Chapter 41: Returning Firing
The
L.R.S. Crater and
La Hispaniola turn at each other until they are parallel.
"Fire the cannons, broadside!" barks out the admiral. (1 vs. 2) There is a volley of exploding cannons as the first naval attack of the battle is commenced. However, most of the cannonballs fall short, and the ones that do hit are only skimping shots. Shortly after, there are a series of explosions from the opposite ship.
"Brace yourselves!" (1 vs. 6) All of
La Hispaniola's shots are way off. And a fire starts on that ship.
The Pastamancer sets up his pasta mortar and pasta shell. Carefully angling the machine, he fires the first attack from the
H.O.E.S. (5 vs. 3) The shell pops up and whizzes through the air with a familiar whizzing sound. It smashes into the mid-section of the side of
La Hispaniola, taking out 8 Cannons.
Rainbow Dash goes for a more indirect attack. Flying into a sky, she pulls one of the clouds out of the sky and starts contorting it into a storm cloud. (2) It just becomes a regular raincloud.
Delta stands ready, his Telekinetic fingers twitching, awaiting a cannon ball to come close enough to the
L.M.S. Crater to intercept.
Merasmus shoots a bolt of fire at el Ballestro! (6 vs. 4) The bolt hits him in the chest, and before he can blink he's totally aflame and running around wildly.
"Come on men, let's raise the flag of America on La Hispaniola!" (1)
Teddy Roosevelt is ignored. (Dejection: -1 to all rolls next turn)
Applejack swings her lasso high.
"I've never lassoed a ship before, but I suppose there's a firs' try for everythin'!" El Hispaniola is about three football fields away in distance. This might take a while.
Gordon Freeman 2.0 opens up the console and tries calling for help. (3) He summons
Rebel!Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle has cannons of his own. He draws the
Bard's Pistols and fires them at the Musculo. Being that he's firing early firearms at a sniping distance, he surprisingly misses. So he reloads and fires again. And again. And again. And again. (3 vs. 2) A random shot manages to hit the Musculo in the foot.
As the ship pulls closer,
Cyan Garamonde takes out his bow. He loads it up and starts firing multiple flaming arrows at
El Hispaniola. (4 vs. 1) One of his arrows flies into the guard compound and starts a fire. Dozens of guards are killed as a result. Cyan can see some of them running outside and jumping into the water below.
Ellos Conquistadors, Bucanero, and with 80 Guards board onto 3 smaller ships. The ships are detached from the larger one and start coming towards the
L.M.S. Crater at a surprisingly fast speed.
The Ballestero tries to find some water on deck, on account of being a burning man. (5) He pours a bucket over himself, extinguishing the flames. He sighs in relief.
El Artillero sees
Rainbow Dash fiddling with a random cloud. He raises his Mosquete and fires at her. (1 vs. 2) He misses. (2 vs. 1) The raincloud comes over and rains directly on him.
El Musculo takes a random cannonball and chucks it at
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle.
Delta, however, intercepts the cannonball! (3 vs. 2) He chucks it back at the Musculo. The cannon misses it's target but strikes the deck near El Musculo, and he is hit in the leg by shrapnel!
La Amante gives a cat-like grin as she chucks a knife at the
Pastamancer. (2 vs. 4) The knife lands between his legs.
"That's a low blow! Taste my pastery-powers!" (6 vs. 4) He fires another tortellini shell, and this one explodes right over her face, searing the skin on her face off! She doesn't look so pretty now.
"Glory to the homeland brothers!" El Musico plays a patriotic battle tune through his Spanish Trumpet. (2) He's drowned out by la Amante screaming about her face.
Elite Mongolian Warriors draw their bows and fire a nasty volley onto the deck of
La Hispaniola. (4 vs. 2) Several sailors are penetrated by long shafts. Tee hee. And they die.
Oleg picks up a cannonball and throws it at
La Hispaniola. (6 vs. 4) It hits la Amante right in the head! She won't have to worry about her face now.
"We're not hitting them, but they are striking us?! Get this ship closer!" The sails on
La Hispaniola shift as the ship navigates towards the
L.R.S. Crater at a perpendicular angle.
Hernando Cortez
Health: Fine
Mood: Closer! Money! Slavery! *Waves around sword wildly*
The Hispaniola
Status: On Fire
- Created in the same fashion as an old Conquistador Ship, with several modern upgrades.
Sailors: 200/250
Guards: 418/500
Gunners: 130/130
Cannons: 57/65
- Numbers do not include Cortes's personal bodyguard.
Conquistador #1: Out to conquer the new world with Cortez.
Items: Espada-Ropera Sword, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: Fine
Conquistador #2: Is on the trip to convert the natives to Catholicism.
Items: Alabarda Halberd, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: Fine
Conquistador #3: Just here for the money.
Items: Hacha Axe, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: Fine
Ballestero: Like the last crossbowman, but more Spanish.
Ballesta takes 1 turn to load. +1 when fired.
Items: Ballesta Crossbow
Health: Burnt
Artillero: Hey look, guns!
Items: Mosquete Musket
Health: Fine
Músculo: A big bruiser rippling with muscles.
Items: Pants
Health: Foot Shot, Leg Shrapnel
Bucanero: Apparently, there's also Spanish pirates.
Items: Espada Embarque Sword, Trabuco Naranjero Blunderbuss
Fine
Amante: She's as beautiful as she is deadly.
Items: Whip, Throwing Knives, Battles Dress
Health: Face Seared Off
Músico: Listen to those sexy-ass melodies.
Can inspire teammates and distract enemies.
Items: Spanish Trumpet, Spanish Guitar
Health: Fine
L.R.S. Crater
Status: Fine
- Captained by Admiral Waverider
- Made to be contemporary style to Cortes's vessel. However, it's modeled after a pirate ship. Aargh!
Sailors: 325/325
Guards: 400/400
Gunners: 480/480
Cannons: 70/70
- Contains small boats that can be launched and used to board enemy ships.
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camouflage, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade, Poisoned Blade of Hamlet, Bow & Arrows, Lamp Oil
Health: Fine
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades, ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow, Banana, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, The Boss's Cell Phone
Health: Fine
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle
Items: Webley Mk.IV, Lee Enfield No.IV Mk.I, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Bard's Pistols
Health: Fine
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown, Jackie's Micro Uzi, Pinkie's Rocket Propelled Chainsaw
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt, Skiing Pants, Glass Balls
Health: Fine
Merasmus
Items: Bombinomicon, Staff of Wood-ness
Health: Fine
Applejack
Items:
Health: Fine
Delta
Items: Drill Arm, Rivet Gun, Machine Gun, Spear Gun
Health: Fine
Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, 2 Pistols, Knife
Health: Dejected; -1 to all rolls
Elite Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Composite Bows, Halberds, Anti-Calavry Lances, Augmented Mongolian Armor
Health: 30/30 Warriors
Oleg
Equipment:
Health: Fine
Rebel
Equipment: Assault Rifle, Pistol
Health: Fine
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337113 times)