Chapter 10: Terrorism is Bad
And so it begins.The Meteor Golem charges directly into the mass of soldiers, flinging it's arms around like an epileptic monkey. The Golem goes crazy into the first squad of Infantry. (5 vs. 3) The soldiers fire their rifles at the meteor hulk to no effect. The Golem takes one soldier and squezzes his head to a pulp. He grabs two more and smashes their bodies together into a mess of human blood and flesh. He takes one more soldier, who screams in the golem's fiery hands, and bites his head off, grinding them in his rocky teeth.
Twilight Sparkle meanwhile, searches the sky for any flying enemies. Seeing a group of Assualt Helicopters in the distance.
"Magicora missia!" (1 vs. 2) A beam of light erupts from her horn and zooms towards the flying vehicles at light speed. The beam fails to damage the helicopters, and only serves to alert the crew.
"We're being attacked! All guns shoot that purple thing!" With the appropriate music playing, the Helicopters unleash their machine guns on Twilight. (6 vs. 2) One of the stray bullets embeds itself in the top of Twilight's spine, causing her to start gushing out spinal blood. Ouch.
Teddy 'The American Rasputin' Roosevelt makes a speech; [
b]"All of you that dare wear American uniforms! You are traitors! Douglas wishes to make you the harbingers of oppression and evil! And you accept it! You call yourself American?! What happened to freedom? Join me! Join the true American side! Will you kill one of the presidents in the name of his country, but truly in the name of a demented fool? Or will you be patriots? Will you be truly good? Will you be American? Will you be heroes? Will you join me?"[/b] (1) One of the Snipers takes this as a chance to pull a JFK. (6 vs. 5) Teddy Roosevelt looks down and realizes he has been shot straight through the chest, for not the first (and probably not last) time.
Cyan Garamonde unsheathes his Katana, running towards the Scout squad with the samurai battle cry of
"BANZAIIIIIIII~!" (4 vs. 2) Cyan ducks and weaves through the SMG fire, jumping up and slashing one Scout right across his center of mass. The soldier sprays gallons of blood everywhere and falls over. Another tries to smash his SMG into Garamonde's head, but the Samurai blocks it and stabs his Katana right through his throat.
Wurmple sees the incoming attack of Assualt Helicopters, and responds with a storm of needles! (4 vs. 2) Most of the needles harmlessly bounce off the Helicopters, but one of them breaks through the main window and strikes a pilot in the head! The Helicopter begins descending rapedtly, a screaming crewmember yelling,
"May-day, this is Hawk-eye 26! We're going down, I repeat, we're-" The aircraft crashes into the ground at a high speed, resulting in a magnificant explosion.
Sun Tzu calls up his homies on his cell phone. (6)
"Hey, it's your O.G. Sunnie T. I'm requesting to meet up with you." "Wait, are you talking to me?" "No he's talking to me!" "I think he's talking about me, I'm Yu." "No, I'm me, you're you!" "Wait, I'm me, not Yu!" "No, Yu is me!" "Shut up! Every come! Now!"
They all come.
'Chinese Army' has joined the Party!Rainbow Dash zips past the newly arrived soldiers and makes and beeline for the Bomber. (2) Rainbow flies into the vehicle through an emergency door, causing the crew to scream. Wow, it's a big crew, like 100 people! She flies to the front, smacking two guards in the face with her hooves knocking them out cold. Once in the cockpit, she shoves the pilot's aside and grabs the controls, which seem a bit funky. Then Dashie realizes she's hijacked a random commericial airplane.
"Oh. Darn."Fluttershy looks into the Sniper's scope with a face of general d'awwwwness. (1) One of the Sniper's readies the bolt on his gun. (5 vs. 6) The armor-piercing round flies full force at Fluttershy, but at the last second it misses because what sort of fuckhead shoots Fluttershy?
Angel meanwhile, sets up a tripwire for the Scouts. (6) He litters it with soda and Dispeners, two of the greatest forms of Scout bait.
Pinkie Pie loads her cannon up with Napalm-based Confetti Solution. Pointing it at the Bomber, she declares,
"One Party coming up!" (1) Her Cannon explodes in her face, putting it out of use temporairly until it is repaired.
"Go Go Go!" The First Infantry launches their first move, running away from the
Meteor Golem supporting the Scout Squad by firing on
Cyan Garamonde. (1 vs. 2) As they fire on him, the Samurai warrior runs at them, deflecting their bullets with lightening quick Katana strokes. (5 vs. 6) Cyan then launches a brilliant overhand combo attack. Too bad he just ends up slicing the air.
The Second Infantry charges
Teddy Roosevelt. (6 vs. 2)
"You call yourselves Americans? You wouldn't know American if it-" He is struck in the forehead by a bullet, knocking him out.
The Scout Squad use the oppurtunity given by the Infantry to sneak away, but they are distracted by
Angel's tripwire. "Needadispenserhere," they chant, running into the tripwire. (1) It fails to go off, and Angel watches in dismay as the Scouts drink Soda and their comrades are rebirthed.
"Tango in possession of Artillery. Engaging." The Shocktroopers run up to
Pinkie Pie who in the process of fixing her Party Cannon. (3 vs. 2) They light her tail on fire.
"Aaaahhh!"The remaining Assualt Helicopters watch as their comrade explodes into the dirt. "Hey, get that red worm thing!" The Helicopters turn their guns on
Wurmple. (1 vs. 3) The speedy worm Pokemon is able to zigzag away from their continous fire. (6 vs. 4) Wurmple fires a String Shot at one Helicopter, covering it with the sticky substance. The blades of the Helicopter stop turning. "The Blade is jammed, we-" The Helicopter plunges into the ground and explodes.
The Bomber ascends over
Rainbow Dash, who is busy piloting the commericial airplane. R.D. looks up.
"Huh?" (2 vs. 5) The Bomber drops a load of Napalm below, but Rainbow Dash turns the plane on it's side, evading the explosives. The crowd screams.
"You pink monkeys think that's all it takes to stop The Rainbow Dash? Watch this!" (4 vs. 1) Rainbow Dash manuevers the plane and
crashes one of it's wings into the Bomber. Dashie sees the Bomber ripped open by her attack. But then she realizes that she's falling to the ground, thousands of feet in the air, in a plane.
The Sniper's get
Twilight Sparkle in their scopes. "Bingo." (1 vs. 2) They fire the bullet, but even in her injured state, Twilight gets out the incantation,
"Missia Reflecta!" (5 vs. 6) The bullet goes flying off, right back at the Snipers, and then embeds itself in the nearby hilltop with a
*plink*.The Machine Gun Nest fires on
Fluttershy. (6 vs. 3) A bullet pierces her Torso, going into her Stomach! Ow.
Rambo goes
AAARGHHAUERNGAWIALEJWALGEBKAEWHABVLEKW. (2) That's fucking stupid.
Mongolian Warriors attack the First Infantry. (6 vs. 1) Appaerently, Bows and Spears are enough to kill an entire squad of trained soldiers. Who knew?
2 Mongolian Horses gallop towards the Machinegun Nest. (5 vs. 2) They jump in, buck a few guys in the face, and jump back out.
"CHINA!!!!!!!" A thousand-million-bajillion Chinese soldiers attack the Scout Squad. (4 vs. 3) They grab two of them and start eating them. Yeah. Eating. Yep.
General Old MacDonald turns to a nearby engineer.
"Get the package ready, wouldya'? The engineer runs off to prepare this mysterious package.
Genearl MacArhutr
Health: Fuckin' A
Mood: Where you at now, Teddy?
Twilight Sparkle
Items:
Health: Spine Shot, Heavy Bleeding
Rainbow Dash
Items: Katana
Health: Fine
Pinkie Pie
Items: Party Cannon (Broken)
Health: Tail on Fire
Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, Pistol, Knife
Health: Chest Blasted, Forehead Skim Shot, Heavy Bleeding, Unconcious
Sun Tzu
Items: Kaiyun, Ji, Battle Banner, Art of War, Lamellar Armor
Health: Bludgeoned Heavily
Fluttershy
Items:
Health: Stomach Shot, Heavy Bleeding
Wurmple
Items:
Health: Fine
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor
Health: Fine
Infantry #2 - The Reinforcements.
Equipment: Infantry Armor, M16's
Health: 10/10 Remaining
Scout Squad - They rush in fast, and get out as quickly.
Equipment: Light U.S. Armor, SMG's
Health: 4/6 Remaining
Shocktroopers - Heavily armored, slow moving power machines.
Equipment: Heavy U.S. Armor, Shotguns, Flamethrowers
Health: 8/8 Remaining
Assualt Helicopters - Flight of the Valkyries, anyone?
Equipment: Machine Guns
Health: 1/3 Helicopters Remaining
Bomber - Rains hell.
Equipment: Napalm Bombs
Health: Hull Ripped Open
Snipers - They remain far back, spread out, picking off enemies one head at a time.
Equipment: Sniper Rifles, Camoflouge
Health: 4/4 Remaining
Machine Gun Nest - A group of heavily armed, stationary soldiers that tear anyone at close range to pieces.
Equipment: 1 Heavy Machine Gun, Rifles, Grenades
Health: 3/6 Remaining
Rambo - This dude needs a shirt.
Equipment: Mobile Machine Gun, Knife, 999% Testoserone Level
Health: RAAAWWWRRR!
Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 50/50 Warriors
2 Mongolian Horses
Equipment: Mongolian Horse Armor
Health: Both Fine
Meteor Golem
Equipment:
Health: Fine
Chinese Army
Equipment: 9,486,484,025,673,596,482 things.
Health: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Soldiers Standing
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337339 times)