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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 312967 times)

schrocko88

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #450 on: October 10, 2012, 11:56:17 pm »

So this has absolutely nothing to do with the prompt, even though I requested one. I've been busy with this. It's for my creative writing class. Sorry for grammar and spelling errors, it's late and I want to go to bed. No time to proof read.


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Karnewarrior

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #451 on: October 11, 2012, 09:57:37 am »

Is there an alternative to word that'll let me write something withoout costing $150 US? I don't need anything fancy, just something a bit more sophisticated than Notepad.
Honestly, 150 bucks? Can you say monopoly?
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kilakan

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #452 on: October 11, 2012, 10:03:57 am »

I think there is something called... open office or something like that?  Otherwise ... yarrr word
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Skyrunner

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #453 on: October 11, 2012, 10:07:08 am »

Google Docs supports the entire suite of MS Office, though much less features.
Also cloud.
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Johuotar

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #454 on: October 11, 2012, 10:13:15 am »

Get libreoffice instead of Openoffice, it works better with word. I think.
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Fishbreath

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #455 on: October 11, 2012, 10:59:19 am »

I write with gedit in Linux. The advanced find-and-replace plugin is great when I'm marking stuff up to go to the web, and since that's the primary place I put my writing, it's an easy choice. I lose fancy formatting options, but I generally prefer to write without leaning on italics whenever possible, as annoying as it gets when I'm writing stories that need italicizes starship/zeppelin names.

Reudh

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #456 on: October 11, 2012, 03:45:02 pm »

-Wordpad that comes with Windows has more formatting features than Notepad. It saves in RTF, and can read most modernish formats, up to DOC i think. Can't read DOCX sadly.
-OpenOffice.org, which is what I have, is roughly the same as Word 2003/4 in terms of looks and handling, but it's slightly slower to respond. It can read all modern text formats, but not PDF.
-LibreOffice I haven't heard much about, though it's a spiritual sequel to OpenOffice.

Fishbreath

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #457 on: October 11, 2012, 06:10:29 pm »

OO.org was a Sun product and is now an Oracle product, so people don't like it as much. LibreOffice is a fork of OpenOffice.org from a year or three ago.

Skyrunner

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #458 on: October 12, 2012, 07:28:16 am »

schrocko88 in case you are still on the board, and are still editing your creative writing essay ...
Note that I got lazy halfway through and stopped quoting everything, but all the points still stand.
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DiezIrae

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #459 on: October 13, 2012, 10:24:43 am »

I just rewrote my old prologue of my old story 'Bad Fantasy'.

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« Last Edit: October 13, 2012, 10:33:03 am by DiezIrae »
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chevil

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #460 on: October 17, 2012, 03:47:15 pm »

I would like to hear some comments on my story.

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Reudh

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #461 on: October 17, 2012, 05:47:00 pm »

Diez, Chevil, if you're still here, I'll attempt to critique yours tonight.

Phantom of The Library

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #462 on: October 17, 2012, 09:29:51 pm »

I wonder, do translations count as postable?

Yep, perfectly postable, although I would recommend that any translations be to English, not from.


If Phantom doesn't mind  / can't be reached, I'd love to give out the prompt for this week.
Do it, sire.

You're one of the mentors, so I am sure that Phantom won't mind.  :P

* Tiruin calls the next prompt after Reudh.

I don't mind in the least, actually, I'm actually rather glad that you are. I've been increasingly short on time recently (Mostly my own fault for being too prideful and stubborn to ask for help when I needed it and now I'm paying for it.) and consequently I'm almost never on the forums any more and when I am, I almost always forget about this thread.

So, keep on doing what you're doing people!


P.S. If somebody asked me something and I missed it, I apologize, I only skimmed through for questions. Let me know if I did!
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DiezIrae

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #463 on: October 18, 2012, 02:07:36 am »

Diez, Chevil, if you're still here, I'll attempt to critique yours tonight.

still here,  please do ^^
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Reudh

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #464 on: October 18, 2012, 06:02:46 am »

I just rewrote my old prologue of my old story 'Bad Fantasy'.

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An interesting concept for a story. You have a great current of emotion that buffets the reader along, it's a great thing for a writer to have. Your narrator, the boy, seems very eloquent indeed, despite an upbringing that suggests little chance for books or loving parents. Why is this so? I am not saying that it is incorrect, merely that it is out of the ordinary for one orphaned at a young age to have the stimulation to be so eloquent.

The part where he speaks to the priest certainly conveys the hopelessness that the boy feels... the repetition is a very strong way of showing it. It's very jarring, however; try not to overuse it. Repetition, even only used to convey hopelessness/emotion/etc is still repetitive.

'Never gravely sick' is an awkward phrase, perhaps replace it. 'Never gravely ill' is less awkward.

Finally, while I do think you do have to have a plot piece that motivates his and his sister's seperation, the 'he's 18 and hence too young' reason is not that strong.

If he's earning, and has a house, even a shitbox rental, he'd most likely be able to have custody of her. Unless she had a particular illness that required care, most often he'd get custody.

I thought this was a great piece, with a few parts I wasn't sure about... but the current of emotion that runs through it is powerful indeed. With some refining I could see this being a story I'd hook into easily! Keep up the good work, DiezIrae!

I would like to hear some comments on my story.

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Pleasepleasepleaseplease use paragraphs. It makes it incredibly hard to read if blocks of text run together, as in they're a 'wall of text'. A general rule of thumb could be whenever you either:
Reach four-five sentences, give or take two or so:
when a character begins to speak, it should go in a new line and hence paragraph:
Whenever a piece of the story un- or partially-related to the previous piece begins.

There's also quite a few spelling and grammatical mistakes, which is to be expected. No one gets their grammar or spelling 100% right. I'd recommend proofreading your piece once you've finished it; get out a fine toothed comb and pick what you feel is incorrect out. "In fact" is two words, not one, for example. "Ultra realistic ghoul costume" is an item/thing, and so it should be in inverted commas, rather than quote marks, unless someone is saying "Ultra realistic ghoul costume."

There doesn't seem to be much of a plot, I'm afraid. What I can see from it is:

Ramon the ghoul lives in secret. The only time he leaves his hideyhole is to enter a disguise contest, versus a person called the 'master of disguise'. He always wins because Ramon really is a ghoul.

But there's no plot besides that. I... I don't mean to be rude, but a story with a near empty plot is not really worth reading. I'd recommend making the story a bit longer, provide more characterisation. Why does Ramon exist? Why does the only foray he make into society exist as entering a disguising contest? Why does he win every year if he's a ghoul every time?

I hope my critiquing helped you.

Some sentences
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