks to me. Old friends have been silenced, or fallen by the wayside. I no longer know or recognize most members of the research team, though I believe the spirit of rebellion still persists. I expect you know better than I the appropriate course of action, and I leave you to it. Except no further correspondence from me regarding these matters; this is my final episode.

Yours in infinite finality, Gordon Freeman, Ph.D.