Chapter 42: Anti-Pasta
Pastamancer calls forth the Spaghetti Elemental! (1) He accidentally summons the dreaded
Anti-Pastians! They surround him with large protest signs an a nearly suffocating circle.
"NO MORE PASTA, NO MORE PASTA, NO MORE PASTA," etc.
Gordon Freeman 2.0 hands the RPG to the
Rebel to attack the ships while he calls for more troops. The rebel fires the rocket at the incoming ships, (3 vs. 5) but the guards on the ship pin him down with musket fire. (4 vs. 4) The rebel ducks behind the mast as shells hit the ship. Gordon Freeman summons (2) a fly.
Depressed
Teddy Roosevelt takes some half-hearted shots at the incoming ships. (2-1 vs. 4) He misses everything. Even the water. (3 vs. 1-1) A guard shoots Teddy in the leg, but he doesn't even care.
Merasmus casts elemental bolts at the incoming ships. (2 vs. 1) He manages to kill one of the guards. And that was because he dropped his gun and shot himself.
Delta shoots a harpoon at the Musculo. (6 vs. 1) The spear sails through the air and hits the Musculo right in the head, decapitating him, and pinning his head to
La Hispaniola's center mast.
Rainbow Dash rides her cloud over
La Hispaniola and jumps on it to create rain. (6) It pours hard! This should prevent severely slow it's turn this turn.
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle shoots the Musculo's decapitated body.
Applejack runs down to the lower levels of the deck, where she shows a group of gunners how it's done.
"Grapeshot huh? Lemme' show y'all something we have back at the farm called apple-shot!" The orange pony loads a bunch of apples into the cannon and fires them off. (6 vs. 5) The apples are surprisingly effective and one even manages to rip off an arm of the first Conquistador.
Cyan Garamonde fires a Fire Arrow at the Artillero soldier. (3 vs. 6) The soldier steps out of the way as the arrow lands where he was standing. He stamps the fire out before firing a return shot at Cyan. (6 vs. 2) The bullet hits Cyan in the side of the neck. He begins gurgling and spraying blood all over the place.
The boarding ships arrive at the
L.R.S. Crater! The boarders begin scaling the broadside of the ship as the Lunar guards arrive to defend it.
The 79 Spanish Guards and the Lunar Guards engage in the first combat, as swords and pistols are drawn. (5 vs. 4) A brawl initiates, and but most of the first guards to go down of Luna's side.
Conquistador Uno tries climbing up the ship with a single arm. (4) He manages to actually do so.
Conquistador Dos boards the ship and sees
Gordon Freeman 2.0 busy typing on his Console. The conquistador charges the doctor with his halberd's spearhead. (4 vs. 1) Gordon looks up too late as the Spaniard stabs him in the hip.
Conquistador Tres boards and immediately goes after the biggest person,
Oleg. (3 vs. 6) The giant sidesteps the Conquistador's large axe, (4 vs. 2) and shoves him back. The Spaniard flies into the wall outside the Captain's study.
El Ballestero loads his Ballesta.
Artillero fires another vengeful shot at
Cyan Garamonde. (5 vs. 3) He shoots Cyan again, this time in the leg.
(Fatal Wound: 1 Turn Remaining) El Bucanero boards the Lunar ship and fires his Blunderbuss at
Merasmus. (1 vs. 5) The gun misfires. (3 vs. 1) The wizard teleports to the pirate and hits him in the face with his staff.
Muisco tries seducing
Rainbow Dash with his Spanish Guitar. (4 vs. 6)
"Boo, you suck!" Rain cloud (2 vs. 1) rains on him.
Elite Mongolian Warriors fighting the boarding Spanish Guards. (1 vs. 6) Turkish Sabers weren't made to fight Peninsular Armor apparently. (3+1 vs. 1) And so many of the Mongols were slaughtered.
Oleg stomps at the third Conquistador. (2 vs. 1) The Spaniard rolls out of the way, so Oleg just sorta' nudges him.
Rebel turns around to see
Gordon Freeman 2.0 getting stabbed by the second Conquistador. The Rebel puts the RPG away and pulls out his Pistol, and runs at the Spaniard. (5 vs. 6) He shoots the Conquistador many times! Though no bullets penetrate his armor. (6 vs. 5) The Conquistador responds by slicing his Halberd's axe across the Rebel's stomach. The Rebel falls to his knees and starts bleeding out.
Due to the rain,
L.R.S.Crater is able to turn port-side before
La Hispaniola can even start turning.
"Port, fire!" (4 vs. 2) The Crater's volley strikes the Spanish Ship, taking out 20 of it's gunners.
"We can not take any more of this! Abandon the side cannons, pull the sails, man the oars, ramming mode activate!" The wet sails of the ship are drawn and oars come out, so the boat looks more like a Viking Ship. It begins rolling towards the Crater.
Hernando Cortez
Health: Fine
Mood: Ramming Speed!
The Hispaniola
Status: On Fire
- Created in the same fashion as an old Conquistador Ship, with several modern upgrades.
Sailors: 200/250
Guards: 400/500
Gunners: 110/130
Cannons: 57/65
- Numbers do not include Cortes's personal bodyguard.
Conquistador #1: Out to conquer the new world with Cortez.
Items: Espada-Ropera Sword, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: No Left Arm
Conquistador #2: Is on the trip to convert the natives to Catholicism.
Items: Alabarda Halberd, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: Fine
Conquistador #3: Just here for the money.
Items: Hacha Axe, Conquistador Armor Set
Health: Slammed
Ballestero: Like the last crossbowman, but more Spanish.
Ballesta takes 1 turn to load. +1 when fired.
Items: Ballesta Crossbow
Health: Burnt
Artillero: Hey look, guns!
Items: Mosquete Musket
Health: Fine
Bucanero: Apparently, there's also Spanish pirates.
Items: Espada Embarque Sword, Trabuco Naranjero Blunderbuss
Face Bashed
Músico: Listen to those sexy-ass melodies.
Can inspire teammates and distract enemies.
Items: Spanish Trumpet, Spanish Guitar
Health: Fine
L.R.S. Crater
Status: Fine
- Captained by Admiral Waverider
- Made to be contemporary style to Cortes's vessel. However, it's modeled after a pirate ship. Aargh!
Sailors: 325/325
Guards: 355/400
Gunners: 480/480
Cannons: 70/70
- Contains small boats that can be launched and used to board enemy ships.
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camouflage, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade, Poisoned Blade of Hamlet, Bow & Arrows, Lamp Oil
Health: Neck Shot, Leg Shot, Extreme Bleeding
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades, ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow, Banana, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, The Boss's Cell Phone
Health: Hip Stabbed
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle
Items: Webley Mk.IV, Lee Enfield No.IV Mk.I, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Bard's Pistols
Health: Fine
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown, Jackie's Micro Uzi, Pinkie's Rocket Propelled Chainsaw
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt, Skiing Pants, Glass Balls
Health: Fine
Merasmus
Items: Bombinomicon, Staff of Wood-ness
Health: Fine
Applejack
Items:
Health: Fine
Delta
Items: Drill Arm, Rivet Gun, Machine Gun, Spear Gun
Health: Fine
Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, 2 Pistols, Knife
Health: Dejected; -1 to all rolls, Leg Shot
Elite Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Composite Bows, Halberds, Anti-Cavalry Lances, Augmented Mongolian Armor
Health: 18/30 Warriors
Oleg
Equipment:
Health: Fine
Rebel
Equipment: Assault Rifle, Pistol, Javelin RPG
Health: Stomach Slashed, Extreme Bleeding
Anti-Pastians
Equipment: Anti-Pasta Materials
Health: 100%
Sorry my postings are as clever or detailed for this battle guys, I don't really know that much about naval combat.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337106 times)